Quick Links for May 18th

Jesus tapdancing Christ it's hot. Welcome back summer. Luckily summer also brings us women wearing little-to-no clothing so I say bring it on sun! Sorry we're so late today, things have been busy behind the scenes here. We're on the verge of a fairly big announcement but I don't want to tip my hand quite yet. Just know it'll happen sometime this week. But until then Quick Links!

So much for the government harshing our mellow

Last week Mike Fitzgerald was in the middle of getting his Peter Tosh on, he blogged a reader's e-mail about worries that the government's weed would totally suck. Fitzy's argument was that it was better than the alternative, Mexican Tony Soprano weed. And he was right, government weed would be a great alternative to Mexican ganj. Not because of violence, but because Mexican weed sucks, and the feds a hoarding some straight up kill. So yeah, even when he's right, Fitz is still hilariously wrong.

Hey, speaking of The Man, fuck you Steve Moore

Before we get started we'd like to note that this never would have happened if Baxter Dunn were still alive (note: that's a joke, I'm pretty sure he's still with us). That being said, my bulshit detector went off so violently while reading this I thought it was on the fritz. Specifically this line:

"If I were trying to close down Lost Isle, I'd go straight after their liquor license," Moore said.

Which is a fine excuse except that you can't bleed somebody dry by just pulling their liquor license. Pulling the liquor license is an instant kill. If this were Mortal Kombat Steve "Smokey" Moore's fatality would be pulling the liquor license. But he's not going for the fatality, he's going for the green. No, not the green from the previous item, I'm talking about the root of all evil. The county can't get any money out of Lost Isle if they just shut them down. But if they make them jump through hoops to get those extra special permits that always pop up at the last second, fine them, and make them hire extra security (who, spoiler alert!, are often off-duty cops) then they can make some bank. Sure, not as much bank as they would make selling legalized pot and pot accessories, but still enough to make it worth their while. Plus, they'll get them to throw in a special dock just for making them drive out there to do (guh) their jobs.

Look, drunk people are going to fight. Don't punish Lost Isle because there's stupid people. Any bar on any given night can have that one retarded guy with the slutty friendly girlfriend and if she does the wrong thing while dude's got one too many drinks in him, shit's going down. If there's a UFC PPV on, the chances of this happening increases roughly 8000%. Sure, a guy died last year. But hey, Bogey's is still open. I guess what I'm saying is that while security proportionate to the crowd is important, don't ruin everybody's fun because some people are dicks and you're pissed you have to actually work and feel like applying a little political pressure.

And now let's see what Don Blount sa...aww, man. (Still cool though)

Words can't express how disappointed we were when we opened today's paper and saw Michael McCollum's column on photography lighting. Don't get me wrong, ever since I got that digital camera for my birthday I've been taking pictures like I'm some sort of teenage girl going through that artsy phtograpjhy stage (no picture of myself in the morror, yet) , so the lighting lesson was pretty interesting. But, I hate to admit it, but I've grown to anticipate the musings of noted wordsmith Don Blount every week. Sure, sometimes it's boring but sometimes he gives us gems like this:

"However, let's put some other words to Stockton.

Words like: theater, symphony and opera."

I could go on but lists are really more Mike Klocke's thing. But with lofty writing like that, you can't help but anticipate the prose that graces the A2 section only once a week. But hey, cool pictures work too.

Only Fitzy Can Miss the Point so Badly to Make us Argue Against Marijuana Legalization

Since pushing for the legalization of the demon weed last week Mike Fitzgerald's blog has apparently turned into his own version of "High Times". I guess when Schwarzenegger said now was the time to debate its legalization Fitzy decided that debate would happen on his blog. Which is both very pro-active and very un-stoner like of him.

One post in particular stood out, naturally it's the one where Fitzy puts his ignorance on full display.

A reader e-mailed him coming out against legalization, not because he's a party pooper, but because the man would totally keep the quality of that shit down through their regulations and stuff man! And while that's an interesting concept about one possible outcome of ending the reefer madness (even though I think, if anything, quality would probably increase because it's not like the government would grow it themselves), Fitzy's firm in his belief that quality Mary Jane is an acceptable sacrifice to stop the Mexican Tony Soprano (a term I wish I was making up).

So, because we can, here's the flaws in Fitzy's rebuttal. For one, this is Cali-motherfucking-fornia. And on top of that, it's Northern California. I don't know where or when Fitzy bought his last sack, but nobody smokes that shitty, Mexican dirt weed here. Nobody's smoked that shit since like the 70s. All the grass floating around here is from the Bay Area/Mendocino County, where, as the reader states, they got their shit down. Those "narco-states" that Fitzy finds so menacing realized long ago that they can't compete with the hippies and have moved onto, you know, actual narcotics (hence the term "narco-state").

It's actually kind of funny that Fitz invokes the name of Tony Soprano (mostly because combined with the Godfather and Scarface, that seems to be all he knows about the mafia lifestyle, so it must apply to the Mexicans too, right?), because if he just watched that show a little bit closely he'd see where the real problem(s) with his entire theory lies. For one, the big drug problem isn't pot, it's pretty much everything else harder than pot. Meth, Coke, Heroin, all over the fucking place. How he didn't realize this while talking to those homeless people I'll never know. When homeslice said that most homeless people were just looking for their next high, he sure as shit wasn't talking about some Medocino Greeno.

But let's imagine for a second that the big illegal drug trafficking racket was pot. Would legalizing it stop that at all? Just because it's legal doesn't mean people still won't try and sell it tax-free illegally. You can buy bootleg DVDs at the flea market for fuck's sake. Legalizing something is not a deterrent for illicit sales, if anything they'd benefit because without having to give their slice to the government, they'd have cheaper prices than in the stores. So not only would it not stop these theoretical pot cartels, but the government would still have to crack down on the illegal sales of bootleg weed. So the theory that legalization would save millions on enforcement is short sighted at best.

But let's pretend (yes, pretending within imagining. Just roll with it), that somehow these cartels can't take the heat from the legal competition and give up selling the reefer. Guess what? They're not going away. No, they spent too much time networking and setting up a system and paying guys to go to America and set up the operation. There's too much money invested to pack it up and go home, so they start selling the harder, illegal drugs (you know, the one's they're actually selling in the real world right now).

So even if we did live in Mike Fitzgerald's mythical wonderland where the Tijuana Cartel (which is a fucking ridiculous name, they're the Arellano-Felix Organization and they're fucking everywhere, not just TJ.) is just hucking pot and killing anybody who stands in their way, his solution just ends up where we are now, with the pushers pushing harder drugs.

Look, we're all for the legalization of pot and we're all for the getting the debate started (obviously since we're engaging the debate), but like we said last week the reason all those prohibitionists are so willing to dismiss Fitzy's arguments for legalization is because he's presenting flawed, weak arguments. Legalizing pot isn't going to neuter organized crime just like the end of alcohol prohibition didn't. They're a business with a sophisticated network, they'll just do what other businesses do when someone eats of their market share. They'll adapt and find new markets to dominate. If they just went away, well then they wouldn't be the tough, scary sons of bitches Mike Fitzgerald says they are.

Quick Links for April 16th

So, Quick Links? Ok, yeah, Quick Links.

What's my favorite word?

So early this morning (ok, around 7, but that's early for me), I got this misleading text message from El Duke that read "Lori Gilbert + rap = comedy gold". Of course, I ran to my computer hoping to see our favorite mature fetishist making a star turn as Queen Laqueefah and was slightly disappointed when that didn't happen. Luckily my disappointment quickly disappeared once I read the headline to her latest article, "Poets slam together rap form, gender issues". Yes, my disappointment was replaced by complete and utter confusion. Poetry AND rap form? Isn't that just called hip-hop? And it's at that point I realized Lori Gilbert was going to be writing about gender issues (a subject in which she doesn't exactly have the best track record) and rap music, which is fitting considering she's probably the only writer less equipped than Tony "Dino" Sauro to write about that subject (and it shows as she pretty much abandons that topic 3 paragraphs in). In other words, this was going to be hilarious.

And it was. It didn't even take 3 paragraphs to elicit a chuckle from me. Mostly this passage:

"The broad view of rap is that it's misogynistic..."

Which is almost immediately followed by this:

"'I never heard that thing about rap,' said Gesine Gerhard, director of Pacific's gender studies program."

It's always nice when an expert in gender studies contradicts your misogyny allegations in their very first quote. Look, we're not saying there aren't misogynistic rap lyrics (after all, the answer to the name of the Too Short song about is "bitch" or more phonetically "beee-yatch!"), but to say that the broad view of rap is that is misogynistic is misleading at best. That's the view old white people have of rap. Mostly because they've listened to one, maybe two rap songs in their entire lives. They don't understand hip hop culture.

But then we get into the discussion about the differences between hip hop and rap (and there is a difference), and that takes us wayyyyy off topic. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that rap really isn't any more misogynistic than any other form of music. Like any form of music it's representative of its culture. And while we as a culture have made great strides in terms of equality, those issues are still there. We're not saying rappers who have derogatory lyrics about women are all socially conscious and trying to bring inequality to the forefront, we're just saying they're representing a part of our culture regardless of how ignorant it is.

Rap has always reflected culture, and a lot of the time it's a part of culture we're not particularly proud of. There's the racial/political issues tackled in the 80s by Public Enemy. Or there's Ice T's "Cop Killer" in which he unleashes his pent up rage at the police for multitude of reasons by cathartically shouting "Fuck the police!" Rap, hip-hop, whatever the fuck you want to call it, is fucking raw. Which is something we may have forgotten recently amongst the overproduced bullshit unleashed upon us by noted gay fish Kanye West.

The worst part about that entire rap rant I just went on? It has nothing to do with the rest of that article because it's actually about a fucking poetry slam, which besides being similar lyrically, has absolutely nothing to do with rap. So why was rap even brought up in this article? Because somebody wanted to make a comment about gender roles in what is otherwise a straight forward article previewing a poetry slam. In other words, Lori Gilbert threw in unresearched bullshit and straight up stated her opinion in an article. Which I hear may be against a main point of journalism or something. Told you she had a poor track record writing about gender issues. But hey, at least you can treat this as the piece on rap and gender issues that the headline of that article teased but didn't follow through with.

Lodi taking progressive steps towards medical pot use? Did I step into the Twilight Zone or something?

So, let me get this straight, because there are no local zoning laws regarding medical marijuana dispensaries, that gives the Lodi City Council the right to impose a moratorium on them for up to 2 years to decide create those zoning laws? Lodi doesn't have pharmacies? Or medical supply stores? Bullshit. Half that town is fucking assisted living communities. They're just scared of what might happen based on archaic views of pot being a "gateway drug" and based on what one dumbass did in Modesto (long story short, he got greedy).

And judging by the report from Lodi Police Chief David Main, they'll be citing the fuck ups more than the people who genuinely need medical marijuana and have to drive to fucking Sacramento to do so. So we're not in the Twilight Zone after all. It's just another day of typical conservative Lodi bullshit.

Using this doll, point to where this woman touched you. Even though we have absolutely no information to indicate that she may have

In what can only be described as a throwback to the initial search for Cantu's body, the Tracy police department is once again admitting that they don't know shit and are now asking the community through the newspaper if they were also "inappropriately contacted" by Melissa Huckaby. Because crowd sourcing the investigation totally worked during the search for Cantu's body. So in 2 weeks look out for some immigrant workers who will come forward and say they found three girls who admitted to being touched by Huckaby (presumably via erotic shoulder rub). God, why won't this story end? Oh hey, what's this? Sandra who?