Just a quick reminder that tomorrow is the last day for this URL, we're over at WordPress now. So update your bookmarks (all 12 of you) for reclaimingthetitle.wordpress.com.
Sorry for the missed day yesterday, we've been busy with our real jobs. That's not to say we haven't been working on the site, we have, we just haven't completed anything yet. The first half of El Duke's Pub Crawl rundown is fucking gold, hopefully that'll show up later this week. But until then, let's knock out some Quick Links for this...really? It's Thursday already? Bad fucking ass. Let's do the damn thing and anticipate Sexy Friday.
Enough is enough Dino Sauro
Look, we get that people have different musical tastes than us. We get that Dave Brubeck was a fairly influential jazz musician. We get that Tony Sauro likes jazz, but for fuck's sake, the deification of Dave Brubeck has to fucking end. It's not that we don't like his music. We're not the biggest jazz fans in the world but we can appreciate what he did and "Time Out" isn't too bad of an album. But for the love of Christ quit making him out like he gave a virgin birth to Miles Davis.
We understand why it happens, people are passionate about things and tend to write about their passion. We love Stockton, sports (although, ironically, not Stockton sports), drinking, and journalism so we write about that shit. Tony's very passionate about jazz, so passionate that when you Google "Sauro Brubeck" on the Record's site you get 228 results, a alarming number of which aren't repeats.
Now, we're not faulting Tony for his volumes of writing about UOP's most famous graduate. Hell, if I could write 200+ columns on getting shitfaced I would. The problem we have is his glowing, almost masturbatory praise for anything the man touches. His columns are as if he pops a Viagra, flips on "Take Five", and starts punching the porpoise only, you know, in written form (apologies for any mental images derrived from that analogy).
Again, we're not saying Brubeck isn't a good jazz musician, it's just that the praise for him should only go so far. It's not like he's this big jazz titan that all hipsters (the original hipsters with the turtlenecks, berets, and fingersnapping. Not the Weezer-glasses variety) bow down to. Even the most dedicated local jazz fan has to admit that they probably wouldn't have known about Brubeck if not for the way Stockton and UOP shove him down our throats every spring.
I guess the point of this rant is that while we understand Dave Brubeck is an importantish figure in jazz and an important figure locally, but we have to keep it in perspective. Not every article/column about jazz merits a Brubeck mention. And if it does, remember he's just some dude who went to school here and not...ummm...shit, I'm out of super popular jazz musicians to liken him to. Yes, I only know one jazz musician. What of it?
How the weren't we consulted for this?
So the Record did a feature on recession drinking, which was a great idea when we did it months ago. But, being the Record, they had to take a good idea and fuck it all up. Sure, the piece was informative, but who wants to hear about the drink specials at Paragary's? I don't want to spoil Duke's Pub Crawl run down but fuck Paragary's. If you show up for happy hour there's a chance they'll run out of alcohol. And Le Bistro? Really? Did they discount drinks so it only costs you and arm instead of an arm and a leg? Fucking Applebee's!!!!???
Although my favorite featured special is the Matinee's. $4 tall cans. That's right, four bucks for a tallski (of domestic!) at what's allegedly a martini bar. Or you can buy 2 tall boys for the low low price of $7. Or if you're smart, you'll run around the corner to the Hi and Bye and grab a tall can of Coors Light for two bucks.
So, since the gauntlet has been thrown down, allow us to come back with out suggestions for the real good drink specials out there for those looking for some cheap, drunken fun. For one, if you're going to drink downtown nothing beats the dollar pints on Friday nights at Beach Hut Deli. The atmosphere is laid back and they usually have a pretty good acoustic band playing in the corner. And if you really want to throw down you have to check out Beer Pong Thursdays. Sure, the competition's a little thin with all the college kids out of town, but just consider this a training period for when they come back in the fall. Nothing damages their frail egos quite like getting schooled by a townie in a game invented by college kids.
If beer's not your thing then we highly suggest hitting up the happy hour at BWDW Fat's Bar and Grill. It runs all the way 'til 8 and you get $5 Long Islands $5 Jagerbombs and other assorted stiff drinks. But don't worry, it's not some sort of alcoholic haven, Tuesdays are actually family night and parents are encouraged to bring the kids to belt out some kid friendly karaoke tunes while Pops gets sloshed on drop shots. And, as the bonus, the family shit ends at 9 and then the hardcore drinking begins with $2 well drinks (although sadly this is only for Tuesday). Like all well drinks. Which, let's face it, is pretty bad ass. And is also why most of my sick days fall on Wednesdays.
Although if you're really intrigued by the prospect of drinking canned beer in a bar, you should head on over east of 99 to Morada landmark Koe's for their Budget Thursday specials. For only $1.50 you can enjoy a 12 oz. can of Pabst, Hamm's, or Olympia. Haven't heard of those last two beers? Go open your grandpa's garage fridge, there's a 50% chance that thing is packed with them.
So there's a couple bars that have excellent happy hours that are actually cheap. And we even included on that involves the family! Plus, we didn't even have to bust out El Torito's legendary happy hour pricing (half off appetizers and specials on margaritas from 4-8. Not to mention Tacos Tuesdays).
Showing posts with label quick links. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quick links. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Quick Links for May 19th
Sorry if we seem a bit distracted today. It's a somewhat extremely important day. It's the day some old Jew opens a bunch of envelopes containing the results of a marathon ping-pong ball selection session. Yup, it's NBA Draft Lottery day and our beloved Kings have the best chance (25%) of getting the first pick. Which means we're probably getting the 4th pick. Hell, I wouldn't be shocked if we somehow got the 5th pick. So to say our minds are elsewhere would be an understatement. Text messages between all of us were exchanged before 7:30, which is incredibly early for all of us.
What does all of this mean for you? Well, if the Kings don't get a top 2 pick and you see a depressed Kings fan sulking in his Kings jersey, Kings, hat, and purple shoes, don't make fun of them. There's a very good chance they will stab you in the neck with the nearest sharp object. So, you know, Raider game rules.
But until then Quick Links!
Oh yeah, something else is going on today
It's Special Election day! Which means we get to recall Governor Schwa...wait, what? It's just a bunch of budgetary ballot measures? Fuck that. I'm not voting and getting my hopes up for the future of my favorite sports team. That's just too much in one day. And the voting would get in the way of my pre-draft lottery drinking.
But for you non-alcoholics, check out that link from the Tahoe paper about the ballot measures. And then I'll laugh at you tomorrow for wasting your time voting for measures that have no chance of passing because they're not a charismatic black man. You know, assuming I'm not already in prison for stabbing a Laker fan after we get the 4th pick.
"Now, what do you mean when you say 'We'd have to lay off more city workers'?"
We understand the budget situation can get a bit contentious, but does Dale Fritchen really need to ask what the backup plan is if we don't get the aid that Gordon Palmer's proposed budget is dependant on? David Siders said it himself, Plan B is no secret. It's fucking layoffs. But when you're in negotiation with labor unions, like Palmer is with the city's firefighters union (and presumably the SPOA if they weren't such dumbasses), you try and avoid saying the word "layoffs" at all costs. Kind of like how if you're trying to sell some bonds you don't even think the word "bankruptcy", let alone say it. If anybody should have learned that lesson it's Dale freaking Fritchen. Political grandstanding to gain favor with city employees is fine and all, only those city employees probably won't be employed the next (and first) time Fritchen's up for reelection. So it really just makes him look like even more of a dumbass. Which I didn't know was possible.
And now for a dose of sacrelige
We're not too big on furthering David Stern's God complex by actually praying to him, but we could probably use all the help we could get. Sure, we could pray to that Jesus guy. But he never comes through for me (although I still hold out hope that one day one of my roommates will magically transform into Katie Morgan). Plus, David Stern has a much better track record with influencing draft lottery results.
(Plays "Taps" on kazoo)
It's a sad day folks. It's the last day for Craigslist's Erotic Sevices ads before they switch over to the totally prostituteless "Adult Services" section for good (by the way, did I see the Royal Day Spa in there?). Many drunken nights have been spent trolling the Erotic section of Stockton's Craigslist afterone of us sombody shouts "Fuck it! Let's get a whore!" Only to quickly realize we're all you're pussies and don't feel like catching HPV. Plus who can find 100 roses on such short notice?
So we bid you adieu Erotic Services, trying to decipher the sluts from the hookers (You're a hooker!) on the Casual Encounters page will never be the same again. And neither will my cock after that happy ending. I wonder if there's a novena for genital warts.
Ok, that's it from us today. El Duke promised me he'd be around tomorrow with a lottery result reaction which should be epic either way. Our big announcement is coming soon, we're just working out a few more kinks and we'll be good.
What does all of this mean for you? Well, if the Kings don't get a top 2 pick and you see a depressed Kings fan sulking in his Kings jersey, Kings, hat, and purple shoes, don't make fun of them. There's a very good chance they will stab you in the neck with the nearest sharp object. So, you know, Raider game rules.
But until then Quick Links!
Oh yeah, something else is going on today
It's Special Election day! Which means we get to recall Governor Schwa...wait, what? It's just a bunch of budgetary ballot measures? Fuck that. I'm not voting and getting my hopes up for the future of my favorite sports team. That's just too much in one day. And the voting would get in the way of my pre-draft lottery drinking.
But for you non-alcoholics, check out that link from the Tahoe paper about the ballot measures. And then I'll laugh at you tomorrow for wasting your time voting for measures that have no chance of passing because they're not a charismatic black man. You know, assuming I'm not already in prison for stabbing a Laker fan after we get the 4th pick.
"Now, what do you mean when you say 'We'd have to lay off more city workers'?"
We understand the budget situation can get a bit contentious, but does Dale Fritchen really need to ask what the backup plan is if we don't get the aid that Gordon Palmer's proposed budget is dependant on? David Siders said it himself, Plan B is no secret. It's fucking layoffs. But when you're in negotiation with labor unions, like Palmer is with the city's firefighters union (and presumably the SPOA if they weren't such dumbasses), you try and avoid saying the word "layoffs" at all costs. Kind of like how if you're trying to sell some bonds you don't even think the word "bankruptcy", let alone say it. If anybody should have learned that lesson it's Dale freaking Fritchen. Political grandstanding to gain favor with city employees is fine and all, only those city employees probably won't be employed the next (and first) time Fritchen's up for reelection. So it really just makes him look like even more of a dumbass. Which I didn't know was possible.
And now for a dose of sacrelige
We're not too big on furthering David Stern's God complex by actually praying to him, but we could probably use all the help we could get. Sure, we could pray to that Jesus guy. But he never comes through for me (although I still hold out hope that one day one of my roommates will magically transform into Katie Morgan). Plus, David Stern has a much better track record with influencing draft lottery results.
(Plays "Taps" on kazoo)
It's a sad day folks. It's the last day for Craigslist's Erotic Sevices ads before they switch over to the totally prostituteless "Adult Services" section for good (by the way, did I see the Royal Day Spa in there?). Many drunken nights have been spent trolling the Erotic section of Stockton's Craigslist after
So we bid you adieu Erotic Services, trying to decipher the sluts from the hookers (You're a hooker!) on the Casual Encounters page will never be the same again. And neither will my cock after that happy ending. I wonder if there's a novena for genital warts.
Ok, that's it from us today. El Duke promised me he'd be around tomorrow with a lottery result reaction which should be epic either way. Our big announcement is coming soon, we're just working out a few more kinks and we'll be good.
Monday, May 18, 2009
Quick Links for May 18th
Jesus tapdancing Christ it's hot. Welcome back summer. Luckily summer also brings us women wearing little-to-no clothing so I say bring it on sun! Sorry we're so late today, things have been busy behind the scenes here. We're on the verge of a fairly big announcement but I don't want to tip my hand quite yet. Just know it'll happen sometime this week. But until then Quick Links!
So much for the government harshing our mellow
Last week Mike Fitzgerald was in the middle of getting his Peter Tosh on, he blogged a reader's e-mail about worries that the government's weed would totally suck. Fitzy's argument was that it was better than the alternative, Mexican Tony Soprano weed. And he was right, government weed would be a great alternative to Mexican ganj. Not because of violence, but because Mexican weed sucks, and the feds a hoarding some straight up kill. So yeah, even when he's right, Fitz is still hilariously wrong.
Hey, speaking of The Man, fuck you Steve Moore
Before we get started we'd like to note that this never would have happened if Baxter Dunn were still alive (note: that's a joke, I'm pretty sure he's still with us). That being said, my bulshit detector went off so violently while reading this I thought it was on the fritz. Specifically this line:
Which is a fine excuse except that you can't bleed somebody dry by just pulling their liquor license. Pulling the liquor license is an instant kill. If this were Mortal Kombat Steve "Smokey" Moore's fatality would be pulling the liquor license. But he's not going for the fatality, he's going for the green. No, not the green from the previous item, I'm talking about the root of all evil. The county can't get any money out of Lost Isle if they just shut them down. But if they make them jump through hoops to get those extra special permits that always pop up at the last second, fine them, and make them hire extra security (who, spoiler alert!, are often off-duty cops) then they can make some bank. Sure, not as much bank as they would make selling legalized pot and pot accessories, but still enough to make it worth their while. Plus, they'll get them to throw in a special dock just for making them drive out there to do (guh) their jobs.
Look, drunk people are going to fight. Don't punish Lost Isle because there's stupid people. Any bar on any given night can have that one retarded guy with theslutty friendly girlfriend and if she does the wrong thing while dude's got one too many drinks in him, shit's going down. If there's a UFC PPV on, the chances of this happening increases roughly 8000%. Sure, a guy died last year. But hey, Bogey's is still open. I guess what I'm saying is that while security proportionate to the crowd is important, don't ruin everybody's fun because some people are dicks and you're pissed you have to actually work and feel like applying a little political pressure.
And now let's see what Don Blount sa...aww, man. (Still cool though)
Words can't express how disappointed we were when we opened today's paper and saw Michael McCollum's column on photography lighting. Don't get me wrong, ever since I got that digital camera for my birthday I've been taking pictures like I'm some sort of teenage girl going through that artsy phtograpjhy stage (no picture of myself in the morror, yet) , so the lighting lesson was pretty interesting. But, I hate to admit it, but I've grown to anticipate the musings of noted wordsmith Don Blount every week. Sure, sometimes it's boring but sometimes he gives us gems like this:
So much for the government harshing our mellow
Last week Mike Fitzgerald was in the middle of getting his Peter Tosh on, he blogged a reader's e-mail about worries that the government's weed would totally suck. Fitzy's argument was that it was better than the alternative, Mexican Tony Soprano weed. And he was right, government weed would be a great alternative to Mexican ganj. Not because of violence, but because Mexican weed sucks, and the feds a hoarding some straight up kill. So yeah, even when he's right, Fitz is still hilariously wrong.
Hey, speaking of The Man, fuck you Steve Moore
Before we get started we'd like to note that this never would have happened if Baxter Dunn were still alive (note: that's a joke, I'm pretty sure he's still with us). That being said, my bulshit detector went off so violently while reading this I thought it was on the fritz. Specifically this line:
"If I were trying to close down Lost Isle, I'd go straight after their liquor license," Moore said.
Which is a fine excuse except that you can't bleed somebody dry by just pulling their liquor license. Pulling the liquor license is an instant kill. If this were Mortal Kombat Steve "Smokey" Moore's fatality would be pulling the liquor license. But he's not going for the fatality, he's going for the green. No, not the green from the previous item, I'm talking about the root of all evil. The county can't get any money out of Lost Isle if they just shut them down. But if they make them jump through hoops to get those extra special permits that always pop up at the last second, fine them, and make them hire extra security (who, spoiler alert!, are often off-duty cops) then they can make some bank. Sure, not as much bank as they would make selling legalized pot and pot accessories, but still enough to make it worth their while. Plus, they'll get them to throw in a special dock just for making them drive out there to do (guh) their jobs.
Look, drunk people are going to fight. Don't punish Lost Isle because there's stupid people. Any bar on any given night can have that one retarded guy with the
And now let's see what Don Blount sa...aww, man. (Still cool though)
Words can't express how disappointed we were when we opened today's paper and saw Michael McCollum's column on photography lighting. Don't get me wrong, ever since I got that digital camera for my birthday I've been taking pictures like I'm some sort of teenage girl going through that artsy phtograpjhy stage (no picture of myself in the morror, yet) , so the lighting lesson was pretty interesting. But, I hate to admit it, but I've grown to anticipate the musings of noted wordsmith Don Blount every week. Sure, sometimes it's boring but sometimes he gives us gems like this:
"However, let's put some other words to Stockton.Words like: theater, symphony and opera."
I could go on but lists are really more Mike Klocke's thing. But with lofty writing like that, you can't help but anticipate the prose that graces the A2 section only once a week. But hey, cool pictures work too.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Quick Links for May 6th
Ah Wednesday...wait, it's Wednesday right? I was down shots of tequila and smoking a rare pack of cigarettes in honor of Cinco de Mayo yesterday so my mind's kinda fuzzy today. But I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday, wouldn't mind it being Thursday (or Friday), but it's been a painfully slow news week so I'm no...oh shit! Enough chit chat, Quick Links time!
Cue the training montage!
Wooo! Violent crime stats came out! Sure, if you're a new reader that may not be news to you, but the "Title" part of Reclaiming the Title is specifically the violent crime rate title we lost to Oakland. Sure, we want Stockton to have all titles and be the most decorated champion in the history of cities, but the violent crime rate title is the brass ring.
So how'd we do? Well, the actual violent crime rate won't be determined until later (probably next month) when 2008 population estimates come out, but the preliminary numbers are encouraging. Despite the lowest number of homicides since 1976, the number of violent crimes rose by 2.5%. The culprit? Aggravated assaults. From the linked article:
"'You can see the increase in aggravated assaults; that's really driving it,' said Officer Pete Smith, a Stockton Police Department spokesman."
See, we're totally a fight town.
No word on how Oakland did this year, so let's just hope that a bunch of people moved from Stockton to Oakland to inflate our rate while simultaneously deflating the O's.
Is there some "one vice at a time" law we're unaware of? (4th item down)
We're not going to pretend to understand permit law, but what the fuck does bong sales have to do with someone's ability to legally sell alcohol? Especially in Califuckingfornia. Technically they're for smoking tobacco, dude can't control it if people misuse his products. Other places are allowed to sell blunt wraps and booze and nobody uses those wraps for tobacco. I damn sure don't know anybody who uses piña colada wraps with their Buglers. But selling bongs is crossing a line? Technically they're healthier for you.
We're also massively disappointed with Susan Eggman for insinuating that people loitering out front and a cashier playing cards has any affect on alcohol sales. So what if it's close to a school? To buy any of that shit you gotta be 18 anyways. So how does that affect the kids? It's not like he's selling fucking pot. That's what Victory Park is for.
It is nice to see somebody's still selling looseys though.
Oh, and congratulations on reaching 1000 posts Mr. Siders. Not only is that a shitload of posts, but they were also 1000 times better than anything Fitzy's thrown up on his blog.
As if I wasn't having a hard enough time figuring out what day of the week it is already
Mike Fitzgerald's massive workload of 3 columns a week has been lightened to 2 apparently as Mike Klocke took on the Wednesday columnist duties and for once didn't have to announce changes to the paper. Instead he advocated the need for a more secure courthouse. Which is hilarious because, you know, one's on the way already. That's like us saying the city should layoff police officers to balance the budget. But hey, gotta write about something. So why not argue that the courtroom is dangerous because of one isolated incident involving a crazy meth head?
Of course, one incident isn't enough to be a trend so he included the dubious example of Brian Payne shouting out conspiracy theories. Because, you know, crazy handcuffed cokeheads shouting is totally dangerous.
Look, we understand the courthouse has the potential for danger, but let's face it, everywhere has that potential. And throwing money at a place for temporary upgrades sounds great but, I don't know if you've noticed, there isn't any fucking money. Yes, courthouse security is underfunded, but so is 99% of Stockton (That 1% being downtown Stockton). So yes, we recognize you need money, get in line behind the cops, firefighters, tree trimmers, and pretty much everybody else with outdated shit. Considering the courthouses needs are actually going to be met, forgive us if we really could care less about this "potential powder keg of disaster."
Cue the training montage!
Wooo! Violent crime stats came out! Sure, if you're a new reader that may not be news to you, but the "Title" part of Reclaiming the Title is specifically the violent crime rate title we lost to Oakland. Sure, we want Stockton to have all titles and be the most decorated champion in the history of cities, but the violent crime rate title is the brass ring.
So how'd we do? Well, the actual violent crime rate won't be determined until later (probably next month) when 2008 population estimates come out, but the preliminary numbers are encouraging. Despite the lowest number of homicides since 1976, the number of violent crimes rose by 2.5%. The culprit? Aggravated assaults. From the linked article:
"'You can see the increase in aggravated assaults; that's really driving it,' said Officer Pete Smith, a Stockton Police Department spokesman."
See, we're totally a fight town.
No word on how Oakland did this year, so let's just hope that a bunch of people moved from Stockton to Oakland to inflate our rate while simultaneously deflating the O's.
Is there some "one vice at a time" law we're unaware of? (4th item down)
We're not going to pretend to understand permit law, but what the fuck does bong sales have to do with someone's ability to legally sell alcohol? Especially in Califuckingfornia. Technically they're for smoking tobacco, dude can't control it if people misuse his products. Other places are allowed to sell blunt wraps and booze and nobody uses those wraps for tobacco. I damn sure don't know anybody who uses piña colada wraps with their Buglers. But selling bongs is crossing a line? Technically they're healthier for you.
We're also massively disappointed with Susan Eggman for insinuating that people loitering out front and a cashier playing cards has any affect on alcohol sales. So what if it's close to a school? To buy any of that shit you gotta be 18 anyways. So how does that affect the kids? It's not like he's selling fucking pot. That's what Victory Park is for.
It is nice to see somebody's still selling looseys though.
Oh, and congratulations on reaching 1000 posts Mr. Siders. Not only is that a shitload of posts, but they were also 1000 times better than anything Fitzy's thrown up on his blog.
As if I wasn't having a hard enough time figuring out what day of the week it is already
Mike Fitzgerald's massive workload of 3 columns a week has been lightened to 2 apparently as Mike Klocke took on the Wednesday columnist duties and for once didn't have to announce changes to the paper. Instead he advocated the need for a more secure courthouse. Which is hilarious because, you know, one's on the way already. That's like us saying the city should layoff police officers to balance the budget. But hey, gotta write about something. So why not argue that the courtroom is dangerous because of one isolated incident involving a crazy meth head?
Of course, one incident isn't enough to be a trend so he included the dubious example of Brian Payne shouting out conspiracy theories. Because, you know, crazy handcuffed cokeheads shouting is totally dangerous.
Look, we understand the courthouse has the potential for danger, but let's face it, everywhere has that potential. And throwing money at a place for temporary upgrades sounds great but, I don't know if you've noticed, there isn't any fucking money. Yes, courthouse security is underfunded, but so is 99% of Stockton (That 1% being downtown Stockton). So yes, we recognize you need money, get in line behind the cops, firefighters, tree trimmers, and pretty much everybody else with outdated shit. Considering the courthouses needs are actually going to be met, forgive us if we really could care less about this "potential powder keg of disaster."
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Quick Links for April 30th
Sorry about the impromptu day off. BlogSpot/Blogger changed a few things with their site that hinders our regular posting ability. We're back for today, so let's knock out some Quick Links! While I contemplate a switch to WordPress.
Somewhere, Alan Pettet is channeling his inner Mr. Burns and letting out an "Exxxcellent"
So it's April 30th, which means it's the City Council's self-imposed soft deadline to have a deal in place with the Stockton Police Officers Association so they can get their budget in on time. So naturally there's still no deal in place and labor talks have ended. And, as with any milestone in this debacle, the number of planned layoffs has jumped again! This time it's jumped up 9 more officers bringing the grand total of the most optimistic budget plan to 52. The city is presumably waiting until those 9 cops have knocked up their wives or at a loved one's funeral (or in the hospital after injuring themselves disposing of that dangerous looking bag of lawn clippings) before dropping off layoff notices in their mailboxes. Of course, that number will shrink once the city offers retirement incentives to some of the older cops who have higher seniority and the resulting higher paychecks. So really, even though we're just a month away from the hard budget deadline, we're still playing the same posturing game we were playing 6 months ago. Now that's progress.
Fuck, it's always something with Tracy
Well, that Swine Flu pandemic that's claimed one whole life in the US (Note: it could be more by now, but well, I don't care) has finally (maybe) hit SJ County. Where? Tracy of course. Was there really any doubt? God's latest dumping ground takes another hit, and just as they gained a false sense of security after the Cantu case! We assume Tracy resident and one time fill-in poster BaconBabe is devastated by this news. Mostly because she hates media overkill as much as we do. Not to mention everybody hates uppity parents bitching about the safety of their children. Hey, speaking of...
This all makes a lot more sense when you realized the SUSD board of trustees is actually the student government
Ok, well at least they're acting like they have the maturity level of the students they have power over. We'd tackle each of these stories individually but frankly, we don't care. We don't have kids and it looks like all of this is just petty, political posturing. There's the guy (Anthony Silva) who's bitter that he lost reelection by one vote, and he just happened to show up the day another guy presents his case to recall the trustee that beat him out. Yeah, Silva's not bitter/petty at all. Then there's other board members bitching about one guy's vote on a seven person board, which makes total sense. And then there's my favorite story, "Tony Amato shouldn't use the rarely used district SUV that he pays the lease for, so let's pick up the tab for that and pay Amato $650 more a month." Confused? Yeah, so was the dumb broad who brought it up, now the district's out another $7,600 plus $650 a month to Amato. But it's ok, it's not like we're in a recession or anything. It's not like retarded populist sentiment is to crucify any sort of avoidable, non-essential spending, even with private money.
How do you know when your article/column is biased?
When the subject calls you to thank you for its fairness and accuracy when it was anything but fair and accurate. Apparently Randy does great business when the biggest festival of the year is in town, imagine that. He also has 3 potential buyers going through the motions with his broker. So soon, affordable food will be available in that space. But until then, you can continue paying twice the price for half the food! But really, this is all about some petty subsidy boycott. Not affordability, at all.
We're #19! We're #19!
In what can only be described as the most obvious example of link-baiting this side of Politico (a practice we encourage by the way), Christian Burkin has complied 2007's violent crime stats into national rankings in a response to Forbes' most recent list declaring us the 5th most dangerous metropolitan statistical area.
He used the crime stats for actual cities as opposed to the previously mentioned MSAs and lowered the population threshold for list inclusion to 100,000. Basically he used the stats and rules normally used when violent crime rates rankings are made instead of Forbes' lazy way of doing things. The result? Well, Detroit's not even the most dangerous city in it's state. Flint, Mich. beats by a whole extra violent crime per 1,000 people. Oakland is actually 5th behind those 2, St. Louis, and Memphis. And Stockton ranks a low, but still impressive 19th (take that Buffalo!).
Suspicious by their absence is Las Vegas, which is kind of funny considering there's not really a metropolitan area around Vegas, just more desert. But hey, math was never our strong suit so we'll trust CB on this one. But we may have to rethink our wager with Sin City now.
Somewhere, Alan Pettet is channeling his inner Mr. Burns and letting out an "Exxxcellent"
So it's April 30th, which means it's the City Council's self-imposed soft deadline to have a deal in place with the Stockton Police Officers Association so they can get their budget in on time. So naturally there's still no deal in place and labor talks have ended. And, as with any milestone in this debacle, the number of planned layoffs has jumped again! This time it's jumped up 9 more officers bringing the grand total of the most optimistic budget plan to 52. The city is presumably waiting until those 9 cops have knocked up their wives or at a loved one's funeral (or in the hospital after injuring themselves disposing of that dangerous looking bag of lawn clippings) before dropping off layoff notices in their mailboxes. Of course, that number will shrink once the city offers retirement incentives to some of the older cops who have higher seniority and the resulting higher paychecks. So really, even though we're just a month away from the hard budget deadline, we're still playing the same posturing game we were playing 6 months ago. Now that's progress.
Fuck, it's always something with Tracy
Well, that Swine Flu pandemic that's claimed one whole life in the US (Note: it could be more by now, but well, I don't care) has finally (maybe) hit SJ County. Where? Tracy of course. Was there really any doubt? God's latest dumping ground takes another hit, and just as they gained a false sense of security after the Cantu case! We assume Tracy resident and one time fill-in poster BaconBabe is devastated by this news. Mostly because she hates media overkill as much as we do. Not to mention everybody hates uppity parents bitching about the safety of their children. Hey, speaking of...
This all makes a lot more sense when you realized the SUSD board of trustees is actually the student government
Ok, well at least they're acting like they have the maturity level of the students they have power over. We'd tackle each of these stories individually but frankly, we don't care. We don't have kids and it looks like all of this is just petty, political posturing. There's the guy (Anthony Silva) who's bitter that he lost reelection by one vote, and he just happened to show up the day another guy presents his case to recall the trustee that beat him out. Yeah, Silva's not bitter/petty at all. Then there's other board members bitching about one guy's vote on a seven person board, which makes total sense. And then there's my favorite story, "Tony Amato shouldn't use the rarely used district SUV that he pays the lease for, so let's pick up the tab for that and pay Amato $650 more a month." Confused? Yeah, so was the dumb broad who brought it up, now the district's out another $7,600 plus $650 a month to Amato. But it's ok, it's not like we're in a recession or anything. It's not like retarded populist sentiment is to crucify any sort of avoidable, non-essential spending, even with private money.
How do you know when your article/column is biased?
When the subject calls you to thank you for its fairness and accuracy when it was anything but fair and accurate. Apparently Randy does great business when the biggest festival of the year is in town, imagine that. He also has 3 potential buyers going through the motions with his broker. So soon, affordable food will be available in that space. But until then, you can continue paying twice the price for half the food! But really, this is all about some petty subsidy boycott. Not affordability, at all.
We're #19! We're #19!
In what can only be described as the most obvious example of link-baiting this side of Politico (a practice we encourage by the way), Christian Burkin has complied 2007's violent crime stats into national rankings in a response to Forbes' most recent list declaring us the 5th most dangerous metropolitan statistical area.
He used the crime stats for actual cities as opposed to the previously mentioned MSAs and lowered the population threshold for list inclusion to 100,000. Basically he used the stats and rules normally used when violent crime rates rankings are made instead of Forbes' lazy way of doing things. The result? Well, Detroit's not even the most dangerous city in it's state. Flint, Mich. beats by a whole extra violent crime per 1,000 people. Oakland is actually 5th behind those 2, St. Louis, and Memphis. And Stockton ranks a low, but still impressive 19th (take that Buffalo!).
Suspicious by their absence is Las Vegas, which is kind of funny considering there's not really a metropolitan area around Vegas, just more desert. But hey, math was never our strong suit so we'll trust CB on this one. But we may have to rethink our wager with Sin City now.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Quick Links for April 27th
Now that I've finished unloading 3 cans of Febreeze into my bathroom to get that asparagus piss smell out of there, let's see if we can knock out some Monday Quick Links!
Oh, so that's how Stockton's population magically surpassed 500,000
Thanks to Christian Burkin's blog we now know how Stockton is considered more dangerous than Oakland even though Oakland has a higher violent crime rate. Long story short, the people who right those Forbes lists are lazy.
Basically, there's more shit around Oakland so they take that into account calling it a "Metropolitan Statistical Area". Because Oakland's in the middle of a bunch of other cities it's numbers get watered down. On our side of the Altamont, we're decidedly more spread out so our MSA is pushed to just a little under 700,000 and just past the 500,000 person threshold needed to make the list. So essentially, it's all Linden's fault.
So not only is the budget fucked now, but it's fucked 20 years from now? Sweet.
We'd be more pissed at this if we understood it, but we're not experts in medical retirement benefits since none of us is currently retired and only one of us enjoys current medical benefits. As far as we can tell, the city hasn't been saving their money for retiree medical benefits so they have to pay as they're billed or something. We basically have the Boost Mobile of retiree medical plans. So the city needs to work on saving some money so in 20 years they'll be able to pay for their own medical insurance instead of having the future/current generation do it...or something. Math's not my strong suit, that's why I got into journalism.
Where's that bottle of whiskey I mentioned earlier?
Sigh. Now that the gag order's in place the Record's got to get more creative with it's Cantu coverage. Now we get stories like "OMG, this judge has emotions!" and the gem of a story linked above. Anybody who's been paying attention has probably heard one of the many rumors flying around this story. The scene of the crime is a trailer park, it's bound to happen. None of them are printable because there's no real way to verify any of them. Although we do find it funny that the one we were able to semi-confirm, that Christian Sinclair is Melissa Huckaby's boyfriend, is the only one we have yet to see in the Record. But the Record can't let little things like fact-checking get in the way of keeping this story alive, so let's take all those little "rumors" and call them "theories"! They're basically the same thing except the second one isn't libel! "Mayyybe she was in the hospital because she swallowed razor blades!" "Mayyybe she's an attention whore!" See, the "Mayyybe" makes it news, not rumormongering. Everybody wins! Except of course for my sanity.
Oh, so that's how Stockton's population magically surpassed 500,000
Thanks to Christian Burkin's blog we now know how Stockton is considered more dangerous than Oakland even though Oakland has a higher violent crime rate. Long story short, the people who right those Forbes lists are lazy.
Basically, there's more shit around Oakland so they take that into account calling it a "Metropolitan Statistical Area". Because Oakland's in the middle of a bunch of other cities it's numbers get watered down. On our side of the Altamont, we're decidedly more spread out so our MSA is pushed to just a little under 700,000 and just past the 500,000 person threshold needed to make the list. So essentially, it's all Linden's fault.
So not only is the budget fucked now, but it's fucked 20 years from now? Sweet.
We'd be more pissed at this if we understood it, but we're not experts in medical retirement benefits since none of us is currently retired and only one of us enjoys current medical benefits. As far as we can tell, the city hasn't been saving their money for retiree medical benefits so they have to pay as they're billed or something. We basically have the Boost Mobile of retiree medical plans. So the city needs to work on saving some money so in 20 years they'll be able to pay for their own medical insurance instead of having the future/current generation do it...or something. Math's not my strong suit, that's why I got into journalism.
Where's that bottle of whiskey I mentioned earlier?
Sigh. Now that the gag order's in place the Record's got to get more creative with it's Cantu coverage. Now we get stories like "OMG, this judge has emotions!" and the gem of a story linked above. Anybody who's been paying attention has probably heard one of the many rumors flying around this story. The scene of the crime is a trailer park, it's bound to happen. None of them are printable because there's no real way to verify any of them. Although we do find it funny that the one we were able to semi-confirm, that Christian Sinclair is Melissa Huckaby's boyfriend, is the only one we have yet to see in the Record. But the Record can't let little things like fact-checking get in the way of keeping this story alive, so let's take all those little "rumors" and call them "theories"! They're basically the same thing except the second one isn't libel! "Mayyybe she was in the hospital because she swallowed razor blades!" "Mayyybe she's an attention whore!" See, the "Mayyybe" makes it news, not rumormongering. Everybody wins! Except of course for my sanity.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Special Dangerous Weekend Quick Links!
Sorry we weren't around yesterday. We were having some technical issues that kept us offline for most of the day. And of course that has to be the one day shit actually happens this week. And a lot of shit happened yesterday. Enough to warrant a weekend post before I head off to watch the World Deep-Fried Asparagus Eating Championships. So here's a special weekend Quick Links!
See, now this is what Nationally Ranked should be about
I'm not sure what Forbes has against us, but they've put us on another one of their lists again. This time they're pimping our street cred by naming us the 5th Most Dangerous City in America. That's right, in the motherfucking nation! We may not be the champs, but we're in the hunt. Plus we're the highest ranked California city. Suck it Oakland!
Of course, like with their flawed miserable cities list, we must take a look at how they came to this conclusion. From the Forbes article:
"To determine our list, we used violent crime statistics from the FBI's latest uniform crime report, issued in 2008." "We evaluated U.S. metropolitan statistical areas ... with more than 500,000 residents."
Oh hey, that's right up our alley. But, wait, the latest crime report was released in the summer of 2008. And that contained 2007's crime stats. So we're basing this off of 2 year old data, even though the new data gets released in the next couple months. Awesome. All though I could have sworn we lost to Oakland that year.
But hey, we did beat out such illustrious suckholes as Philly and Baltimore. So they can't claim to be more hardcore than us. We're dangerous! We were ultimately defeated by worthy foes Las Vegas, Miami, Memphis, and our old friend Detroit. When the new stats come out in a couple months we probably won't be ranked as high, but until then...
We're #5! We're #5!
Now give me your wallet, I'm from Stockton. I'm dangerous.
Ok, so who booked this? And how long can I kiss them before it's considered inappropriate?
Well, this seems like a big summer concert that will appeal to people of all ages. I'm actually fairly shocked at this announcement. I mean, sure it's 3 old dudes, but it's 3 really fucking cool old dudes. And at $70 bucks a ticket and plenty of advance notice to save up for it, hopefully this concert will be well attended. Of course, this being Stockton's first concert at the Ballpark there's always some room for something to get fucked up. Hopefully nobody rushes Willie on stage like at the Morrissey show. Or the David Lee Roth show at the County Fair a few years back. Feel free to rush Bret Michaels though. Although be careful, he sweats pure hepatitis.
So, to summarize quickly. Willie Nelson, Johnny Cougar, and Bob freaking Dylan are making the last stop on their tour in Stockton and it should be awesome. And don't touch Bret Michaels.
And now, the "Asparatus" story...
Ok, so last year when we went to the Asparagus Festival, we took the Asparabus from Delta. It was within walking distance of my apartment and we intended on getting drunk enough to warrant having a bus drive us the 10 minute drive from downtown to my place.
It was your typical bus ride but my favorite part was the promo video they put on the TV screens in the tour bus. On it, one slide that was in heavy rotation (at least I think there were slides, it was a year ago after all. It could have been just one steady ad) advertised that you were on the bus heading to the Stockton "Asparatus" Festival. Yes, the busses rented out buy the Asparagus Festival played a video presumably made by the Asparagus Festival people, and they didn't spell Asparagus correctly.
We ended up telling the bus driver about the typo figuring he had been getting it all day from fellow Asparabussers. Instead he looked kind of surprised, and sure enough on the bus ride back the video was gone. So not only was Asparagus spelled Asparatus on the Asparabus, but nobody noticed until halfway through the second day.
Yes, I'm easily amused. Now somebody get me that tri-tip and asparagus sandwich.
See, now this is what Nationally Ranked should be about
I'm not sure what Forbes has against us, but they've put us on another one of their lists again. This time they're pimping our street cred by naming us the 5th Most Dangerous City in America. That's right, in the motherfucking nation! We may not be the champs, but we're in the hunt. Plus we're the highest ranked California city. Suck it Oakland!
Of course, like with their flawed miserable cities list, we must take a look at how they came to this conclusion. From the Forbes article:
"To determine our list, we used violent crime statistics from the FBI's latest uniform crime report, issued in 2008." "We evaluated U.S. metropolitan statistical areas ... with more than 500,000 residents."
Oh hey, that's right up our alley. But, wait, the latest crime report was released in the summer of 2008. And that contained 2007's crime stats. So we're basing this off of 2 year old data, even though the new data gets released in the next couple months. Awesome. All though I could have sworn we lost to Oakland that year.
But hey, we did beat out such illustrious suckholes as Philly and Baltimore. So they can't claim to be more hardcore than us. We're dangerous! We were ultimately defeated by worthy foes Las Vegas, Miami, Memphis, and our old friend Detroit. When the new stats come out in a couple months we probably won't be ranked as high, but until then...
We're #5! We're #5!
Now give me your wallet, I'm from Stockton. I'm dangerous.
Ok, so who booked this? And how long can I kiss them before it's considered inappropriate?
Well, this seems like a big summer concert that will appeal to people of all ages. I'm actually fairly shocked at this announcement. I mean, sure it's 3 old dudes, but it's 3 really fucking cool old dudes. And at $70 bucks a ticket and plenty of advance notice to save up for it, hopefully this concert will be well attended. Of course, this being Stockton's first concert at the Ballpark there's always some room for something to get fucked up. Hopefully nobody rushes Willie on stage like at the Morrissey show. Or the David Lee Roth show at the County Fair a few years back. Feel free to rush Bret Michaels though. Although be careful, he sweats pure hepatitis.
So, to summarize quickly. Willie Nelson, Johnny Cougar, and Bob freaking Dylan are making the last stop on their tour in Stockton and it should be awesome. And don't touch Bret Michaels.
And now, the "Asparatus" story...
Ok, so last year when we went to the Asparagus Festival, we took the Asparabus from Delta. It was within walking distance of my apartment and we intended on getting drunk enough to warrant having a bus drive us the 10 minute drive from downtown to my place.
It was your typical bus ride but my favorite part was the promo video they put on the TV screens in the tour bus. On it, one slide that was in heavy rotation (at least I think there were slides, it was a year ago after all. It could have been just one steady ad) advertised that you were on the bus heading to the Stockton "Asparatus" Festival. Yes, the busses rented out buy the Asparagus Festival played a video presumably made by the Asparagus Festival people, and they didn't spell Asparagus correctly.
We ended up telling the bus driver about the typo figuring he had been getting it all day from fellow Asparabussers. Instead he looked kind of surprised, and sure enough on the bus ride back the video was gone. So not only was Asparagus spelled Asparatus on the Asparabus, but nobody noticed until halfway through the second day.
Yes, I'm easily amused. Now somebody get me that tri-tip and asparagus sandwich.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Quick Links for April 23rd
Is it really Thursday and we still haven't done a Quick Links? Wow, that's kind of amazing. Well, let's see what nuggets of awesome we can mine from this week. Quick Links!
I told you these guys were evil!
Fuck, we made it to Thursday without mentioning this? Really? Media whore Alan Pettet responded to Don Blount's Klan kolumn from the previous week by claiming that the militia will be a rainbow coalition of men and women. If that didn't convince you the guy's a little bit off, he really cranks up the crazy in his next claim. He claims that an anonymous federal judge will swear the militia in on July 1st and then "Five minutes after we're sworn in, we oust the mayor and City Council and then we can declare martial law."
Ladies and gentlemen, the decent into cartoonish supervillan is almost complete. By this time next year we assume he will have pumped some poor cop full of lead so badly that the police department will take what's left of the body and turn him into some sort of crime fighting cyborg. That's right, Stockton's very own Robocop. It's going to happen dammit!
"Where do you live?" "I represent this distric.." "No, where do you live?" "I live on.." "Are you from the SOUTH!?" "No, I..." "That's all I wanted to know"
So yeah, that town hall meeting the mayor had in south Stockton was hilarious. I decided to attend because the mayor directly interacting with the residents of south Stockton sounded like a recipe for comedy gold. It was, for about 30 minutes. Then it became pretty repetitive. For a while most questions (a term I use loosely) seemed to start with "I moved to/was born in Stockton in 19(insert year before the 70s) and have lived here for over (insert number over 40 here) years. Things have changed a lot." Yes, for the most part it was a meeting about how south Stockton has changed due to growth. It's not like things were "back in my day". And then from there it devolved into one giant race debate. And by "race debate" I mean people accused the city of being prejudiced, even when talking about things the city had little-to-no control over. I came with the intention of asking a question but ended up not doing so. Partially because getting a word in edge-wise was nearly impossible for just Johnston and Eggman, and I wasn't nearly as passionate about my question as others were. And partially because I just felt bad for Johnston and Eggman. No answer they gave was good enough for that crowd.
One man asked why the General Fund is so depleted (because tax and permit revenues were down) and then 20 minutes later another guy complained that taxes and permits were too high. One guy even asked what the city was going to do about the racism in his union hall as if the city could just swoop in and be the racism police. (Although my favorite question was when somebody old enough to be my grandpa asked who owns all the foreclosed homes. That made me feel 10 times smarter.)
In the end it was clear that, if you weren't from south Stockton (which apparently is south of Charter Way, but does not include Charter Way), then your opinion didn't matter (hence the "Are you from the SOUTH" exchange one man had with Eggman). Which is a counterproductive line of thinking at best. The main problem is Stockton and south Stockton are like two completely different cities. Enforcing that by saying people from north of Charter couldn't possibly understand what goes on down south only hinders the progress south Stockton could make. It's about uniting communities, not enforcing petty separations. Hopefully both sides of Stockton eventually realize this and work together to lessen the discrepancies between the 2 areas.
Have we mentioned how horrible the City Council's timing is?
Speaking of the Council, we haven't seen any examples of their infamous horrible timing lately. Luckily Christian Burkin found an example in an American soldier in Iraq who also works for the Stockton PD. Can you guess where this is going? Yes, he's probably getting laid off. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't read this before going to that town hall meeting last night. Of course somebody probably would have asked what part of Stockton he was from as if it matters
I told you these guys were evil!
Fuck, we made it to Thursday without mentioning this? Really? Media whore Alan Pettet responded to Don Blount's Klan kolumn from the previous week by claiming that the militia will be a rainbow coalition of men and women. If that didn't convince you the guy's a little bit off, he really cranks up the crazy in his next claim. He claims that an anonymous federal judge will swear the militia in on July 1st and then "Five minutes after we're sworn in, we oust the mayor and City Council and then we can declare martial law."
Ladies and gentlemen, the decent into cartoonish supervillan is almost complete. By this time next year we assume he will have pumped some poor cop full of lead so badly that the police department will take what's left of the body and turn him into some sort of crime fighting cyborg. That's right, Stockton's very own Robocop. It's going to happen dammit!
"Where do you live?" "I represent this distric.." "No, where do you live?" "I live on.." "Are you from the SOUTH!?" "No, I..." "That's all I wanted to know"
So yeah, that town hall meeting the mayor had in south Stockton was hilarious. I decided to attend because the mayor directly interacting with the residents of south Stockton sounded like a recipe for comedy gold. It was, for about 30 minutes. Then it became pretty repetitive. For a while most questions (a term I use loosely) seemed to start with "I moved to/was born in Stockton in 19(insert year before the 70s) and have lived here for over (insert number over 40 here) years. Things have changed a lot." Yes, for the most part it was a meeting about how south Stockton has changed due to growth. It's not like things were "back in my day". And then from there it devolved into one giant race debate. And by "race debate" I mean people accused the city of being prejudiced, even when talking about things the city had little-to-no control over. I came with the intention of asking a question but ended up not doing so. Partially because getting a word in edge-wise was nearly impossible for just Johnston and Eggman, and I wasn't nearly as passionate about my question as others were. And partially because I just felt bad for Johnston and Eggman. No answer they gave was good enough for that crowd.
One man asked why the General Fund is so depleted (because tax and permit revenues were down) and then 20 minutes later another guy complained that taxes and permits were too high. One guy even asked what the city was going to do about the racism in his union hall as if the city could just swoop in and be the racism police. (Although my favorite question was when somebody old enough to be my grandpa asked who owns all the foreclosed homes. That made me feel 10 times smarter.)
In the end it was clear that, if you weren't from south Stockton (which apparently is south of Charter Way, but does not include Charter Way), then your opinion didn't matter (hence the "Are you from the SOUTH" exchange one man had with Eggman). Which is a counterproductive line of thinking at best. The main problem is Stockton and south Stockton are like two completely different cities. Enforcing that by saying people from north of Charter couldn't possibly understand what goes on down south only hinders the progress south Stockton could make. It's about uniting communities, not enforcing petty separations. Hopefully both sides of Stockton eventually realize this and work together to lessen the discrepancies between the 2 areas.
Have we mentioned how horrible the City Council's timing is?
Speaking of the Council, we haven't seen any examples of their infamous horrible timing lately. Luckily Christian Burkin found an example in an American soldier in Iraq who also works for the Stockton PD. Can you guess where this is going? Yes, he's probably getting laid off. I'm kind of disappointed I didn't read this before going to that town hall meeting last night. Of course somebody probably would have asked what part of Stockton he was from as if it matters
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Quick Links for April 16th
So, Quick Links? Ok, yeah, Quick Links.
What's my favorite word?
So early this morning (ok, around 7, but that's early for me), I got this misleading text message from El Duke that read "Lori Gilbert + rap = comedy gold". Of course, I ran to my computer hoping to see our favorite mature fetishist making a star turn as Queen Laqueefah and was slightly disappointed when that didn't happen. Luckily my disappointment quickly disappeared once I read the headline to her latest article, "Poets slam together rap form, gender issues". Yes, my disappointment was replaced by complete and utter confusion. Poetry AND rap form? Isn't that just called hip-hop? And it's at that point I realized Lori Gilbert was going to be writing about gender issues (a subject in which she doesn't exactly have the best track record) and rap music, which is fitting considering she's probably the only writer less equipped than Tony "Dino" Sauro to write about that subject (and it shows as she pretty much abandons that topic 3 paragraphs in). In other words, this was going to be hilarious.
And it was. It didn't even take 3 paragraphs to elicit a chuckle from me. Mostly this passage:
"The broad view of rap is that it's misogynistic..."
Which is almost immediately followed by this:
"'I never heard that thing about rap,' said Gesine Gerhard, director of Pacific's gender studies program."
It's always nice when an expert in gender studies contradicts your misogyny allegations in their very first quote. Look, we're not saying there aren't misogynistic rap lyrics (after all, the answer to the name of the Too Short song about is "bitch" or more phonetically "beee-yatch!"), but to say that the broad view of rap is that is misogynistic is misleading at best. That's the view old white people have of rap. Mostly because they've listened to one, maybe two rap songs in their entire lives. They don't understand hip hop culture.
But then we get into the discussion about the differences between hip hop and rap (and there is a difference), and that takes us wayyyyy off topic. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that rap really isn't any more misogynistic than any other form of music. Like any form of music it's representative of its culture. And while we as a culture have made great strides in terms of equality, those issues are still there. We're not saying rappers who have derogatory lyrics about women are all socially conscious and trying to bring inequality to the forefront, we're just saying they're representing a part of our culture regardless of how ignorant it is.
Rap has always reflected culture, and a lot of the time it's a part of culture we're not particularly proud of. There's the racial/political issues tackled in the 80s by Public Enemy. Or there's Ice T's "Cop Killer" in which he unleashes his pent up rage at the police for multitude of reasons by cathartically shouting "Fuck the police!" Rap, hip-hop, whatever the fuck you want to call it, is fucking raw. Which is something we may have forgotten recently amongst the overproduced bullshit unleashed upon us by noted gay fish Kanye West.
The worst part about that entire rap rant I just went on? It has nothing to do with the rest of that article because it's actually about a fucking poetry slam, which besides being similar lyrically, has absolutely nothing to do with rap. So why was rap even brought up in this article? Because somebody wanted to make a comment about gender roles in what is otherwise a straight forward article previewing a poetry slam. In other words, Lori Gilbert threw in unresearched bullshit and straight up stated her opinion in an article. Which I hear may be against a main point of journalism or something. Told you she had a poor track record writing about gender issues. But hey, at least you can treat this as the piece on rap and gender issues that the headline of that article teased but didn't follow through with.
Lodi taking progressive steps towards medical pot use? Did I step into the Twilight Zone or something?
So, let me get this straight, because there are no local zoning laws regarding medical marijuana dispensaries, that gives the Lodi City Council the right to impose a moratorium on them for up to 2 years to decide create those zoning laws? Lodi doesn't have pharmacies? Or medical supply stores? Bullshit. Half that town is fucking assisted living communities. They're just scared of what might happen based on archaic views of pot being a "gateway drug" and based on what one dumbass did in Modesto (long story short, he got greedy).
And judging by the report from Lodi Police Chief David Main, they'll be citing the fuck ups more than the people who genuinely need medical marijuana and have to drive to fucking Sacramento to do so. So we're not in the Twilight Zone after all. It's just another day of typical conservative Lodi bullshit.
Using this doll, point to where this woman touched you. Even though we have absolutely no information to indicate that she may have
In what can only be described as a throwback to the initial search for Cantu's body, the Tracy police department is once again admitting that they don't know shit and are now asking the community through the newspaper if they were also "inappropriately contacted" by Melissa Huckaby. Because crowd sourcing the investigation totally worked during the search for Cantu's body. So in 2 weeks look out for some immigrant workers who will come forward and say they found three girls who admitted to being touched by Huckaby (presumably via erotic shoulder rub). God, why won't this story end? Oh hey, what's this? Sandra who?
What's my favorite word?
So early this morning (ok, around 7, but that's early for me), I got this misleading text message from El Duke that read "Lori Gilbert + rap = comedy gold". Of course, I ran to my computer hoping to see our favorite mature fetishist making a star turn as Queen Laqueefah and was slightly disappointed when that didn't happen. Luckily my disappointment quickly disappeared once I read the headline to her latest article, "Poets slam together rap form, gender issues". Yes, my disappointment was replaced by complete and utter confusion. Poetry AND rap form? Isn't that just called hip-hop? And it's at that point I realized Lori Gilbert was going to be writing about gender issues (a subject in which she doesn't exactly have the best track record) and rap music, which is fitting considering she's probably the only writer less equipped than Tony "Dino" Sauro to write about that subject (and it shows as she pretty much abandons that topic 3 paragraphs in). In other words, this was going to be hilarious.
And it was. It didn't even take 3 paragraphs to elicit a chuckle from me. Mostly this passage:
"The broad view of rap is that it's misogynistic..."
Which is almost immediately followed by this:
"'I never heard that thing about rap,' said Gesine Gerhard, director of Pacific's gender studies program."
It's always nice when an expert in gender studies contradicts your misogyny allegations in their very first quote. Look, we're not saying there aren't misogynistic rap lyrics (after all, the answer to the name of the Too Short song about is "bitch" or more phonetically "beee-yatch!"), but to say that the broad view of rap is that is misogynistic is misleading at best. That's the view old white people have of rap. Mostly because they've listened to one, maybe two rap songs in their entire lives. They don't understand hip hop culture.
But then we get into the discussion about the differences between hip hop and rap (and there is a difference), and that takes us wayyyyy off topic. I guess the point I'm trying to make is that rap really isn't any more misogynistic than any other form of music. Like any form of music it's representative of its culture. And while we as a culture have made great strides in terms of equality, those issues are still there. We're not saying rappers who have derogatory lyrics about women are all socially conscious and trying to bring inequality to the forefront, we're just saying they're representing a part of our culture regardless of how ignorant it is.
Rap has always reflected culture, and a lot of the time it's a part of culture we're not particularly proud of. There's the racial/political issues tackled in the 80s by Public Enemy. Or there's Ice T's "Cop Killer" in which he unleashes his pent up rage at the police for multitude of reasons by cathartically shouting "Fuck the police!" Rap, hip-hop, whatever the fuck you want to call it, is fucking raw. Which is something we may have forgotten recently amongst the overproduced bullshit unleashed upon us by noted gay fish Kanye West.
The worst part about that entire rap rant I just went on? It has nothing to do with the rest of that article because it's actually about a fucking poetry slam, which besides being similar lyrically, has absolutely nothing to do with rap. So why was rap even brought up in this article? Because somebody wanted to make a comment about gender roles in what is otherwise a straight forward article previewing a poetry slam. In other words, Lori Gilbert threw in unresearched bullshit and straight up stated her opinion in an article. Which I hear may be against a main point of journalism or something. Told you she had a poor track record writing about gender issues. But hey, at least you can treat this as the piece on rap and gender issues that the headline of that article teased but didn't follow through with.
Lodi taking progressive steps towards medical pot use? Did I step into the Twilight Zone or something?
So, let me get this straight, because there are no local zoning laws regarding medical marijuana dispensaries, that gives the Lodi City Council the right to impose a moratorium on them for up to 2 years to decide create those zoning laws? Lodi doesn't have pharmacies? Or medical supply stores? Bullshit. Half that town is fucking assisted living communities. They're just scared of what might happen based on archaic views of pot being a "gateway drug" and based on what one dumbass did in Modesto (long story short, he got greedy).
And judging by the report from Lodi Police Chief David Main, they'll be citing the fuck ups more than the people who genuinely need medical marijuana and have to drive to fucking Sacramento to do so. So we're not in the Twilight Zone after all. It's just another day of typical conservative Lodi bullshit.
Using this doll, point to where this woman touched you. Even though we have absolutely no information to indicate that she may have
In what can only be described as a throwback to the initial search for Cantu's body, the Tracy police department is once again admitting that they don't know shit and are now asking the community through the newspaper if they were also "inappropriately contacted" by Melissa Huckaby. Because crowd sourcing the investigation totally worked during the search for Cantu's body. So in 2 weeks look out for some immigrant workers who will come forward and say they found three girls who admitted to being touched by Huckaby (presumably via erotic shoulder rub). God, why won't this story end? Oh hey, what's this? Sandra who?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Quick Links for April 14th
It's time for everybody's favorite lazy space filler, Quick Links!
Isn't this how movie supervillians start?
Well, it finally happened. Alan Pettet's most credible supporter, his lawyer/friend Ron Stein admitted that his involvement in the Stockton ArmedGang Militia was meant to be satirical. Because, you know, the Record's basically an unfunny version of the Onion at this point. Yes, in a move that seems to indicate backlash from his employer/clients (or somebody just smacking him on the back of the head and saying "what the matter with you?"), Stein called the proposed militia ridiculous and is "off the ship". Which we can imagine his pal Pettet loved.
There's no way to know how this truly went down, but I like to imagine a meek Stein walking into a dark, cavernous room and saying "Al, I can't do this anymore. It's too risky." While an already corrupted by power Pettet slowly turns around in his electric wheelchair while petting the cat in his lap and says "Too risky? It's too late for too risky! You've seen the attention this thing's gotten! I'm gonna be on Limbaugh! We have hundreds of followers! Hundreds! We can't turn our backs on them now!" Then a cowering Stein says, "But, but Alan, I thought we agreed this was just a joke. It's getting out of hand. Nobody takes me seriously as a lawyer anymore." Which would naturally be followed by an enraged Pettet saying "Joke? This is no joke. It's bigger than the both of us now. You want to leave? Fine. You disgust me." Then he would turn back around and gaze longingly into the fireplace while descending further into madness.
Yes, I have too much free time on my hands.
Why must you crush my dreams Record!?
Well, after cleaning up the awards last week, this week crime statistics continue to decline. While auto theft isn't a violent crime, it does show that crime in general is on the decline. Plus, the article later states that, just in the first 3 months of 2009, violent crimes are down 11%.
This was a big list though. This isn't just auto theft rate in California, this is a nationwide list. And we let fucking Modesto beat us. Modesto. It's hard to see such a promising ex-champion fall from grace like this. Especially on such a grand stage. But we'll be back, I have faith.
On a side note, with violent crime down 11%, property crime down 21.4%, and auto thefts down 27% do we really need a group of vigilantes patrolling the streets? Crime's not exactly on the rise and throwing a bunch of dudes on the street with guns can really only raise the crime rate...wait a minute. That might just be the thing to salvage our title chances! Militias for everybody! 200+ homicides has to bring the title home. It just has to.
This might just save newspapers
Sometimes, in pursuit of an angle to a story or a gimmick, we forget things. Since we started our crusade to end the string of Lori Gilbert penned stories about old people, we forgot that in the right light old people can be downright adorable. Stories about how old people are still useful aren't adorable and are frankly kind of insulting to our county's elderly. What is adorable? Old playing video games. Serious, go look at the main picture attached to this story and tell me that old lady with her tongue sticking out in deep concentration isn't the cutest thing you've seen since myRecord.
I'm deeply disappointed there wasn't a video to compliment this story as watching two old dudes engage in a friendly bout of video game fisticuffs would have been the best thing Recordnet's ever produced. Seriously, tell Tara Cuslidge to stop acting as the word's most expensive tape recorder for reporters and have her start videotaping these bowling matches. Speed them up to double speed in post and add the Benny Hill theme, post it to the Online Blog and you've got yourself a bona fide viral video. It'll be the funniest thing on that blog since Cuslidge's "Sandra Cantu happened to me!" post, only this time it'll be intentional!
Isn't this how movie supervillians start?
Well, it finally happened. Alan Pettet's most credible supporter, his lawyer/friend Ron Stein admitted that his involvement in the Stockton Armed
There's no way to know how this truly went down, but I like to imagine a meek Stein walking into a dark, cavernous room and saying "Al, I can't do this anymore. It's too risky." While an already corrupted by power Pettet slowly turns around in his electric wheelchair while petting the cat in his lap and says "Too risky? It's too late for too risky! You've seen the attention this thing's gotten! I'm gonna be on Limbaugh! We have hundreds of followers! Hundreds! We can't turn our backs on them now!" Then a cowering Stein says, "But, but Alan, I thought we agreed this was just a joke. It's getting out of hand. Nobody takes me seriously as a lawyer anymore." Which would naturally be followed by an enraged Pettet saying "Joke? This is no joke. It's bigger than the both of us now. You want to leave? Fine. You disgust me." Then he would turn back around and gaze longingly into the fireplace while descending further into madness.
Yes, I have too much free time on my hands.
Why must you crush my dreams Record!?
Well, after cleaning up the awards last week, this week crime statistics continue to decline. While auto theft isn't a violent crime, it does show that crime in general is on the decline. Plus, the article later states that, just in the first 3 months of 2009, violent crimes are down 11%.
This was a big list though. This isn't just auto theft rate in California, this is a nationwide list. And we let fucking Modesto beat us. Modesto. It's hard to see such a promising ex-champion fall from grace like this. Especially on such a grand stage. But we'll be back, I have faith.
On a side note, with violent crime down 11%, property crime down 21.4%, and auto thefts down 27% do we really need a group of vigilantes patrolling the streets? Crime's not exactly on the rise and throwing a bunch of dudes on the street with guns can really only raise the crime rate...wait a minute. That might just be the thing to salvage our title chances! Militias for everybody! 200+ homicides has to bring the title home. It just has to.
This might just save newspapers
Sometimes, in pursuit of an angle to a story or a gimmick, we forget things. Since we started our crusade to end the string of Lori Gilbert penned stories about old people, we forgot that in the right light old people can be downright adorable. Stories about how old people are still useful aren't adorable and are frankly kind of insulting to our county's elderly. What is adorable? Old playing video games. Serious, go look at the main picture attached to this story and tell me that old lady with her tongue sticking out in deep concentration isn't the cutest thing you've seen since myRecord.
I'm deeply disappointed there wasn't a video to compliment this story as watching two old dudes engage in a friendly bout of video game fisticuffs would have been the best thing Recordnet's ever produced. Seriously, tell Tara Cuslidge to stop acting as the word's most expensive tape recorder for reporters and have her start videotaping these bowling matches. Speed them up to double speed in post and add the Benny Hill theme, post it to the Online Blog and you've got yourself a bona fide viral video. It'll be the funniest thing on that blog since Cuslidge's "Sandra Cantu happened to me!" post, only this time it'll be intentional!
Friday, April 10, 2009
Quick Links for April 10th
Oh hey, it's Sexy Friday. Hope you enjoyed the Michael David Smith interview. El Duke may emerge from his cave today to bring back a revamped Shit To Do post later today, so look out for that. Out of Context Quote of the Week should also appear sometime later. But for now? Quick Links!
It must be awards season. Better go get my tux dry cleaned
Sure, we probably won't reclaim the violent crime rate title this year, but that doesn't mean we can't clean up in all the secondary award shows!
Today, it was revealed that Stockton has the highest dropout rate of any California city. So, as is customary...(clears throat)
Wooooo! We're #1! We're #1!
With that out of the way we have to express our disappointment that this study is based on numbers that are 2 years old. We really wanted to make and Amato/SAT joke but he had nothing to do with these numbers which severely disappoints us. But still, graduating less seniors than we had dropouts is fairly impressive. So congrats future lifetime Delta College students. You're making us proud.
Oh, and that that Oakland!
I hate journalism
These vigilantes clearly have lost their marbles, so the next natural step of progression is to exploit them on a national level! Yes, in a move that must give the Stockton Police Officers Association a massive erection, the Alan Pettet has fielded media requests from the Associated Press, National Public Radio, and Captain Douchebag himself Rush Limbaugh. You guys already know my stance on these vigilantes so I'm not going to beat a dead horse (although SAM might come by and shoot it later).
If you have yet to read it Christian Burkin's blog entry about the SAM is a pretty good read and he offers a unique perspective as an ex-military man and a guy who probably knows more about crime in Stockton than any of us.
I really hope this story dies a quick, painless death. But I kind of doubt it will. Fuck, now I'm depressed. Let's end this on a lighter note.
Nobody pahtied fackin hahdah!
Kissing Suzy Kolber was on a roll yesterday. First there was the least surprising story about a Raider fan ever, then there was the linked post of a letter sent to the students or alumni of Holy Cross. It's pretty much one of the funniest things I've ever read. And that includes Fitzy's plan to buy the Thunder (We'd be Gods!). Although frankly, the two of those are actually kind of similar.
It must be awards season. Better go get my tux dry cleaned
Sure, we probably won't reclaim the violent crime rate title this year, but that doesn't mean we can't clean up in all the secondary award shows!
Today, it was revealed that Stockton has the highest dropout rate of any California city. So, as is customary...(clears throat)
Wooooo! We're #1! We're #1!
With that out of the way we have to express our disappointment that this study is based on numbers that are 2 years old. We really wanted to make and Amato/SAT joke but he had nothing to do with these numbers which severely disappoints us. But still, graduating less seniors than we had dropouts is fairly impressive. So congrats future lifetime Delta College students. You're making us proud.
Oh, and that that Oakland!
I hate journalism
These vigilantes clearly have lost their marbles, so the next natural step of progression is to exploit them on a national level! Yes, in a move that must give the Stockton Police Officers Association a massive erection, the Alan Pettet has fielded media requests from the Associated Press, National Public Radio, and Captain Douchebag himself Rush Limbaugh. You guys already know my stance on these vigilantes so I'm not going to beat a dead horse (although SAM might come by and shoot it later).
If you have yet to read it Christian Burkin's blog entry about the SAM is a pretty good read and he offers a unique perspective as an ex-military man and a guy who probably knows more about crime in Stockton than any of us.
I really hope this story dies a quick, painless death. But I kind of doubt it will. Fuck, now I'm depressed. Let's end this on a lighter note.
Nobody pahtied fackin hahdah!
Kissing Suzy Kolber was on a roll yesterday. First there was the least surprising story about a Raider fan ever, then there was the linked post of a letter sent to the students or alumni of Holy Cross. It's pretty much one of the funniest things I've ever read. And that includes Fitzy's plan to buy the Thunder (We'd be Gods!). Although frankly, the two of those are actually kind of similar.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Quick Links for April 9th
Another day another Quick Links. Let's do the damn thing.
So...many...jokes...
Unfortunately the Record used the Hammertime joke already. But seeing Hammer do charity work in Stockton reminds me of an idea we had for an aborted Top 5 post.
The Top 5 was supposed to be Top 5 ways to improve Stockton's public image and, by extension, generate revenue for the city. One of the ideas (and possibly the greatest idea ever.) was for the rapper turned reality star to buy up the dearly departed local landmark Hammer Skate. You can probably guess where we're going with this but I'll continue anyway. Hammer would reopen Hammer Skate as an 80's themed roller rink that would occasionally feature cover bands andwashed up legendary 80s performers. All while being documented by cameras for his new reality show "Stop! Hammer Skate!"
I know, we're geniuses and it would be a great way to get Stockton some positive PR and it would presumably also feature the city as it tried to pull itself out of the economic hole we're all in. Plus the tourism revenue could possibly be awesome because who wouldn't want to skate around and wax nostalgic while Hammer and Flavor Flav (who would naturally be involved in some capacity) battle rap in the background.
You know you would watch that show. If/when this happens I better get my cut.
Stockton finally gets a Panda Express with a drive-thru
This is the Panda by Toys R Us, right? How the fuck does somebody jump that curb? Were they even looking at the road? Was the driver my friend who starts to turn as soon as you say "You're gonna wanna take the next right" even though the turn isn't for another couple hundred yards? Stockton drivers are fucking awesome.
When in doubt, check the opinion of Recordnet commenters and pick the opposite
We're not exactly legal experts here, but when we saw this story previewed on David Siders' blog and noticed all of the commenters seemed to come out on Lori Whittaker's side (comments that suspiciously have been taken down now despite not being particularly incendiary), it kind of gave us an idea as to who's right and who's wrong in this situation. But because we're known for our hard nosed research (I crack myself up), I bravely scrolled through the 15-page legal document posted in the linked post. You know, just to make sure our instincts were correct. And well, it looks like they were.
The accusations levied against City Attorney Ren Nosky appear to be petty and there seems to be an ulterior motive with this entire suit (namely, revenge for her cousin). The extend of the sexual harassment charges are "He looked at me funny" (the "leering" charge), "He tried to make small talk" (asking about her personal life), and "he talked about me behind my back!" (discussed her with other coworkers).
Of course, I'm just one guy with zero access calling them like I see them, but all of those charges are in the sexual harassment grey area. Because, let's face it, what constitutes leering? I check out hot coworkers all the time, but am I sexually harassing them? Unless he was doing something obvious like talking to her tits instead of her face this seems like an incredibly vague charge. I can't really say anything about the personal life questions because it depends on the questions he asked. If he asked her is she went out last night then that's a perfectly reasonable question. If he asked her if it was a date or something that's moving towards inappropriate but still fine. If he asked her if she got pounded like a railroad spike then, yeah, there's an issue. And finally, talking about her body with other coworkers? I did that 10 minutes ago. People talk about their coworkers behind their backs. It happens all the fucking time. It's part of workplace culture. Unless he was trying to float the theory around the office that a new set of tits would make her perfect while she was standing right in front of him then this is another vague claim in a legal gray area that, as a lawyer she knows all too much about.
Of course, the charges of sexual harassment are an appetizer. The main course is the allegations of a hostile work environment and inaction by the city in regards to her vague harassment claims. Which, if you read the document pretty much amounts to a whiney "Nobody listens to me anymore!"
She talks about her years of service and how Nosky came in and basically went in a different direction and she didn't like it. She narcs out the city for considering the age of applicants for various jobs which, while technically illegal, is still pretty much done in every job ever. And then, she seems to be surprised that people would react negatively to that. And that's before we get to the unsourced quote of "One Rishwain down, one to go" (although the whole inclusion of the Rishwain settlement seems to be to stir up populist furor over the fact that the city spent money on something that wasn't cops) and what appears to be a half-assed apology from Nosky who admitted that he "was a real prick" to her.
I could go on, but at the end of the day it appears to me to be one giant bitching rant about how she didn't get her way after lobbing vague allegations at Nosky that couldn't be proved because it was a basic game of he said, she said.
I don't know and have never met anyone involved in this case so really I'm not the best guy to pass judgement. I could be 100% wrong, and if I am please tell me so. But until then I'm just going to assume that somebody's pissed that her new boss wouldn't let her coast like her old boss. All based on the fact that Recordnet commenters immediately backed her.
Oh, and the apparent allegation that Leslie Martin is sexist towards women (I'm assuming she's one of Does 1-50 considering she was mentioned in the document as someone who knew of the harassment shit and didn't do anything) is fucking hilarious. The only way that could have been more hilarious is if she accused Susan Eggman of being sexist. If that had happened I'm not sure I'd be posting this today. I'd be too busy laughing.
So...many...jokes...
Unfortunately the Record used the Hammertime joke already. But seeing Hammer do charity work in Stockton reminds me of an idea we had for an aborted Top 5 post.
The Top 5 was supposed to be Top 5 ways to improve Stockton's public image and, by extension, generate revenue for the city. One of the ideas (and possibly the greatest idea ever.) was for the rapper turned reality star to buy up the dearly departed local landmark Hammer Skate. You can probably guess where we're going with this but I'll continue anyway. Hammer would reopen Hammer Skate as an 80's themed roller rink that would occasionally feature cover bands and
I know, we're geniuses and it would be a great way to get Stockton some positive PR and it would presumably also feature the city as it tried to pull itself out of the economic hole we're all in. Plus the tourism revenue could possibly be awesome because who wouldn't want to skate around and wax nostalgic while Hammer and Flavor Flav (who would naturally be involved in some capacity) battle rap in the background.
You know you would watch that show. If/when this happens I better get my cut.
Stockton finally gets a Panda Express with a drive-thru
This is the Panda by Toys R Us, right? How the fuck does somebody jump that curb? Were they even looking at the road? Was the driver my friend who starts to turn as soon as you say "You're gonna wanna take the next right" even though the turn isn't for another couple hundred yards? Stockton drivers are fucking awesome.
When in doubt, check the opinion of Recordnet commenters and pick the opposite
We're not exactly legal experts here, but when we saw this story previewed on David Siders' blog and noticed all of the commenters seemed to come out on Lori Whittaker's side (comments that suspiciously have been taken down now despite not being particularly incendiary), it kind of gave us an idea as to who's right and who's wrong in this situation. But because we're known for our hard nosed research (I crack myself up), I bravely scrolled through the 15-page legal document posted in the linked post. You know, just to make sure our instincts were correct. And well, it looks like they were.
The accusations levied against City Attorney Ren Nosky appear to be petty and there seems to be an ulterior motive with this entire suit (namely, revenge for her cousin). The extend of the sexual harassment charges are "He looked at me funny" (the "leering" charge), "He tried to make small talk" (asking about her personal life), and "he talked about me behind my back!" (discussed her with other coworkers).
Of course, I'm just one guy with zero access calling them like I see them, but all of those charges are in the sexual harassment grey area. Because, let's face it, what constitutes leering? I check out hot coworkers all the time, but am I sexually harassing them? Unless he was doing something obvious like talking to her tits instead of her face this seems like an incredibly vague charge. I can't really say anything about the personal life questions because it depends on the questions he asked. If he asked her is she went out last night then that's a perfectly reasonable question. If he asked her if it was a date or something that's moving towards inappropriate but still fine. If he asked her if she got pounded like a railroad spike then, yeah, there's an issue. And finally, talking about her body with other coworkers? I did that 10 minutes ago. People talk about their coworkers behind their backs. It happens all the fucking time. It's part of workplace culture. Unless he was trying to float the theory around the office that a new set of tits would make her perfect while she was standing right in front of him then this is another vague claim in a legal gray area that, as a lawyer she knows all too much about.
Of course, the charges of sexual harassment are an appetizer. The main course is the allegations of a hostile work environment and inaction by the city in regards to her vague harassment claims. Which, if you read the document pretty much amounts to a whiney "Nobody listens to me anymore!"
She talks about her years of service and how Nosky came in and basically went in a different direction and she didn't like it. She narcs out the city for considering the age of applicants for various jobs which, while technically illegal, is still pretty much done in every job ever. And then, she seems to be surprised that people would react negatively to that. And that's before we get to the unsourced quote of "One Rishwain down, one to go" (although the whole inclusion of the Rishwain settlement seems to be to stir up populist furor over the fact that the city spent money on something that wasn't cops) and what appears to be a half-assed apology from Nosky who admitted that he "was a real prick" to her.
I could go on, but at the end of the day it appears to me to be one giant bitching rant about how she didn't get her way after lobbing vague allegations at Nosky that couldn't be proved because it was a basic game of he said, she said.
I don't know and have never met anyone involved in this case so really I'm not the best guy to pass judgement. I could be 100% wrong, and if I am please tell me so. But until then I'm just going to assume that somebody's pissed that her new boss wouldn't let her coast like her old boss. All based on the fact that Recordnet commenters immediately backed her.
Oh, and the apparent allegation that Leslie Martin is sexist towards women (I'm assuming she's one of Does 1-50 considering she was mentioned in the document as someone who knew of the harassment shit and didn't do anything) is fucking hilarious. The only way that could have been more hilarious is if she accused Susan Eggman of being sexist. If that had happened I'm not sure I'd be posting this today. I'd be too busy laughing.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Quick Links for April 8th
Now that the incredibly depressing news is out of the way, let's see what else is going on in Stockton today in everybody's favorite link dump known as the Quick Links!
Come to Crazy Larry's Discount Homes where our prices are insa-a-ane!
Wooooo! We're #1! We're #1!
Ok, now that we got that out of the way, we gotta say we're kind of disappointed that in light of all the redevelopment efforts the best HGTV can come up with to sell people on Stockton is that we're close to Sacramento and the Bay Area. It's a good thing we paid all those consultants to help market the city with their various ideas on how to "brand" us. Let's ditch "Celebrate Stockton!" like we so quickly ditched "The Event City" and make the new PR campaign be "Stockton: Close to a lot of shit".
Notice how we're disappointed, but not surprised that HGTV decided our proximity to other cities was more important than our own burgeoning music scene, quality bars, downtown as a whole, fighting reputation, and many other positive things. At least they didn't mention our unemployment rate, apparently high levels of misery, or the looming turf war between vigilante groups.
Can't a homeless guy just be homeless?
In a classic case of deja vu (the term, not the strip club), another homeless encampment was broken up yesterday. This one being the camp that replaced the old encampment under the crosstown that was broken up last month. So if Groundhog's Day rules apply here that means somebody's getting hit by a car on the freeway sometime next week. All to improve Stockton's otherwise totally positive public image. And locking out an old lady from her electric wheelchair is always a nice touch. You stay classy Cal Trans.
So it's come down to this... (Note: Probably NSFW)
It's kind of a slow news day so we'll update you on KSK's Nasty Fetish Tourney that we helped out with a couple of weeks ago. All the fetishes featured on our site have gone down in defeat en route to the championship matchup. And what a matchup it is. In the Sophie's Choice of fetishes necrobeastiality takes on close relative, regular beastiality (yes, I just described beastiality as regular. Luckily I'm pretty sure I'm already going to hell). Last I checked necrobeastiality was winning by a large margin, but there are really no losers in this tournament. Except, of course, our innocence. Once this is over, let us never speak of this again.
Come to Crazy Larry's Discount Homes where our prices are insa-a-ane!
Wooooo! We're #1! We're #1!
Ok, now that we got that out of the way, we gotta say we're kind of disappointed that in light of all the redevelopment efforts the best HGTV can come up with to sell people on Stockton is that we're close to Sacramento and the Bay Area. It's a good thing we paid all those consultants to help market the city with their various ideas on how to "brand" us. Let's ditch "Celebrate Stockton!" like we so quickly ditched "The Event City" and make the new PR campaign be "Stockton: Close to a lot of shit".
Notice how we're disappointed, but not surprised that HGTV decided our proximity to other cities was more important than our own burgeoning music scene, quality bars, downtown as a whole, fighting reputation, and many other positive things. At least they didn't mention our unemployment rate, apparently high levels of misery, or the looming turf war between vigilante groups.
Can't a homeless guy just be homeless?
In a classic case of deja vu (the term, not the strip club), another homeless encampment was broken up yesterday. This one being the camp that replaced the old encampment under the crosstown that was broken up last month. So if Groundhog's Day rules apply here that means somebody's getting hit by a car on the freeway sometime next week. All to improve Stockton's otherwise totally positive public image. And locking out an old lady from her electric wheelchair is always a nice touch. You stay classy Cal Trans.
So it's come down to this... (Note: Probably NSFW)
It's kind of a slow news day so we'll update you on KSK's Nasty Fetish Tourney that we helped out with a couple of weeks ago. All the fetishes featured on our site have gone down in defeat en route to the championship matchup. And what a matchup it is. In the Sophie's Choice of fetishes necrobeastiality takes on close relative, regular beastiality (yes, I just described beastiality as regular. Luckily I'm pretty sure I'm already going to hell). Last I checked necrobeastiality was winning by a large margin, but there are really no losers in this tournament. Except, of course, our innocence. Once this is over, let us never speak of this again.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Quick Links for April 7th
There's a whole lot of crazy in the news today (mostly in the second item), so let's just dive right in. Quick Links!
Sad ending, chilling reminder
Well, it's over. OK, at least the search for Sandra is over. There's still the matter of some crazy motherfucker out there snatching up little girls and stuffing them into suitcases. Whenever stuff like this happens the usual response is shock that this could happen so close to home. And then the resulting questions about the safety of one's own children. I don't want to pass judgement because I'm (thankfully) not a parent (knock on wood). But one of the interesting questions asked during the press conference last night was what advice Tracy Sgt. Tony Sheneman had for the parents of Tracy. His response was extremely genuine as he is a Tracy parent himself. I'm paraphrasing from memory hear but it was something along the lines of remembering to keep a watchful eye over your children and to kiss them and tell them you love when you get home tonight. It would have been easy make some bravado-filled grand statement about the world we live in today but instead he made an understated and ultimately true statement.
Sometimes there's just nothing you can do but do your best and hope. Everybody always thinks it'll never happen in their own tightly knitted neighborhood. Then the next thing you know a kid escapes from his backyard (or car) and you're on News10 saying "How could this have happened here?" The thing is, it could happen anywhere. It's a scary thought but it's not like it's anything new. That scary thought has recently been brought to the forefront of everybody's minds and it's a shame that something like this has to happen to do so. Now I hear my friends who are parents worrying about letting their kids out to play. One of my friends from Tracy talked about not being able to go out alone at night with a killer on the loose somewhat jokingly. But at the end of the day we can't live in fear like that. I wouldn't want my child growing up in a culture of fear like that. All we can do is try our best to keep a watchful eye over our loved ones, tell them we love them and hope.
They are the symbol this town needs...
Reason # 43,097 why I love Stockton.
Leave it to the crazy residents of Stockton to come up with something 50 times more frightening than the previous item. And trust me, this is pretty scary. I'm not even sure where to begin with this. If there's one thing this town doesn't need it's a group of vigilantes (which is really what they're talking about. They say militia, I say vigilante group. To-may-toe, To-mah-toe) running around with guns and a chip on their shoulder.
Yes, I understand there's constitutional provisions to form a militia. But this isn't Nam, there are rules. I'm not up-to-date on my constitution amendments, but I'm pretty sure one of those rules is not threatening the city with vigilante justice (The "Watch and see. Who's gonna stop us?" line).
In a testament to just how well thought out this whole plan is, the militia (which pretty much every city official quoted in the story thinks is a horrible idea by the way) plans on billing the city $350 per hour for their "services". $350 per hour? Are you fucking kidding me? So that's how Bruce Wayne became a billionaire. He was fleecing Gotham for an hourly rate! How the fuck do you even do that? Is there a vigilante time clock? Can you really force the city to for pay something they don't want? If so, the SPOA likes the cut of that jibb and would like to subscribe to their newsletter. This whole thing is fucking based of the fact that Ann Johnston, Gordon Palmer, Dale Fritchen, Susan Eggman and the entire City Council are basically turning their pockets inside out and saying "we got nothing" to Stockton PD. If they can't pay those guys, how the fuck are they going to pay a bunch of untrained, disabled vets (note the electric wheelchair joystick in Pettet's picture).
And that brings me to the biggest issue, training. Here's this "militia's" idea of training:
"He said the militia will train at a firing range..."
So pretty much, they're training to shoot straight. Which will totally prepare them to do stuff like this (kickass article about the possibly affects of the budget cuts/layoffs by the way).
Then there's also the fact that doing this is basically suicide. How do I know this? Let's jump to the notebook dump at David Siders' blog! (By the way, the latest post scares me, but is not in the least bit surprising)
"Pettet said the militia would patrol 'only the worst neighborhoods,' using four men in one car at a time."
Ummm, Mr. Pettet, they have more guns and people than you in those neighborhoods. But don't take my word for it, here's somebody slightly more respected than us.
"Councilwoman Susan Eggman said, 'That is over the top.' She said, "I think it's like suicide. It's an irrevocable answer for a problem that's not going to be around forever.'"
I see no way how this ends badly. Except for, you know, every way.
Umm, yeah. About that program name...
So yeah, paying it forward means instead of getting something back for doing a good deed you ask the person you did the good deed for to do the same for someone else thus negating the need for reciprocity. It's a great system because it causes people to do good things and not expect praise or recognition for their deeds. Just do good things for the sake of doing good thing. Free advertisement kind of negates that, even if it's not the intent (although we question their intent if they're posing for some cheesy photo with their company name featured prominently. Not to mention that short-sighted NASCAR analogy. I hate to break it to you, but sponsors aren't paying drivers out of the kindness of their hearts. Tony Stewart ain't paying shit forward.)
And on top of that, you usually pay it forward to people, not donations to charitable organizations. You usually pay it forward by doing something nice for somebody, say, helping an old lady with her bags and when they ask how they can repay you you tell them to "pay it forward" and do something nice for someone else. Just taking a percentage of your profits and donating it to charity is the laziest way to pay it forward.
Oh, and yes, Lori also wrote about old people today. Gotta keep the streak alive.
Sad ending, chilling reminder
Well, it's over. OK, at least the search for Sandra is over. There's still the matter of some crazy motherfucker out there snatching up little girls and stuffing them into suitcases. Whenever stuff like this happens the usual response is shock that this could happen so close to home. And then the resulting questions about the safety of one's own children. I don't want to pass judgement because I'm (thankfully) not a parent (knock on wood). But one of the interesting questions asked during the press conference last night was what advice Tracy Sgt. Tony Sheneman had for the parents of Tracy. His response was extremely genuine as he is a Tracy parent himself. I'm paraphrasing from memory hear but it was something along the lines of remembering to keep a watchful eye over your children and to kiss them and tell them you love when you get home tonight. It would have been easy make some bravado-filled grand statement about the world we live in today but instead he made an understated and ultimately true statement.
Sometimes there's just nothing you can do but do your best and hope. Everybody always thinks it'll never happen in their own tightly knitted neighborhood. Then the next thing you know a kid escapes from his backyard (or car) and you're on News10 saying "How could this have happened here?" The thing is, it could happen anywhere. It's a scary thought but it's not like it's anything new. That scary thought has recently been brought to the forefront of everybody's minds and it's a shame that something like this has to happen to do so. Now I hear my friends who are parents worrying about letting their kids out to play. One of my friends from Tracy talked about not being able to go out alone at night with a killer on the loose somewhat jokingly. But at the end of the day we can't live in fear like that. I wouldn't want my child growing up in a culture of fear like that. All we can do is try our best to keep a watchful eye over our loved ones, tell them we love them and hope.
They are the symbol this town needs...
Reason # 43,097 why I love Stockton.
Leave it to the crazy residents of Stockton to come up with something 50 times more frightening than the previous item. And trust me, this is pretty scary. I'm not even sure where to begin with this. If there's one thing this town doesn't need it's a group of vigilantes (which is really what they're talking about. They say militia, I say vigilante group. To-may-toe, To-mah-toe) running around with guns and a chip on their shoulder.
Yes, I understand there's constitutional provisions to form a militia. But this isn't Nam, there are rules. I'm not up-to-date on my constitution amendments, but I'm pretty sure one of those rules is not threatening the city with vigilante justice (The "Watch and see. Who's gonna stop us?" line).
In a testament to just how well thought out this whole plan is, the militia (which pretty much every city official quoted in the story thinks is a horrible idea by the way) plans on billing the city $350 per hour for their "services". $350 per hour? Are you fucking kidding me? So that's how Bruce Wayne became a billionaire. He was fleecing Gotham for an hourly rate! How the fuck do you even do that? Is there a vigilante time clock? Can you really force the city to for pay something they don't want? If so, the SPOA likes the cut of that jibb and would like to subscribe to their newsletter. This whole thing is fucking based of the fact that Ann Johnston, Gordon Palmer, Dale Fritchen, Susan Eggman and the entire City Council are basically turning their pockets inside out and saying "we got nothing" to Stockton PD. If they can't pay those guys, how the fuck are they going to pay a bunch of untrained, disabled vets (note the electric wheelchair joystick in Pettet's picture).
And that brings me to the biggest issue, training. Here's this "militia's" idea of training:
"He said the militia will train at a firing range..."
So pretty much, they're training to shoot straight. Which will totally prepare them to do stuff like this (kickass article about the possibly affects of the budget cuts/layoffs by the way).
Then there's also the fact that doing this is basically suicide. How do I know this? Let's jump to the notebook dump at David Siders' blog! (By the way, the latest post scares me, but is not in the least bit surprising)
"Pettet said the militia would patrol 'only the worst neighborhoods,' using four men in one car at a time."
Ummm, Mr. Pettet, they have more guns and people than you in those neighborhoods. But don't take my word for it, here's somebody slightly more respected than us.
"Councilwoman Susan Eggman said, 'That is over the top.' She said, "I think it's like suicide. It's an irrevocable answer for a problem that's not going to be around forever.'"
I see no way how this ends badly. Except for, you know, every way.
Umm, yeah. About that program name...
So yeah, paying it forward means instead of getting something back for doing a good deed you ask the person you did the good deed for to do the same for someone else thus negating the need for reciprocity. It's a great system because it causes people to do good things and not expect praise or recognition for their deeds. Just do good things for the sake of doing good thing. Free advertisement kind of negates that, even if it's not the intent (although we question their intent if they're posing for some cheesy photo with their company name featured prominently. Not to mention that short-sighted NASCAR analogy. I hate to break it to you, but sponsors aren't paying drivers out of the kindness of their hearts. Tony Stewart ain't paying shit forward.)
And on top of that, you usually pay it forward to people, not donations to charitable organizations. You usually pay it forward by doing something nice for somebody, say, helping an old lady with her bags and when they ask how they can repay you you tell them to "pay it forward" and do something nice for someone else. Just taking a percentage of your profits and donating it to charity is the laziest way to pay it forward.
Oh, and yes, Lori also wrote about old people today. Gotta keep the streak alive.
Friday, April 3, 2009
The obvious Quick Links for April 3rd
Oh hey, it's Sexy Friday. Awesome. Although today is a sad day. Mark your calendars. Why? Because April 3rd 2009 is apparently the day obviousness died. How so? Well, let's find out in today's Quick Links!
Captian Condescending and Captian Obvious are the same person! No wonder you never see them both in the same place!
In yesterday's Quick Links we mentioned how the main advantage of bottled water wasn't it's purity, but it's convenience. So you can imagine my total lack of surprise when I opened the paper this morning and saw that Fitzy had dedicated an entire column to the fact that bottled water is basically tap water. Oh my God! So shocking!
We'd love to agree with Fitzy because bottled water is essentially repackaged tap water, but he makes his point in such a condescending manner (which is really his trademark, hence the Captain Condescending moniker) that we can't help but disagree with him. Specifically this line:
I see that University of the Pacific students are swearing off bottled water. Lunatics elsewhere are not.
Lunatics? Really? We made this point yesterday but we'll do it again. The main selling point for bottled water is NOT its purity. It's the convenience of the bottle. You don't have to worry about spilling it like with a regular cup because of the screw on cap, but when you're done with it it's disposable. Frankly, I don't want to have to carry a fucking canteen with me after I finish off its contents. It's much easier to just throw away. Does that make me a thoughtless bastard? In the minds of hippies, yeah, probably. But hey, you can usually recycle those fucking bottles anyways. So using the waste excuse for water bottles is a moot point because they're recyclable and if you really wanted to, you could refill that cheap plastic bottle just like it's more expensive canteen brother. They're the same fucking thing. Only this time the theoretical PT Barnum is laughing at all the hippie douchebags carrying around a $4 cumbersome piece of plastic.
Oh, and about that cost part. Way to pick the most expensive version of bottled water. Vending machines in general are one giant ripoff because, again, they're there for convenience! Any asshole knows that you can go into a fucking store and buy a whole case of bottled water for wayyyyy cheaper than 5 cents an ounce. Using the vending machine price is like me saying clothing is overpriced and then citing the prices at Urban Outfitters or some other weaksauce hipster store with $100 jeans instead of citing the average prices. Nice try Fitz, but your argument doesn't hold water (rimshot).
Well, that's one way to get your case dismissed
Considering the way things have been going downtown lately, I'm surprised they didn't postpone this decision because the defendant wasn't present. There isn't really much to this story but it fits our death of obviousness theme today. Plus this line might be my new favorite joke involving journalism, mostly because they had to get a spokesperson to say it. I wish I had been in the room for this:
A dead person can't be prosecuted, a court spokeswoman said.
You just know there was some meeting where an editor told the writer that they needed to get somebody credible to corroborate it while the writer presumably slammed their head against their keyboard and questioned their career choice for the 35th time that day.
Saving the best for last
Economy in a nose dive!? What the fuck!? When did this happen!? How are we just hearing about this now!? Fucking A! Somebody has to do something! Oh my God, the stock market! When were you going to get around to telling us about this shit!? Thank God there's places like the UOP Business Forecasting Center to warn people about this economic freefall before it's too late! Quick! Get Governor Scwarzenegger and Barack Obama on the phone fast! They're going to want to hear about this as soon as possible! Man, it's a good thing we caught this early or else we might be really fucked.
Kind of reminds a guy why they got in to journalism in the first place. To inform the people of what they didn't know. And to think, people say newspapers are dying. (sigh) Somebody pass me the scotch.
Captian Condescending and Captian Obvious are the same person! No wonder you never see them both in the same place!
In yesterday's Quick Links we mentioned how the main advantage of bottled water wasn't it's purity, but it's convenience. So you can imagine my total lack of surprise when I opened the paper this morning and saw that Fitzy had dedicated an entire column to the fact that bottled water is basically tap water. Oh my God! So shocking!
We'd love to agree with Fitzy because bottled water is essentially repackaged tap water, but he makes his point in such a condescending manner (which is really his trademark, hence the Captain Condescending moniker) that we can't help but disagree with him. Specifically this line:
I see that University of the Pacific students are swearing off bottled water. Lunatics elsewhere are not.
Lunatics? Really? We made this point yesterday but we'll do it again. The main selling point for bottled water is NOT its purity. It's the convenience of the bottle. You don't have to worry about spilling it like with a regular cup because of the screw on cap, but when you're done with it it's disposable. Frankly, I don't want to have to carry a fucking canteen with me after I finish off its contents. It's much easier to just throw away. Does that make me a thoughtless bastard? In the minds of hippies, yeah, probably. But hey, you can usually recycle those fucking bottles anyways. So using the waste excuse for water bottles is a moot point because they're recyclable and if you really wanted to, you could refill that cheap plastic bottle just like it's more expensive canteen brother. They're the same fucking thing. Only this time the theoretical PT Barnum is laughing at all the hippie douchebags carrying around a $4 cumbersome piece of plastic.
Oh, and about that cost part. Way to pick the most expensive version of bottled water. Vending machines in general are one giant ripoff because, again, they're there for convenience! Any asshole knows that you can go into a fucking store and buy a whole case of bottled water for wayyyyy cheaper than 5 cents an ounce. Using the vending machine price is like me saying clothing is overpriced and then citing the prices at Urban Outfitters or some other weaksauce hipster store with $100 jeans instead of citing the average prices. Nice try Fitz, but your argument doesn't hold water (rimshot).
Well, that's one way to get your case dismissed
Considering the way things have been going downtown lately, I'm surprised they didn't postpone this decision because the defendant wasn't present. There isn't really much to this story but it fits our death of obviousness theme today. Plus this line might be my new favorite joke involving journalism, mostly because they had to get a spokesperson to say it. I wish I had been in the room for this:
A dead person can't be prosecuted, a court spokeswoman said.
You just know there was some meeting where an editor told the writer that they needed to get somebody credible to corroborate it while the writer presumably slammed their head against their keyboard and questioned their career choice for the 35th time that day.
Saving the best for last
Economy in a nose dive!? What the fuck!? When did this happen!? How are we just hearing about this now!? Fucking A! Somebody has to do something! Oh my God, the stock market! When were you going to get around to telling us about this shit!? Thank God there's places like the UOP Business Forecasting Center to warn people about this economic freefall before it's too late! Quick! Get Governor Scwarzenegger and Barack Obama on the phone fast! They're going to want to hear about this as soon as possible! Man, it's a good thing we caught this early or else we might be really fucked.
Kind of reminds a guy why they got in to journalism in the first place. To inform the people of what they didn't know. And to think, people say newspapers are dying. (sigh) Somebody pass me the scotch.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
The actual Quick Links for April 2nd
Hey look, news! And not "Low level public official calls someone a dirty Commie news", actual news! Let's just dive right the fuck in.
Not guilty? Really?
Oh hey, Teen Slave's back in the news. Remember him? Nothing really earth shattering came out of this latest court appearance. They did add charges of child abuse in relation to Schumacher and Lau's 4 other kids. Oh, and everybody but Mike Schumacher plead not guilty (Schumacher needed time to look over the new charges). Which is funny considering Kelly Lau gave that jailhouse interview way back when this first started where she tried to pin the whole thing on the abusive non-aunt. Gotta love people from Tracy. When they bring the crazy, they fucking bring it
This just in! Bottled water is bullshit!
It's stories like these that make me fear for future generations. UOP really needs an entire awareness WEEK to tell people that bottled water isn't any more pure than tap water? Isn't that common knowledge? Bottled water is for convenience, not purity. Of course, being a college full of dirty hippies, UOP couldn't let that stand. So, if you sign a pledge they'll give you a reusable canteen so you don't damage the planet with all that wasteful plastic you throw away. Of course, really I'd probably just throw the canteen away after the first use because really it's no different than a regular water bottle, it just doesn't come prefilled with water. Leave it to dirty hippies to pass out refillable water containers to replace a water container that you can already technically refill. It's all about awareness man!
Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man, but I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man...
That was a fucking intimate encounter? This is why we rarely write stuff in advance. Less than a half hour after I posted the previous post, Fitzy posted the hermaphrodite story on his blog and it was ridiculously underwhelming. We were expecting something measured that would depict s/he as relatively normal but, you know, with both parts. But instead we get a story about some crazy fucking wiccan. I'm both relieved and disappointed at the same time. The writer tried to throw in stuff about duality and shit in there but frankly, it wasn't all that fascinating. She tried to paint s/he as someone who walks like a woman and talks like a man (Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Looooola!) but everything she says about s/he screams "insane woman" to me. They also sound suspiciously like this person. So congrats Fitzy, instead of helping out the transgendered, you just made people think they're more insane than most crazy women. At least I can stop worrying about Fitzy being too blue even for us. I also pray this is the last time I have to use the hermaphrodite tag.
Not guilty? Really?
Oh hey, Teen Slave's back in the news. Remember him? Nothing really earth shattering came out of this latest court appearance. They did add charges of child abuse in relation to Schumacher and Lau's 4 other kids. Oh, and everybody but Mike Schumacher plead not guilty (Schumacher needed time to look over the new charges). Which is funny considering Kelly Lau gave that jailhouse interview way back when this first started where she tried to pin the whole thing on the abusive non-aunt. Gotta love people from Tracy. When they bring the crazy, they fucking bring it
This just in! Bottled water is bullshit!
It's stories like these that make me fear for future generations. UOP really needs an entire awareness WEEK to tell people that bottled water isn't any more pure than tap water? Isn't that common knowledge? Bottled water is for convenience, not purity. Of course, being a college full of dirty hippies, UOP couldn't let that stand. So, if you sign a pledge they'll give you a reusable canteen so you don't damage the planet with all that wasteful plastic you throw away. Of course, really I'd probably just throw the canteen away after the first use because really it's no different than a regular water bottle, it just doesn't come prefilled with water. Leave it to dirty hippies to pass out refillable water containers to replace a water container that you can already technically refill. It's all about awareness man!
Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man, but I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man...
That was a fucking intimate encounter? This is why we rarely write stuff in advance. Less than a half hour after I posted the previous post, Fitzy posted the hermaphrodite story on his blog and it was ridiculously underwhelming. We were expecting something measured that would depict s/he as relatively normal but, you know, with both parts. But instead we get a story about some crazy fucking wiccan. I'm both relieved and disappointed at the same time. The writer tried to throw in stuff about duality and shit in there but frankly, it wasn't all that fascinating. She tried to paint s/he as someone who walks like a woman and talks like a man (Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Looooola!) but everything she says about s/he screams "insane woman" to me. They also sound suspiciously like this person. So congrats Fitzy, instead of helping out the transgendered, you just made people think they're more insane than most crazy women. At least I can stop worrying about Fitzy being too blue even for us. I also pray this is the last time I have to use the hermaphrodite tag.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Quick Links for March 31st
Oh hey, I finally stopped feeling like my head was trying to eat itself from the inside out (Note: this part was written earlier today. I don't get all day hangovers on $25 worth of drinks). I'm totally never drinking again...until tonight when the 7 jolly days of drinking continues. In honor of that, let's try and bang out some Quick Links.
Even when they time shit perfectly, the City Council has horrible timing
We almost missed this because the city announced this in the late-afternoon on a Friday in a classic newsdump, but guess what? Those cops are still probably getting laid off. Except now instead of 29, it's 45. And most of them found out after returning from the funeral for those 4 Oakland police officers. Yeah, it was a classy move.
Especially classy when you consider two things. The layoff notices were given to the lowest officers on the seniority chart, some who won't be laid off if officers with higher seniority decide to take the city's retirement buyout package thingy (its technical name by the way). So really, depending on who takes they early retirement thing, a lot of those officers won't actually be laid off. The other thing is, these were layoff notices announcing possible layoffs in June that we already fucking knew about. Sure, the addition of 16 more possible layoffs was surprising, but the last thing a guy wants to see when he just got back from a funeral is a reminder that his job is in jeopardy. It was the definition of a total dick move.
I guess we now have an idea as to how Fitzy voted in the Nasty Fetish Tourney
If I may channel Bill Simmons for a second...
There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there's this sentence from Mike Fitzgerald's blog:
The one thing that interest me was the hermaphrodite.
I don't really know what I can add to that. I swear to God I didn't make that up. That actually appeared in Fitzy's blog post about the closing of Gottschalks (wait, that was still open?). Is this some sort of joke? Like an early April Fool's Day kind of thing?
He barely even let's that sentence settle in before he assails you with the mental image of a deep-fried hermaphrodite (which was the most popular booth at the Oakdale Testicle Festivle by the way. And yes, that's real too. This is what happens when you take away the chocolate. And Yahoo deserves a Pulitzer for that headline and lead) without even so much as a warning. Again, I'm not kidding. I would make some sort of joke about how he seems way too eager to know about the sex life of a hermie but I'm just in total awe of that post. How the fuck is his blog more raunchy than mine today? That's just fucking depressing. And to think I thought his ego smothered his sense of humor in it's sleep years ago. Hey wait, what's this...
Time to rifle off a letter to the editor of National Lampoon!
Only Mike Fitzgerald would precede a deep-fried hermaphrodite joke by taking something written in the Onion too seriously. I guess this means his sense of humor really is dead. Which says all sorts of creepy things about the above item.
Ah, there's that joke I was looking for. I knew it'd show up eventually. Man, it feels good to laugh again.
Hippie fiiiiight!k
You know, we haven't checked in on Briefcase Breitler lately. Let's see what's going on over at his blog. What's this? Saturday was that lights out hour thing? And on top of that somebody counter-promoted an event just to piss all the dirty light pollution hippies off? That's fucking funny. Sure, it's not Fitzy wistfully reminiscing about his missed opportunity with a shemale funny, but it's still pretty hilarious. Of course, we're all for anything that pisses off those dirty hippies.
Even when they time shit perfectly, the City Council has horrible timing
We almost missed this because the city announced this in the late-afternoon on a Friday in a classic newsdump, but guess what? Those cops are still probably getting laid off. Except now instead of 29, it's 45. And most of them found out after returning from the funeral for those 4 Oakland police officers. Yeah, it was a classy move.
Especially classy when you consider two things. The layoff notices were given to the lowest officers on the seniority chart, some who won't be laid off if officers with higher seniority decide to take the city's retirement buyout package thingy (its technical name by the way). So really, depending on who takes they early retirement thing, a lot of those officers won't actually be laid off. The other thing is, these were layoff notices announcing possible layoffs in June that we already fucking knew about. Sure, the addition of 16 more possible layoffs was surprising, but the last thing a guy wants to see when he just got back from a funeral is a reminder that his job is in jeopardy. It was the definition of a total dick move.
I guess we now have an idea as to how Fitzy voted in the Nasty Fetish Tourney
If I may channel Bill Simmons for a second...
There's comedy, there's high comedy, and then there's this sentence from Mike Fitzgerald's blog:
The one thing that interest me was the hermaphrodite.
I don't really know what I can add to that. I swear to God I didn't make that up. That actually appeared in Fitzy's blog post about the closing of Gottschalks (wait, that was still open?). Is this some sort of joke? Like an early April Fool's Day kind of thing?
He barely even let's that sentence settle in before he assails you with the mental image of a deep-fried hermaphrodite (which was the most popular booth at the Oakdale Testicle Festivle by the way. And yes, that's real too. This is what happens when you take away the chocolate. And Yahoo deserves a Pulitzer for that headline and lead) without even so much as a warning. Again, I'm not kidding. I would make some sort of joke about how he seems way too eager to know about the sex life of a hermie but I'm just in total awe of that post. How the fuck is his blog more raunchy than mine today? That's just fucking depressing. And to think I thought his ego smothered his sense of humor in it's sleep years ago. Hey wait, what's this...
Time to rifle off a letter to the editor of National Lampoon!
Only Mike Fitzgerald would precede a deep-fried hermaphrodite joke by taking something written in the Onion too seriously. I guess this means his sense of humor really is dead. Which says all sorts of creepy things about the above item.
Ah, there's that joke I was looking for. I knew it'd show up eventually. Man, it feels good to laugh again.
Hippie fiiiiight!k
You know, we haven't checked in on Briefcase Breitler lately. Let's see what's going on over at his blog. What's this? Saturday was that lights out hour thing? And on top of that somebody counter-promoted an event just to piss all the dirty light pollution hippies off? That's fucking funny. Sure, it's not Fitzy wistfully reminiscing about his missed opportunity with a shemale funny, but it's still pretty hilarious. Of course, we're all for anything that pisses off those dirty hippies.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Quick Links for March 26th
What day is it? Thursday? Fuck. Why can't it be Sexy Friday? Let's look in the paper to see if anything happened. Oh look, jack shit. A-fucking-gain. Thank God the NCAA Tournament starts up again today. Finally basketball that actually matters will be in the news again.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure we're done with the Nasty Fetish Tourney until next week. I'm not entirely sure how long the second round voting is going to go for, but I'm fairly certain we won't be posting any more matchups until next week. Unless of course Punter asks us to post more, then we'd totally oblige. But until then, Quick Links!
Last time I checked people were allowed to not know who Ceaser Chavez was
We didn't touch on this in yesterday's Quick Links because we thought it was ridiculously unremarkable. Granted, we're surprised there's somebody living in the state of California that doesn't know who Cesar Chavez was, but we weren't offended by it. I mean Jesus, all he did was send a private e-mail reply that contained displayed his ignorance. He didn't make a racist comment like Jim Rachels. He asked a seemingly innocent (although, again, incredibly ignorant) question. He even realized his ignorance and profusely apologized before the story even hit the news. So we ask, what's the big fucking deal? Why is this story in it's second day?
We understand Cesar Chavez is an important figure in Latino history. But not knowing who he is shouldn't result in a fucking rally at a meeting. The dozen or so people who showed up showed up there specifically to garner press for their cause, and that's bullshit. It was a classic example of political grandstanding through the press. And they weren't even that fucking subtle about it. Yes, Bestolarides made an error in judgement. One he's admitted to. So there's absolutely no point in showing up to tell him he fucked up because he already knows he fucked up! And that's even if he did fuck up.
Frankly, not knowing/forgetting the history of something isn't that big of a deal. I've forgotten half the shit I learned in high school, does that mean I need protesting press whores handing me fucking history books? No, I'm free to know and not know whatever the fuck I want. Same goes for Bestolarides. He shouldn't be getting shit for his admitted ignorance.
David Siders is a live-blogging machine!
If I had known about this town hall meeting I probably would have shown up...ok, that's a lie. Wednesday night's are South Park night and last night's episode was a million times better than anything that went on last night with with City Council. I know this because David Siders did a running diary of the whole thing. Typical topics were discussed, bankruptcy, trees (of course), IFG, water (oh the unwarranted influence of Mike Fitzgerald), and Sanchez was there to do his usual grandstanding. (Bullshit public grandstanding is apparently today's theme in the Quick Links.) It's a fairly interesting read, but at the same time I'm glad I'm reading it and didn't actually have to experience it.
Misc. Shit
I usually try and have three items to write about in the Quick Links and today's so slow that I ca't do it. The story about the Tracy sub who allegedly molested some kids by touching their shoulder isn't inherently interesting. I blame teen slave for making all other forms of child abuse look tame by comparison. "Oh, some guy got off on rubbing your shoulder? I was chained to a fucking fireplace and force fed booze and pot! Beat that!"
UOP's early exit from the CI.CT was kind of funny but if it happens and nobody sees it, does it really even matter? And what does this mean for a team that for some God forsaken reason was hoping for an at large bid on Selection Sunday? Well, it means that people are retarded and couldn't remove themselves enough to see this team for what it was. A mediocre team at best that was crippled by the university's unsuccessful attempt to keep a rape allegation quiet. This team wasn't going to be good going into the season, wasn't good during the season, and didn't come through during their joke of a postseason. While I feel for the seniors who totally got screwed in this situation, it is what it is. The team was just not that good, and they couldn't even win the lowest level postseason tournament. Prolonging the season officially accomplished nothing. And that's why we'll continue to maintain that the CollegeInsider.com Tourney is fucking useless. The best case scenario for that tourney isn't even that great. Anything less than that is, well, fucking embarrassing.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure we're done with the Nasty Fetish Tourney until next week. I'm not entirely sure how long the second round voting is going to go for, but I'm fairly certain we won't be posting any more matchups until next week. Unless of course Punter asks us to post more, then we'd totally oblige. But until then, Quick Links!
Last time I checked people were allowed to not know who Ceaser Chavez was
We didn't touch on this in yesterday's Quick Links because we thought it was ridiculously unremarkable. Granted, we're surprised there's somebody living in the state of California that doesn't know who Cesar Chavez was, but we weren't offended by it. I mean Jesus, all he did was send a private e-mail reply that contained displayed his ignorance. He didn't make a racist comment like Jim Rachels. He asked a seemingly innocent (although, again, incredibly ignorant) question. He even realized his ignorance and profusely apologized before the story even hit the news. So we ask, what's the big fucking deal? Why is this story in it's second day?
We understand Cesar Chavez is an important figure in Latino history. But not knowing who he is shouldn't result in a fucking rally at a meeting. The dozen or so people who showed up showed up there specifically to garner press for their cause, and that's bullshit. It was a classic example of political grandstanding through the press. And they weren't even that fucking subtle about it. Yes, Bestolarides made an error in judgement. One he's admitted to. So there's absolutely no point in showing up to tell him he fucked up because he already knows he fucked up! And that's even if he did fuck up.
Frankly, not knowing/forgetting the history of something isn't that big of a deal. I've forgotten half the shit I learned in high school, does that mean I need protesting press whores handing me fucking history books? No, I'm free to know and not know whatever the fuck I want. Same goes for Bestolarides. He shouldn't be getting shit for his admitted ignorance.
David Siders is a live-blogging machine!
If I had known about this town hall meeting I probably would have shown up...ok, that's a lie. Wednesday night's are South Park night and last night's episode was a million times better than anything that went on last night with with City Council. I know this because David Siders did a running diary of the whole thing. Typical topics were discussed, bankruptcy, trees (of course), IFG, water (oh the unwarranted influence of Mike Fitzgerald), and Sanchez was there to do his usual grandstanding. (Bullshit public grandstanding is apparently today's theme in the Quick Links.) It's a fairly interesting read, but at the same time I'm glad I'm reading it and didn't actually have to experience it.
Misc. Shit
I usually try and have three items to write about in the Quick Links and today's so slow that I ca't do it. The story about the Tracy sub who allegedly molested some kids by touching their shoulder isn't inherently interesting. I blame teen slave for making all other forms of child abuse look tame by comparison. "Oh, some guy got off on rubbing your shoulder? I was chained to a fucking fireplace and force fed booze and pot! Beat that!"
UOP's early exit from the CI.CT was kind of funny but if it happens and nobody sees it, does it really even matter? And what does this mean for a team that for some God forsaken reason was hoping for an at large bid on Selection Sunday? Well, it means that people are retarded and couldn't remove themselves enough to see this team for what it was. A mediocre team at best that was crippled by the university's unsuccessful attempt to keep a rape allegation quiet. This team wasn't going to be good going into the season, wasn't good during the season, and didn't come through during their joke of a postseason. While I feel for the seniors who totally got screwed in this situation, it is what it is. The team was just not that good, and they couldn't even win the lowest level postseason tournament. Prolonging the season officially accomplished nothing. And that's why we'll continue to maintain that the CollegeInsider.com Tourney is fucking useless. The best case scenario for that tourney isn't even that great. Anything less than that is, well, fucking embarrassing.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Quick Links for March 25th
Thank God for the Nasty Fetish Tournament because jack and shit is going on this week. And no, UOP advancing to the semifinals of the CollegeInsider.com tournament is not news. Mostly because I'm pretty sure if I had tens of thousands of dollars to throw around I could grab the guys I play an occasional pickup game with and advance to the semis of that joke of a tournament.
Anyway, it's Wednesday and we haven't done a Quick Links yet this week. Which I'm pretty sure is a record or something. So yeah, Quick Links!
"Taxes? I thought that was part of our deal"
The plight of the Lexington Waterfront Plaza Hotel Bar and Grill and Feed 'n Fuel continues. This time they didn't pay a tax aimed pretty much directly at them. So not only are contractors not getting paid, but the city's not getting the revenue that was part of the reason they gave the old Sheraton such a sweet deal in the first place. Of course, they're blaming it on the fact that the hotel's still in bankruptcy court, which I guess is a decent enough excuse. But this whole situation does underscore how horrible of an idea building an upscale hotel in what's considered (correctly or not) one of the sketchier areas in town. That idea looks fucking golden though compared to the fact that the hotel's profitability hinged on the sale of multiple $700,000 condos on the top of the hotel. None of this is really new news, but like I said, jack shit's been going on this week. Although it is pretty funny that the VP of the hotel is also the chairman of the tourism board that the hotel tax presumably benefits.
Apparently we learned nothing from previous councils
We've said it before and we'll say it again, Arena's are not moneymakers! That being said we understand why the city's considering this. The Arena was maligned while it was being built, and 4 years later it has yet to turn a profit. Most people are ignorant to the fact that it's tough for any new arena to post a profit, especially when the tenants don't have a built in fan base. So Arena opponents have exploited that ignorance and have been calling for immediate action to rectify that. We're not Arena apologists, but immediate action is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place.
The major problem with the Arena and downtown redevelopment as a whole is that it all happened wayyyyy too fast. Podesto was eager to leave his mark on the city and wanted to get everything done before he was out of office. So everything got fast tracked. Want a movie theater? Boom! It's up. Ballpark? Booyah! Built whether we got the land through legal means or not. Arena? Why, that would be the crown jewel! Make it happen! And throw a hotel up there too while you're at it. What was missing in all of this? Well, for one, a chance to see if any of those things could actually succeed downtown. We all know how downtown was perceived pre-redevelopment. It was an area to be avoided unless you had a parking ticket or jury duty. The city did nothing to address those concerns outside throwing up some fences.
Instead of slowly coaxing us into checking out downtown they hijacked the Asparagus festival and forced us downtown. Instead of saying "Hey, we understand your safety concerns and we're doing something to address them" they said "Crime? What the fuck are you talking about? It's perfectly safe down there!" while stories in the paper told us about shootings in front of nightclubs and late night muggings. And while all of this is going on, they expect us to willingly go down there to support not one, not two, but four(!?) brand new venues/businesses. It's like they took the saying "put all your eggs in one basket" and shoved an 8-ball of booger sugar up it's nose.
If they had slowed down they would have seen that it takes time for any venue to be profitable by itself, let alone 3 of them. Instead the edict was clear "Get it done". And they did. And it's costing us big time when we can least afford it. And now it's causing us to consider horrible ideas to try and renegotiate a horrible contract.
We're not saying renegotiation isn't warranted. We're just saying that the city council needs to display the patience that the previous councils didn't. Learn from their mistakes. Immediate solutions aren't the best ones. The money to buy those teams has to come from somewhere. If it comes from bond dollars (not that anyone's indicated that's where it's coming from, but where the hell else is it going to come from, not a hotel tax, that's for sure), you're really just fucking the future to get shut done now. And if that happens have we really learned anything from this whole debacle?
Something for UOP to consider
This has no local connection but I thought this was pretty cool. Plus, we're featuring one reason the internet was created (the widespread distribution of porn), why not feature the other? Academic Earth is a project that feature lectures/courses from various prestigious universities that we have no chance of attending/affording. Of course linking to this kind of outs me as a huge nerd, but for those looking to further their education and don't have the financial means to do so, this site is a fairly good alternative. Even if it isn't worth some class credit. At the very least you'll feel better about yourself for not watching bootleg Simpsons episodes all night again. Plus if shit gets really boring you can just skip to the next lecture in the series. And you can totally smoke a bowl during class.
Anyway, it's Wednesday and we haven't done a Quick Links yet this week. Which I'm pretty sure is a record or something. So yeah, Quick Links!
"Taxes? I thought that was part of our deal"
The plight of the Lexington Waterfront Plaza Hotel Bar and Grill and Feed 'n Fuel continues. This time they didn't pay a tax aimed pretty much directly at them. So not only are contractors not getting paid, but the city's not getting the revenue that was part of the reason they gave the old Sheraton such a sweet deal in the first place. Of course, they're blaming it on the fact that the hotel's still in bankruptcy court, which I guess is a decent enough excuse. But this whole situation does underscore how horrible of an idea building an upscale hotel in what's considered (correctly or not) one of the sketchier areas in town. That idea looks fucking golden though compared to the fact that the hotel's profitability hinged on the sale of multiple $700,000 condos on the top of the hotel. None of this is really new news, but like I said, jack shit's been going on this week. Although it is pretty funny that the VP of the hotel is also the chairman of the tourism board that the hotel tax presumably benefits.
Apparently we learned nothing from previous councils
We've said it before and we'll say it again, Arena's are not moneymakers! That being said we understand why the city's considering this. The Arena was maligned while it was being built, and 4 years later it has yet to turn a profit. Most people are ignorant to the fact that it's tough for any new arena to post a profit, especially when the tenants don't have a built in fan base. So Arena opponents have exploited that ignorance and have been calling for immediate action to rectify that. We're not Arena apologists, but immediate action is kind of what got us into this mess in the first place.
The major problem with the Arena and downtown redevelopment as a whole is that it all happened wayyyyy too fast. Podesto was eager to leave his mark on the city and wanted to get everything done before he was out of office. So everything got fast tracked. Want a movie theater? Boom! It's up. Ballpark? Booyah! Built whether we got the land through legal means or not. Arena? Why, that would be the crown jewel! Make it happen! And throw a hotel up there too while you're at it. What was missing in all of this? Well, for one, a chance to see if any of those things could actually succeed downtown. We all know how downtown was perceived pre-redevelopment. It was an area to be avoided unless you had a parking ticket or jury duty. The city did nothing to address those concerns outside throwing up some fences.
Instead of slowly coaxing us into checking out downtown they hijacked the Asparagus festival and forced us downtown. Instead of saying "Hey, we understand your safety concerns and we're doing something to address them" they said "Crime? What the fuck are you talking about? It's perfectly safe down there!" while stories in the paper told us about shootings in front of nightclubs and late night muggings. And while all of this is going on, they expect us to willingly go down there to support not one, not two, but four(!?) brand new venues/businesses. It's like they took the saying "put all your eggs in one basket" and shoved an 8-ball of booger sugar up it's nose.
If they had slowed down they would have seen that it takes time for any venue to be profitable by itself, let alone 3 of them. Instead the edict was clear "Get it done". And they did. And it's costing us big time when we can least afford it. And now it's causing us to consider horrible ideas to try and renegotiate a horrible contract.
We're not saying renegotiation isn't warranted. We're just saying that the city council needs to display the patience that the previous councils didn't. Learn from their mistakes. Immediate solutions aren't the best ones. The money to buy those teams has to come from somewhere. If it comes from bond dollars (not that anyone's indicated that's where it's coming from, but where the hell else is it going to come from, not a hotel tax, that's for sure), you're really just fucking the future to get shut done now. And if that happens have we really learned anything from this whole debacle?
Something for UOP to consider
This has no local connection but I thought this was pretty cool. Plus, we're featuring one reason the internet was created (the widespread distribution of porn), why not feature the other? Academic Earth is a project that feature lectures/courses from various prestigious universities that we have no chance of attending/affording. Of course linking to this kind of outs me as a huge nerd, but for those looking to further their education and don't have the financial means to do so, this site is a fairly good alternative. Even if it isn't worth some class credit. At the very least you'll feel better about yourself for not watching bootleg Simpsons episodes all night again. Plus if shit gets really boring you can just skip to the next lecture in the series. And you can totally smoke a bowl during class.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Quick Links for March 20th
Fuck, I'm sick as a dog. I'd call in sick but I had to get sick during one of the two days where calling in sick is most abused, so nobody would believe me anyway. No word yet on the KSK Nasty Fetish Tourney. The matchups will go up as soon as Punter sends them to us. The fact that just announcing the tourney is coming here may have resulted in links to us being taken down on more respectable sites brings me some sick kind of joy. I wonder if that's a fetish we can sneak into the FetishInsider.com tourney. No way in hell we'd get hoodwinked into paying for hosting that tournament like some places I know. Hey, speaking of, Quick Links!
Hey guys, this matters! Really! We're still playing! Pay attention!
For those who don't know, UOP paid a pretty penny ($28,500 a round actually) to host the CollegeInsider.com Tournament. Why? I'll never know. I didn't been know there was a tournament past the NIT, let alone two. Apparently I'm not the only one as the opening game only drew 1,876 fans and UOP was said to have lost up to $10,000 hosting the game. So AD Lynn King promptly signed them up to host the quarterfinals. Makes total sense.
Of course after posting that dismal attendance number UOP's going on the offensive and trying to position the tournament as meaningful when it's anything but. The CollegeInsider.com Tourney is just a giant waste of money. Sure, it gives seniors and extra couple of games to play, but who really cares? We're all in the midst of watching the highest quality college basketball, who would then want to go back to watching a team that couldn't even make the other 2 postseason tournaments. The quality of play is just too low. Plus, what's really the best case scenario? Let's say UOP runs the table and wins the whole shebang, where does that rank them nationally? There are 3 other tournaments considered higher in prestige than the first year CollegeInsider.com tourney. Assuming they all field 65 teams, UOP's tourney victory would rank them 195th or so (math's not my strong suit) in the nation. Is that really worth the roughly $127,000 UOP would have to pay to host all 4 rounds? Couldn't that money have gone towards something better? Hey, what's this....
It doesn't matter if you're good looking, it doesn't matter if you wear Dungarees, it doesn't matter if you're fun to be around. Sooner or later, you're going to get raped
You know, $127k seems like a decent amount of hush money. I bet they could have offered that money to this broad and avoid the bad press instead of paying to play in a tournament where your second round opponent harbors one of the spurned alleged rapists. We're not coming down one way or the other on the whole rape issue, we don't know the details, but one would thing UOP would have made sure that this story wouldn't pop up a year later. Especially during a time when most kids and their parents are deciding on colleges. And double-especially with their unfortunate second round matchup in their Mickey Mouse tournament. Words can't express how disappointed I am that Steffan Johnson is ineligible for this game. That's how you pack an arena, with an alleged rapist. Just ask Don King.
I wonder how Fitzy feels about tree rape's seeding in the fetish tourney
Apparently Fitzy's new goal is to include as little actual information in his columns as possible. First there was his community-owned team idea where one of his reasons (the top reason actually) for owning the team was "We'd be Gods". The meaning of which is still not entirely certain. And now he's doing retreads from his blog (which we would link to if the Record's search engine was anything resembling competent). Of course Fitzy's long crusade for trees seems like one giant retread because he rarely says anything new. Urban forest is dying, City Hall is blowing it if they don't address the issue, city will be ugly without trees, volunteer to help, blah blah fucking blah. Who needs new information? It's not like he writes for a newspaper or anything.
Special preview! Don Blount sees typewriters!
And if you thought a column about trees was exciting, wait til you read Don Blount's column about antiquing or something. What information will be revealed? Probably none, other than the fact that typewriters are old any nobody uses them anymore, which means college hipsters are going to start buying them all up and turning in typewritten term papers for irony's sake. And you know what that means, trend piece! That sound you hear is journalism dying a little bit.
Hey guys, this matters! Really! We're still playing! Pay attention!
For those who don't know, UOP paid a pretty penny ($28,500 a round actually) to host the CollegeInsider.com Tournament. Why? I'll never know. I didn't been know there was a tournament past the NIT, let alone two. Apparently I'm not the only one as the opening game only drew 1,876 fans and UOP was said to have lost up to $10,000 hosting the game. So AD Lynn King promptly signed them up to host the quarterfinals. Makes total sense.
Of course after posting that dismal attendance number UOP's going on the offensive and trying to position the tournament as meaningful when it's anything but. The CollegeInsider.com Tourney is just a giant waste of money. Sure, it gives seniors and extra couple of games to play, but who really cares? We're all in the midst of watching the highest quality college basketball, who would then want to go back to watching a team that couldn't even make the other 2 postseason tournaments. The quality of play is just too low. Plus, what's really the best case scenario? Let's say UOP runs the table and wins the whole shebang, where does that rank them nationally? There are 3 other tournaments considered higher in prestige than the first year CollegeInsider.com tourney. Assuming they all field 65 teams, UOP's tourney victory would rank them 195th or so (math's not my strong suit) in the nation. Is that really worth the roughly $127,000 UOP would have to pay to host all 4 rounds? Couldn't that money have gone towards something better? Hey, what's this....
It doesn't matter if you're good looking, it doesn't matter if you wear Dungarees, it doesn't matter if you're fun to be around. Sooner or later, you're going to get raped
You know, $127k seems like a decent amount of hush money. I bet they could have offered that money to this broad and avoid the bad press instead of paying to play in a tournament where your second round opponent harbors one of the spurned alleged rapists. We're not coming down one way or the other on the whole rape issue, we don't know the details, but one would thing UOP would have made sure that this story wouldn't pop up a year later. Especially during a time when most kids and their parents are deciding on colleges. And double-especially with their unfortunate second round matchup in their Mickey Mouse tournament. Words can't express how disappointed I am that Steffan Johnson is ineligible for this game. That's how you pack an arena, with an alleged rapist. Just ask Don King.
I wonder how Fitzy feels about tree rape's seeding in the fetish tourney
Apparently Fitzy's new goal is to include as little actual information in his columns as possible. First there was his community-owned team idea where one of his reasons (the top reason actually) for owning the team was "We'd be Gods". The meaning of which is still not entirely certain. And now he's doing retreads from his blog (which we would link to if the Record's search engine was anything resembling competent). Of course Fitzy's long crusade for trees seems like one giant retread because he rarely says anything new. Urban forest is dying, City Hall is blowing it if they don't address the issue, city will be ugly without trees, volunteer to help, blah blah fucking blah. Who needs new information? It's not like he writes for a newspaper or anything.
Special preview! Don Blount sees typewriters!
And if you thought a column about trees was exciting, wait til you read Don Blount's column about antiquing or something. What information will be revealed? Probably none, other than the fact that typewriters are old any nobody uses them anymore, which means college hipsters are going to start buying them all up and turning in typewritten term papers for irony's sake. And you know what that means, trend piece! That sound you hear is journalism dying a little bit.
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