Please allow me this quick detour into state politics, we'll get back to your regularly scheduled "The Record did what!?" later. (Note: We linked to the AP instead of the Record because even though the linked story appeared on the front page and above the fold, it's nowhere to be found on the "#1" recordnet.com. But like I said, that's for later.)
If you've been paying attention to the news then you know that California's in the middle of yet another budget impasse. That's right, these fuckers can't figure out the budget. Again. Why the fuck do we keep electing these jackasses?
Because of the record-long delay in the state budget, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger imposed a pay cut for thousands of state employees until the budget crisis is over. Yeah, I know, kind of a dick move. But the state controller isn't complying so it's not actually happening yet. (Plus, isn't that threatened when this happens every fucking summer?)
The president of the California Correction Peace Officers Association Mike Jimenez is pissed. Why? They've been working without a union contract for 2 years. Also, under Arnie's unenforced executive order they wouldn't be able to work overtime unless they were (gasp!) asked to by their supervisors. I know, I'm shocked they're not just allowed to work overtime whenever they feel like too. What has the world come to? Oh wait...
If the state controller isn't complying with Gov. Schwarzenegger's order, then his order doesn't fucking matter. Plus, even if it was enforced, it goes away after they finally hammer out that budget that they're just going to butcher up later in the year anyways. So really, it behooves everybody to help out so they can bang it out and only have a couple weeks of supervisor approved overtime.
Instead Jimenez goes to the old standby the Recall election. Because nothing helps move a budget crisis along like dumping a $2 million special election on top of the deficit. (If you really want to fix the budget, might I suggest Barbara Perry's idea? Hint: scroll down to the last letter. Thanks again Recordnet.)
I had to cover the last recall election and to be honest, one was enough. Granted, I don't think Schwarzenegger's done the best job either, but he got legitimatly reelected in an actual factual election. I don't see any energy crisis (OK, there's no electrical energy crisis. Remember the weak ass rolling blackouts?), so what the fuck did he do so bad to warrant us having to vote on him again?
What's that? He won't give the prison guards a fucking sweetheart raise under dubious donation circumstances like his predecessor? Well fuck me ruuning, what an awful guy. What we need is someone who will sign whatever law he feels like since he's obviously on the way out of office. We need a guy who will sign an energy contract for what at the time seems like a ridiculous amount only for it to be a bargin in retrospect.
If you wanted a Governor like Gray Davis, you shouldn't have gotten the asshole recalled in the first place. We've had enough elections in the past 4 years (including Arnie's own special election). Can't we just take a political break? I really fucking need one.
Showing posts with label wastes of our tax dollars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wastes of our tax dollars. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Friday, September 5, 2008
I need to post this now before my head explodes with smug satisfaction
Earlier today I was going to do a post about the colossal fuck up that is the rodeo coming to Stockton. God it was glorious. For those who aren't up to speed, the city got duped by a fucking cowboy into putting up $75,000 of public money that we totally didn't need to bring the rodeo to Stockton. The promoter Bryan Bjork didn't put the prize money in escrow to guarantee it's existence. He also lied to us about the involvement of big time rodeo organizations. (Well, big time for rodeo.) For a day, the Record tried to talk us into the minor league rodeo show that we would have to deal with. Well, we'd have to put the irony of the Arena not being able to get yet another professional sport to come to Stockton aside. (Minor League RODEO!?)
The rodeo's not coming.
(Note: Have to link to 209Vibe's Twitter because they actually had the story. The Record just tells you read about it in the paper. No really, the byline says it's by the actual newspaper.)
(Update: Recordnet.com posted the full story today. Which is more than likely a hilarious example ofthem not knowing that the Internet can be used as a tool to counteract that whole "yesterday's news today" knock print journalism always gets. due dilligence.)
Ignoring the fact that Recordnet.com sucks my ballsack, this hilarious revelation of the rodeo's "rescheduling" is another classic example of our city government's ineptness. Which may have come up here a time or two.
The rodeo's not coming.
(Note: Have to link to 209Vibe's Twitter because they actually had the story. The Record just tells you read about it in the paper. No really, the byline says it's by the actual newspaper.)
(Update: Recordnet.com posted the full story today. Which is more than likely a hilarious example of
Ignoring the fact that Recordnet.com sucks my ballsack, this hilarious revelation of the rodeo's "rescheduling" is another classic example of our city government's ineptness. Which may have come up here a time or two.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
It's a good thing city money was spend to help subsidze totally successful businesses...
Time for a quick lesson in print journalism. One thing journalists pride themselves on (and something that's always brought up in the blogs v. print debate) is objectivity. While complete objectivity is rarely attained anymore these days, newspaper writers try their best to remain somewhat balanced. One place objectivity has no business though is the opinions page.
On the opinions page, any douchebag with a computer can send a letter to the editor bitching about anything ranging from nitpicking the Record's following of the AP style guide to "The CHP shouldn't have shot my son. even though he was in process of running from the police, he was a good boy!" (I know if I led the cops on a chase of any sort of speed my dad would probably shoot me himself.) Or if you want surprisingly relevant letters to the editor, you can always try here. (Scroll down to "City officials should feel repercussions")
The opinions page is also home to the editorial staff. The one group of people not reviewing shit that get to post opinionated pieces daily. The way editorials classically work is the staff gets together and picks a subject, then together they form an opinion and have somebody write it without a byline so it represents the opinion of the newspaper as a whole. Which is why we're slightly confused as to why the editorial staff failed to state an actual opinion yesterday.
As far as either Dukè or I can tell, the only real opinion stated is that Stockton's finances are in trouble, oh and the next City Council is going to have a lot of work to do. Really? I thought we were doing just peachy. I thought they'd be able to just kick back and reap the benefits of a successfully revitalized downtown. Allow me to show you how to actually state an opinion Record staff.
The problem stated in the article/column is that the city overestimated the amount of tax revenue they'd be receiving during the all too obvious econmic downturn we're experiencing. From the Record:
"Mark Moses, the city's chief financial officer, estimates that revenue from sales, property and other taxes will fall about $11.4 million below the amount estimated in May, when the fiscal 2008-09 budget was adopted."
Has that much really changed in the last 3 months? I'm pretty sure I was feeling the same economic crunch in May that I'm feeling now. And as the Record's told us a few times over the past couple months, I'm not the only one. Did they think the economy was going to do anything but get worse in the coming months? If the did they're the only ones. How do I know? The Record told me so:
"That's (ed. note: "That's" being decreased tax revenue due to the economic downturn) correctable, of course, if the economy suddenly turns around. But no economic experts expect that to happen. (note: emphasis ours) Rather, any recovery is likely to be prolonged and painful."
So nobody should be counting on an influx of tax dollars anytime soon. Which means we'll probably have to cut funding to some public services. The service who receives the most public money is the police (who apparently aren't spending it on driving lessons). So I don't think it'd be much of a stretch to assume that the police will probably have to do without some of their budgetarily promised monies. (After the previously linked buyouts and furloughs are inevitably fucked up by city leaders) Sorry guys, guess you're not getting that raise.
And if we can't afford to pay for essential services such as public safety, we sure as hell can't be spending it on frivolous shit right? Don't tell that to Fitzy, he wants us to buy a fucking boat. Not just any boat, a boat built here half a century ago. A boat that soon won't legally be able to operate. A boat that comes with an assload of legal work to it. I'm all for off the wall ideas, but saying we should buy a useless boat on the same day the paper says we can't even afford to pay for essential public services is just going to make somebody look like a dumbass.
Oh, and I'll have more on this later, but this has to be one of the more vindicating things I've read in a long time. Suckers.
On the opinions page, any douchebag with a computer can send a letter to the editor bitching about anything ranging from nitpicking the Record's following of the AP style guide to "The CHP shouldn't have shot my son. even though he was in process of running from the police, he was a good boy!" (I know if I led the cops on a chase of any sort of speed my dad would probably shoot me himself.) Or if you want surprisingly relevant letters to the editor, you can always try here. (Scroll down to "City officials should feel repercussions")
The opinions page is also home to the editorial staff. The one group of people not reviewing shit that get to post opinionated pieces daily. The way editorials classically work is the staff gets together and picks a subject, then together they form an opinion and have somebody write it without a byline so it represents the opinion of the newspaper as a whole. Which is why we're slightly confused as to why the editorial staff failed to state an actual opinion yesterday.
As far as either Dukè or I can tell, the only real opinion stated is that Stockton's finances are in trouble, oh and the next City Council is going to have a lot of work to do. Really? I thought we were doing just peachy. I thought they'd be able to just kick back and reap the benefits of a successfully revitalized downtown. Allow me to show you how to actually state an opinion Record staff.
The problem stated in the article/column is that the city overestimated the amount of tax revenue they'd be receiving during the all too obvious econmic downturn we're experiencing. From the Record:
"Mark Moses, the city's chief financial officer, estimates that revenue from sales, property and other taxes will fall about $11.4 million below the amount estimated in May, when the fiscal 2008-09 budget was adopted."
Has that much really changed in the last 3 months? I'm pretty sure I was feeling the same economic crunch in May that I'm feeling now. And as the Record's told us a few times over the past couple months, I'm not the only one. Did they think the economy was going to do anything but get worse in the coming months? If the did they're the only ones. How do I know? The Record told me so:
"That's (ed. note: "That's" being decreased tax revenue due to the economic downturn) correctable, of course, if the economy suddenly turns around. But no economic experts expect that to happen. (note: emphasis ours) Rather, any recovery is likely to be prolonged and painful."
So nobody should be counting on an influx of tax dollars anytime soon. Which means we'll probably have to cut funding to some public services. The service who receives the most public money is the police (who apparently aren't spending it on driving lessons). So I don't think it'd be much of a stretch to assume that the police will probably have to do without some of their budgetarily promised monies. (After the previously linked buyouts and furloughs are inevitably fucked up by city leaders) Sorry guys, guess you're not getting that raise.
And if we can't afford to pay for essential services such as public safety, we sure as hell can't be spending it on frivolous shit right? Don't tell that to Fitzy, he wants us to buy a fucking boat. Not just any boat, a boat built here half a century ago. A boat that soon won't legally be able to operate. A boat that comes with an assload of legal work to it. I'm all for off the wall ideas, but saying we should buy a useless boat on the same day the paper says we can't even afford to pay for essential public services is just going to make somebody look like a dumbass.
Oh, and I'll have more on this later, but this has to be one of the more vindicating things I've read in a long time. Suckers.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
San Joaquin Delta College, Consult it!
I'm outskis after this. See you guys next week. Hope Duke doesn't get too sentimental with tomorrows BWDW Special Edition
This Delta College shit will not go away. This week the venerable Delta Board of Trustees approved handing a quarter of a million dollars to a consultant to tell them how to spend their bond money. Kathy Roach is said consultant and her job is to fix a mess that the college has blamed on past consultants. In other words, they hired a consultant to consult them on how to fix problems caused by a consultant.
Not too bad so far right? Except for that part near the end of the article where they pay the consulting firm that fucked up twice as much for only 6 months work. Can we get some one to consult the consultant on how to consult the Trustees on paying the consultants?
This Delta College shit will not go away. This week the venerable Delta Board of Trustees approved handing a quarter of a million dollars to a consultant to tell them how to spend their bond money. Kathy Roach is said consultant and her job is to fix a mess that the college has blamed on past consultants. In other words, they hired a consultant to consult them on how to fix problems caused by a consultant.
Not too bad so far right? Except for that part near the end of the article where they pay the consulting firm that fucked up twice as much for only 6 months work. Can we get some one to consult the consultant on how to consult the Trustees on paying the consultants?
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Delta College Board of Trustes apparently run by Captain Obvious
A couple weeks ago I tore apart Delta College (not literally, although I understand if you think so by looking at the place.) for mismanagement of voter approved bond money.
It continues to baffle me how the Delta trustees could be so short sighted to not realize that contruction estimates are notoriously lowballed all the fucking time (just ask city leaders about the Arena's estimate). Not to mention that their dedication to buiding the campus in Mountain House was borderline stalkerish. To be honest, I've lived here my entire life and I'd never even heard of Mountain House until Delta decided to buy up a plot of land there for the Mountain House campus.
Whenever voter approved dollars are misused, we of course have to waste more tax dollars to find out who fucked up. And the San Joaquin County civil grand jury found that the Delta College trustees "made decisions which have caused serious problems and wasted millions of dollars in Measure L funds." Pretty much echoing what anybody who's been paying attention knew.
What did those of us paying attention know? The grand jury put it best, "The district needs capable trustees who are able to meet the task of bringing Delta College into the 21st century." Ouch. Take that Anthony Bugarin.
But that's all old news. That grand jury report isn't anything knew. What is new is that the trustees themselves finally admitted that they know they fucked up big time too, making them the last people in the entire county to find out that they're shitty at their jobs. Better late than never I guess.
It continues to baffle me how the Delta trustees could be so short sighted to not realize that contruction estimates are notoriously lowballed all the fucking time (just ask city leaders about the Arena's estimate). Not to mention that their dedication to buiding the campus in Mountain House was borderline stalkerish. To be honest, I've lived here my entire life and I'd never even heard of Mountain House until Delta decided to buy up a plot of land there for the Mountain House campus.
Whenever voter approved dollars are misused, we of course have to waste more tax dollars to find out who fucked up. And the San Joaquin County civil grand jury found that the Delta College trustees "made decisions which have caused serious problems and wasted millions of dollars in Measure L funds." Pretty much echoing what anybody who's been paying attention knew.
What did those of us paying attention know? The grand jury put it best, "The district needs capable trustees who are able to meet the task of bringing Delta College into the 21st century." Ouch. Take that Anthony Bugarin.
But that's all old news. That grand jury report isn't anything knew. What is new is that the trustees themselves finally admitted that they know they fucked up big time too, making them the last people in the entire county to find out that they're shitty at their jobs. Better late than never I guess.
Friday, August 15, 2008
That bond measure was an assload of help
I've lived my entire life in Stockton. Since I've spent a portion of my post high school years here, there's a 115% chance I went to Delta for at least semester. One of my biggest beefs during my time in the 13th grade was the parking situation. Anybody who went to Delta knows what I'm talking about. If you get there anytime after 7, you're parking in west bumfuck nowhere (Also known as Shima 2). Being, you know, a college student, I didn't even wake up until 7. And I was one of the early birds. All of this is before we even begin to discuss trying to leave Delta immediatly after class. One time I was happy I was able to get out of there under a half hour. In short, Delta's fucked up.
I've since stopped attending "High School: The Sequel". Probably the smartest thing I ever did. One of the big things that went down before I left was the passing of venerable bond Measure L. At the time all of my teachers were telling their classes how awesome this bill would make the school and how it would help out the Tracy students with that awesome Mountain House campus. Even though the "School of Lost Potential" is right on the other side of the Altamont.
Needless to say, that hasn't been the case. The Mountain House campus remains one of the most controversial items in Delta Trustee meetings. The only (completed) visible results of the bond measure have been the fancy new electric signs on both the Pershing and Pacific entrances to the campus. Oh, and those flat screen TVs they put up in Danner Hall that are toooootally helpful and needed. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, they completly fucked up the parking situation even more.
For Delta's 20,000 students, there's normally 5,000 parking spaces. So they do the logical thing, knock out 1,000 of those spots, lowering the total to 4,000. With 5 times as many students as parking spots, Delta must be working towards some sort of solution. The parking situation was hairy before they knocked out a thousand spots and fucked up access to two more parking lots. So obviously they're building a parking garage or something to alleviate the problem once and for all.
Oh wait. They're building a fucking soccer field? Are you serious? They're permamently killing a parking lot to promote the most useless of activities that is JuCo sports? Where the fuck do they expect students to park? What's that? They spent how much on renting out spaces at Weberstown? 10 fucking grand? They were parking there anyways, for fucking free! Why rent out spaces that were already being used? To make sure they were available? A bulk of Delta's students are doneski by noon. Go to the mall at noon, it's a god damned ghost town. I'm pretty sure the spaces will be there.
Thanks for wasting my money Delta. Your mismanagement of funds has resulted in making the entire area sour towards the idea of ever letting you jackasses even utter the words "bond measure" again. And guess who's stuck paying off this fuck up of a bond measure? Me and my kids. Thanks assholes.
I've since stopped attending "High School: The Sequel". Probably the smartest thing I ever did. One of the big things that went down before I left was the passing of venerable bond Measure L. At the time all of my teachers were telling their classes how awesome this bill would make the school and how it would help out the Tracy students with that awesome Mountain House campus. Even though the "School of Lost Potential" is right on the other side of the Altamont.
Needless to say, that hasn't been the case. The Mountain House campus remains one of the most controversial items in Delta Trustee meetings. The only (completed) visible results of the bond measure have been the fancy new electric signs on both the Pershing and Pacific entrances to the campus. Oh, and those flat screen TVs they put up in Danner Hall that are toooootally helpful and needed. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, they completly fucked up the parking situation even more.
For Delta's 20,000 students, there's normally 5,000 parking spaces. So they do the logical thing, knock out 1,000 of those spots, lowering the total to 4,000. With 5 times as many students as parking spots, Delta must be working towards some sort of solution. The parking situation was hairy before they knocked out a thousand spots and fucked up access to two more parking lots. So obviously they're building a parking garage or something to alleviate the problem once and for all.
Oh wait. They're building a fucking soccer field? Are you serious? They're permamently killing a parking lot to promote the most useless of activities that is JuCo sports? Where the fuck do they expect students to park? What's that? They spent how much on renting out spaces at Weberstown? 10 fucking grand? They were parking there anyways, for fucking free! Why rent out spaces that were already being used? To make sure they were available? A bulk of Delta's students are doneski by noon. Go to the mall at noon, it's a god damned ghost town. I'm pretty sure the spaces will be there.
Thanks for wasting my money Delta. Your mismanagement of funds has resulted in making the entire area sour towards the idea of ever letting you jackasses even utter the words "bond measure" again. And guess who's stuck paying off this fuck up of a bond measure? Me and my kids. Thanks assholes.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Shocking News! Feds make promise they don't intend on keeping!
I think we've finally ironed out our computer problems. No more posting from a friend's house for us! This place should finally get its legs under it soon. Promise.
Anybody who's spent more that a week in Stockton has more than likely gotten thirsty without a water bottle nearby. You try and hold on. "Maybe this beer will help quench my thirst," you say. And while delicious, you realize that since you've spent more than a day in San Joaquin County and have been drinking since the moment you got here. Mostly because drinking is the only real thing to do around these parts. (Hey, you try and find something entertaining to do in Tracy. I guarantee you end up at The Great Plate.)
So we've set the scene, your body is screaming at you to put something non-alcoholic in it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Tap water. You go to the sink and hope for the best. Unfortunately something resembling Mountain Dew comes out. Only nowhere near as delicious.
Yeah, the water sucks. But isn't relief on the way? I'm sure our city leaders are aware of this. I mean, they have to live in the city to lead it. Surely they know the condition of the city water. So what's your plan city?
Ask the federal government to extend our rights to to dam water from a dam that's 35 years behind schedule.
Ummmm, it might be time to move on. But you stick with that plan guys. I'm going to try and find a way to divert water from the underground wells in Morada. Race ya!
Anybody who's spent more that a week in Stockton has more than likely gotten thirsty without a water bottle nearby. You try and hold on. "Maybe this beer will help quench my thirst," you say. And while delicious, you realize that since you've spent more than a day in San Joaquin County and have been drinking since the moment you got here. Mostly because drinking is the only real thing to do around these parts. (Hey, you try and find something entertaining to do in Tracy. I guarantee you end up at The Great Plate.)
So we've set the scene, your body is screaming at you to put something non-alcoholic in it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Tap water. You go to the sink and hope for the best. Unfortunately something resembling Mountain Dew comes out. Only nowhere near as delicious.
Yeah, the water sucks. But isn't relief on the way? I'm sure our city leaders are aware of this. I mean, they have to live in the city to lead it. Surely they know the condition of the city water. So what's your plan city?
Ask the federal government to extend our rights to to dam water from a dam that's 35 years behind schedule.
Ummmm, it might be time to move on. But you stick with that plan guys. I'm going to try and find a way to divert water from the underground wells in Morada. Race ya!
Friday, July 11, 2008
Celebrate Stockton, Celebrate (percieved) Crime
The front page of the Record yesterday was a story about Roger Brooks' latest powerpoint presentaion. Brooks is the consultant out of Seattle Stockton spends our tax dollars on to tell us how to help "brand" Stockton. You may remember him from his previous jobs in helping out the cities of Turlock and Angels Camp. Hell of a job Brooksy.
You probably remember him from that time he suggested that Stockton be a tourist destination branded "The Event City".
Yeah, now he admits that probably wasn't the best idea. His the solution? An even shittier idea. How shittier? Let's look at his list of suggestions, shall we? (List via the previously linked Record article)
-Make downtown look festive by installing colorful light-pole banners and displaying art in empty storefronts.
Festive banners? "Oh my, there can't be crime here, they have fancy banners up." "You know, I was gonna gonna go buy some pot downtown, but I decided not too after I saw those festive banners." See how ridiculous that sounds? My friend was recently in a downtown area that had festive looking banners. Unfortunatly it was downtown Salt Lake City. He said it was still boring as shit. And I don't think there's nearly enough art in the world to fill all those empty storefronts.
-Build a covered, permanent farmers market at Weber Point Events Center. (From here on referred to as WPEC)
Actually there's nothing really wrong with this idea. Except for when the Asparagus Festival rolls around. Then it might get in the way. Plus the huge fences surrounding the WPEC will help keep the bad element out.
-Remove fences around WPEC, the Sheraton Hotel and elsewhere downtown. The fences, Brooks said, reinforce the inaccurate perception that downtown is unsafe. "It drives us nuts, the lockdown mentality you have in your downtown," he said.
Wait what? Has this guy been downtown? Or did the city just e-mail a bunch of pictures to his offices in Seattle? I've made my thoughts about this "perception problem" that city officials think we have pretty clear. It's bullshit. Hell, I served jury duty late last year and I felt unsafe. And I was walking around the place where the laws are freaking upheld. Those fences are the only thing keeping the Sheraton from being covered head to toe in graffiti.
-Pump music into WPEC, Dean De Carli Waterfront Square and other places downtown. The music selection could change depending on the time of day, season or event.
Are we talking about downtown or a mall? Considering who'd be in charge of the playlist, I don't really feel like listening to smooth jazz when I'm headed to Bradley's. Of course the other side of the spectrum is pumping in the dulcet tones of Tizzle and Okwerdz. Which would be hilarious. I take it back, great idea.
-Install a free Wi-Fi network throughout downtown to allow people to work outdoors and linger at sidewalk coffee shops and cafes
He wants us to bring our computers downtown? I don't feel safe walking around with my $50 cell phone, let alone a $1,000 laptop. But I just pervieved my cell phone getting jacked when I was downtown last year. Didn't actually happen.
-Install an iconic water feature, such as a geyser, in the Stockton Deep Water Channel. "It's doesn't have to be the Bellagio, but something out there," he said
Man, that sounds really familiar. Maybe it's because we already have one of those at the WPEC.
Of course I saved the best suggestion for last. (In my words, not The Record's)
-Festivly decorate the police cars by painting the white and pink to give people a softer view of the police department.
I'll let that one sink in for a second.
...
Done laughing yet? No? It's ok, I got time.
...
Now? No? No worries
...
I'd say how terrible of an idea this is, but Chief Tom Morris (I'm assuming chief of police, but the article doesn't say, so he could be the indian chief from the Village People for all we know) puts it way more eloquently than I can. (Via the same article)
"I think the people in our community don't want a softer image of the Police Department," Chief Tom Morris said. "They want a professional and visible police force that will impact our violent crime rate." He said "the expense of painting police cars white and pink" would do nothing for that.
Well put. Speaking of expenses, I wonder how much it cost to pay this guy to come up with these brilliant ideas. Luckily it tells us later in the article that we're paying him $125,000. At least $50,000 of it coming from our tax dollars. Is it too late to get a refund?
You probably remember him from that time he suggested that Stockton be a tourist destination branded "The Event City".
Yeah, now he admits that probably wasn't the best idea. His the solution? An even shittier idea. How shittier? Let's look at his list of suggestions, shall we? (List via the previously linked Record article)
-Make downtown look festive by installing colorful light-pole banners and displaying art in empty storefronts.
Festive banners? "Oh my, there can't be crime here, they have fancy banners up." "You know, I was gonna gonna go buy some pot downtown, but I decided not too after I saw those festive banners." See how ridiculous that sounds? My friend was recently in a downtown area that had festive looking banners. Unfortunatly it was downtown Salt Lake City. He said it was still boring as shit. And I don't think there's nearly enough art in the world to fill all those empty storefronts.
-Build a covered, permanent farmers market at Weber Point Events Center. (From here on referred to as WPEC)
Actually there's nothing really wrong with this idea. Except for when the Asparagus Festival rolls around. Then it might get in the way. Plus the huge fences surrounding the WPEC will help keep the bad element out.
-Remove fences around WPEC, the Sheraton Hotel and elsewhere downtown. The fences, Brooks said, reinforce the inaccurate perception that downtown is unsafe. "It drives us nuts, the lockdown mentality you have in your downtown," he said.
Wait what? Has this guy been downtown? Or did the city just e-mail a bunch of pictures to his offices in Seattle? I've made my thoughts about this "perception problem" that city officials think we have pretty clear. It's bullshit. Hell, I served jury duty late last year and I felt unsafe. And I was walking around the place where the laws are freaking upheld. Those fences are the only thing keeping the Sheraton from being covered head to toe in graffiti.
-Pump music into WPEC, Dean De Carli Waterfront Square and other places downtown. The music selection could change depending on the time of day, season or event.
Are we talking about downtown or a mall? Considering who'd be in charge of the playlist, I don't really feel like listening to smooth jazz when I'm headed to Bradley's. Of course the other side of the spectrum is pumping in the dulcet tones of Tizzle and Okwerdz. Which would be hilarious. I take it back, great idea.
-Install a free Wi-Fi network throughout downtown to allow people to work outdoors and linger at sidewalk coffee shops and cafes
He wants us to bring our computers downtown? I don't feel safe walking around with my $50 cell phone, let alone a $1,000 laptop. But I just pervieved my cell phone getting jacked when I was downtown last year. Didn't actually happen.
-Install an iconic water feature, such as a geyser, in the Stockton Deep Water Channel. "It's doesn't have to be the Bellagio, but something out there," he said
Man, that sounds really familiar. Maybe it's because we already have one of those at the WPEC.
Of course I saved the best suggestion for last. (In my words, not The Record's)
-Festivly decorate the police cars by painting the white and pink to give people a softer view of the police department.
I'll let that one sink in for a second.
...
Done laughing yet? No? It's ok, I got time.
...
Now? No? No worries
...
I'd say how terrible of an idea this is, but Chief Tom Morris (I'm assuming chief of police, but the article doesn't say, so he could be the indian chief from the Village People for all we know) puts it way more eloquently than I can. (Via the same article)
"I think the people in our community don't want a softer image of the Police Department," Chief Tom Morris said. "They want a professional and visible police force that will impact our violent crime rate." He said "the expense of painting police cars white and pink" would do nothing for that.
Well put. Speaking of expenses, I wonder how much it cost to pay this guy to come up with these brilliant ideas. Luckily it tells us later in the article that we're paying him $125,000. At least $50,000 of it coming from our tax dollars. Is it too late to get a refund?
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