I was working on a post about how lame Mondays are due to the amount of work my job has on Mondays and the complete lack of interesting news the Record puts forth (and other asinine things like putting financial advice on the front page of the LENS section instead of in the Money section). But then the news hit the wire and I just couldn't bring myself to bitch about such trivial things anymore.
Dolemite is dead. Rudy Ray Moore has died from complications with diabities at the age of 81 and the world is a little less bad ass because of it.
Nary a day has gone by where I've driven in Stockton and not shouted "Man, move over and let me pass 'fore they have be to pullin' these Hush Puppies out your mothafuckin' ass!" at whatever old Asian lady I invariably get stuck behind.
Dolemite inspired one of only three recurring skits on MadTV that were actually funny (Making MadTV funny was probably Dolemite's biggest accomplishment), he was an icon amongst icons, and most importantly...well, I'll let him say it, "I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin' up motha fuckas is my game!"
Fuckin' up mothafuckas indeed. You will truly be missed by this honky ass mutha fucka.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Trying to make sense of the search for a new police chief
The Record's blogs have been on the ball with some great posts on the search for a new Police Chief. The verdict? It's not going to be easy to get someone good.
David Siders brought great shame to Christian Burkin by giving us some background on previous searches and ultimatly comes to the conclusion that the city will probably conduct a nationwide search for a replacement.
Christian comes back with a great post about just how difficult that search will be because of the city's budget problems. In the end, we can't recruit "the best and the brightest" as Ann Johnston suggests we should because the best and the brightest make $100,000 more than Stockton could afford even before the budget cuts. And even if we could afford a top flight police chief, it's not like he'd be roaming the streets himself makng us safer, we'd still need more cops.
To us the solution is clear, we know of a man who is not only the best and brightest, but can make an impact on the streets. A man with a machine-like work ethic. Someone who won't look at his sweetass pension plan and decide to retire to spend more time with his wife and kids because he doesn't have any. You want big city experience? He cleaned up the mean streets of Detroit when noone else wanted to or could. The choice is clear, Robocop for Police Chief.
David Siders brought great shame to Christian Burkin by giving us some background on previous searches and ultimatly comes to the conclusion that the city will probably conduct a nationwide search for a replacement.
Christian comes back with a great post about just how difficult that search will be because of the city's budget problems. In the end, we can't recruit "the best and the brightest" as Ann Johnston suggests we should because the best and the brightest make $100,000 more than Stockton could afford even before the budget cuts. And even if we could afford a top flight police chief, it's not like he'd be roaming the streets himself makng us safer, we'd still need more cops.
To us the solution is clear, we know of a man who is not only the best and brightest, but can make an impact on the streets. A man with a machine-like work ethic. Someone who won't look at his sweetass pension plan and decide to retire to spend more time with his wife and kids because he doesn't have any. You want big city experience? He cleaned up the mean streets of Detroit when noone else wanted to or could. The choice is clear, Robocop for Police Chief.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sexy Friday post (NSFW depending on the prudishness of your boss)
Well, the weekend's here. After last week's connectivity debacle I feel kind of bad depriving you the sexy goodness of Sexy Friday. So here's Suzanne Carlson to make up for it. You're welcome. Thank God It's Sexy Friday. See you guys next week.
Shit to do for the weekend of Oct. 17th-20th
Sexy Friday 10/17
Fuck, every week it seems like Sexy Friday can't get here soon enough. Tonight's fairly busy, there's a show at UOP featuring Built Like Alaska at 8 tonight. Doesn't say exactly where on campus, but one would assume it's at the not nearly as awesome as promised Lair.
While we're at UOP, might as well stick around for Midnight Madness which is at the Spanos Center at 10. Apparently the NCAA's going by Central time this year. But hey, what better way to end your Sexy Friday than by watching a skills competition between members of the women's basketball team? Who needs excitement when you got fundamentals? Free
Saturday 10/18
When I read that there was going to be a 24-hour Comic Challenege at the Comic Grapevine in Stockton, I thought it was going to be a bunch of nerds sitting around reading comics for 24 hours in some sort of read-a-thon. Luckily I was wrong, it's actually a way more interesting contest where the contestants need to make a full 24-page comic book in under 24 hours. Which is such an interesting idea that I might actually go to the Grapevine for the first time since I discovered boobs. My guess is the guy who makes the tentacle rape comic wins.
Speaking of events with names that might mislead a guy who's only half awake (I think my coffee's broken, time to start using 5-hour energy as cream), SF has some event called "Free Bird Party" going on. Not sure exactly what it is, but if there's not at least 2 15-minute guitar solos they need to rename the event, or release an actual bird from captivity.
Reggie Ginn is playing at some place called the Vinter's Cellar in good ol' Manteca at 7. In a testament to the lameness of scene kid styles, it took me about halfway through Ian Hill's artcile on 209Vibe to realize Reggie was a girl. Which totally made me feel better about thinking she was attractive. That was a confusing 10 mins or so. Free.
Sunday 10/19
Morning Glory, The Stouts, and The Black Horde play an afternoon show at the Blackwater at 2 pm. Hmmm, punk show or football? Sorry, football wins. Why? Because unlike the Blackwater, my place still serves Pabst. $8
The Niners are playing the Giants this weekend in a game they will most assuredly lose. And the Jets bring their gunslinger to Oakland to destroy the Raiders. Fuck. When's that punk show again? Can I bring my own beer? At least our games are going to be better than Lions/Texans. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't show that game in Detroit or Houston either.
Bonus Monday 10/20
International Espionage, Alitak, Andrew Hemans, and hey Manna! play the Blackwater at 7. I know from personal experience that 3 of those bands kick ass. So, you know, go. $5
Fuck, every week it seems like Sexy Friday can't get here soon enough. Tonight's fairly busy, there's a show at UOP featuring Built Like Alaska at 8 tonight. Doesn't say exactly where on campus, but one would assume it's at the not nearly as awesome as promised Lair.
While we're at UOP, might as well stick around for Midnight Madness which is at the Spanos Center at 10. Apparently the NCAA's going by Central time this year. But hey, what better way to end your Sexy Friday than by watching a skills competition between members of the women's basketball team? Who needs excitement when you got fundamentals? Free
Saturday 10/18
When I read that there was going to be a 24-hour Comic Challenege at the Comic Grapevine in Stockton, I thought it was going to be a bunch of nerds sitting around reading comics for 24 hours in some sort of read-a-thon. Luckily I was wrong, it's actually a way more interesting contest where the contestants need to make a full 24-page comic book in under 24 hours. Which is such an interesting idea that I might actually go to the Grapevine for the first time since I discovered boobs. My guess is the guy who makes the tentacle rape comic wins.
Speaking of events with names that might mislead a guy who's only half awake (I think my coffee's broken, time to start using 5-hour energy as cream), SF has some event called "Free Bird Party" going on. Not sure exactly what it is, but if there's not at least 2 15-minute guitar solos they need to rename the event, or release an actual bird from captivity.
Reggie Ginn is playing at some place called the Vinter's Cellar in good ol' Manteca at 7. In a testament to the lameness of scene kid styles, it took me about halfway through Ian Hill's artcile on 209Vibe to realize Reggie was a girl. Which totally made me feel better about thinking she was attractive. That was a confusing 10 mins or so. Free.
Sunday 10/19
Morning Glory, The Stouts, and The Black Horde play an afternoon show at the Blackwater at 2 pm. Hmmm, punk show or football? Sorry, football wins. Why? Because unlike the Blackwater, my place still serves Pabst. $8
The Niners are playing the Giants this weekend in a game they will most assuredly lose. And the Jets bring their gunslinger to Oakland to destroy the Raiders. Fuck. When's that punk show again? Can I bring my own beer? At least our games are going to be better than Lions/Texans. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't show that game in Detroit or Houston either.
Bonus Monday 10/20
International Espionage, Alitak, Andrew Hemans, and hey Manna! play the Blackwater at 7. I know from personal experience that 3 of those bands kick ass. So, you know, go. $5
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Record's sports pages, so predictable that I wrote this yesterday
So the Kings/Clippers game was yesterday. The Kings lost but it's preseason so wins and losses don't really matter. All that matters is how the young nucleus of the Kings played. How did Spencer Hawes do? Jason Thompson got his first start, did he have an extra spark in his game? Let's consult the Record's coverage.
Jason Anderson, what do you got for me? A Bobby Brown (Kings edition, not New Edition) puff piece with minimal stats included? Huh. It's a nice article and all, but couldn't this soft feature have been better used to help promote the game in the days leading up to it? It's really just kind of a basic rookie story.
Oh well, let's ask Bob Highfill, he's the editor so obviously he knows that the day after a game you usually say something about what happened in the game. Or he wrote a "Stockton and Kings both excited to be here" column that also probably should have been in the paper yesterday instead of today.
What the fuck guys? I got more info about the game from the photo captions than from the two articles about the game. No mention of Kevin Martin's 27 first half points in which he only missed one(!) field goal. No mention of Spencer Hawes' defensive aewakening? Kenny Thomas got playing time for fuck's sake! Were Highfill and Anderson even at the fucking game or did Cliff Oto just show them a slideshow about it when he got back to the office?
And worst of all, if they're not going to break down the game, can't they pull a report from a wire service like usual? For those who would like one SactownRoyalty's Tom Ziller has a fantastic (as usual) write up over on his site.
Jason Anderson, what do you got for me? A Bobby Brown (Kings edition, not New Edition) puff piece with minimal stats included? Huh. It's a nice article and all, but couldn't this soft feature have been better used to help promote the game in the days leading up to it? It's really just kind of a basic rookie story.
Oh well, let's ask Bob Highfill, he's the editor so obviously he knows that the day after a game you usually say something about what happened in the game. Or he wrote a "Stockton and Kings both excited to be here" column that also probably should have been in the paper yesterday instead of today.
What the fuck guys? I got more info about the game from the photo captions than from the two articles about the game. No mention of Kevin Martin's 27 first half points in which he only missed one(!) field goal. No mention of Spencer Hawes' defensive aewakening? Kenny Thomas got playing time for fuck's sake! Were Highfill and Anderson even at the fucking game or did Cliff Oto just show them a slideshow about it when he got back to the office?
And worst of all, if they're not going to break down the game, can't they pull a report from a wire service like usual? For those who would like one SactownRoyalty's Tom Ziller has a fantastic (as usual) write up over on his site.
Quick Links for 10/16
Ever want to see how neighborhoods in Stockton compare to neighborhoods in other cities? Now you can! Apparently half this town is like Bernal Heights in SF. Not sure how to feel about that.
Holy Jesus Christ Monkey Balls! Sub-$3 gas! How the fuck is this still a story!?
Next budding "controversy" for the"partisan mouthpiece" that is the Record? Or just common sense? HuffPo, it's your move. Recordnet could desperately use the hits. They need to show off the impressive size of their linkback list. Which is a great idea by the way.
Christian Burkin checks in after a fairly lengthy blog break to chime in on Tom Morris' retirement. It's a must read if only for the classic line "If the city finds someone who will (take the Stockton Police Chief job), Morris said, 'I would make sure you give that person a psychological exam.'" We're going to screenshot the post just in case Recordnet gets a little squirrelly with the "delete post" button again.
Holy Jesus Christ Monkey Balls! Sub-$3 gas! How the fuck is this still a story!?
Next budding "controversy" for the"partisan mouthpiece" that is the Record? Or just common sense? HuffPo, it's your move. Recordnet could desperately use the hits. They need to show off the impressive size of their linkback list. Which is a great idea by the way.
Christian Burkin checks in after a fairly lengthy blog break to chime in on Tom Morris' retirement. It's a must read if only for the classic line "If the city finds someone who will (take the Stockton Police Chief job), Morris said, 'I would make sure you give that person a psychological exam.'" We're going to screenshot the post just in case Recordnet gets a little squirrelly with the "delete post" button again.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Kings game less advertised than Record-sponsered Literacy Fair
I know I've been pissing and moaning about this subject for the last month or so, and even did so earlier today, but I have to throw in one more observation that I missed.
As you know, the Record's attempt at helping push this game was a photo contest and a puff piece about Francisco Garcia. That's it.
It made me think, what other events have happened in Stockton that got better coverage? Let's compare shall we?
There were at least 3 articles/columns about that lame Dancing with the Stars show featuring people of various disabilities. The Stockton Rodeo got better coverage months before it was even supposed to happen.
Oh, and then there's everybody's favorite conflict of interest, the Record-sponsered Literacy Fair. Which pretty much took over the paper during the preceding week. Next year the Maloofs should totally get the Record to sponser the game so it'll get covered.
As you know, the Record's attempt at helping push this game was a photo contest and a puff piece about Francisco Garcia. That's it.
It made me think, what other events have happened in Stockton that got better coverage? Let's compare shall we?
There were at least 3 articles/columns about that lame Dancing with the Stars show featuring people of various disabilities. The Stockton Rodeo got better coverage months before it was even supposed to happen.
Oh, and then there's everybody's favorite conflict of interest, the Record-sponsered Literacy Fair. Which pretty much took over the paper during the preceding week. Next year the Maloofs should totally get the Record to sponser the game so it'll get covered.
Really? That's it?
So the Kings are playing their first official game in Stockton in 20 years tonight (yes, tonight), and the best The Record can do is a youth movement puff piece centered around El Flacco's new contract? They should have been writing that shit a fucking month ago. Today should have been breaking the game down by position. You know, previewing the actual God damn game.
Or they could have picked one of the 50 other running sideplots for this game. Will Spencer Hawes continue to improve? Is Jason Thompson going to be the steal of the draft? Aren't those new unis snazzy? That's three easy fucking story ideas that I just pulled out of my ass that could have been printed throughout the month to help build excitement for the game. Instead, we get one half assed puff piece that doesn't even mention the best player on the team.
Kevin Martin, the leader of the youth movement the article was about, is treated an afterthought. He's the guy Cisco has to share minutes with in the backcourt. Don't get me wrong, I love Francisco Garcia and am stoked that he extended his deal, but if you're going to write an article that's going to be the only analysis we get from the Record before the game, it should probably be about someone who actually starts.
On a sidenote, I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but the two ads that have been running for the game and the photo contest feature the exact same pictures of the players, just moved around within the ad so they don't exactly mirror each other. Are there that few pictures of Kings players out there?
Or they could have picked one of the 50 other running sideplots for this game. Will Spencer Hawes continue to improve? Is Jason Thompson going to be the steal of the draft? Aren't those new unis snazzy? That's three easy fucking story ideas that I just pulled out of my ass that could have been printed throughout the month to help build excitement for the game. Instead, we get one half assed puff piece that doesn't even mention the best player on the team.
Kevin Martin, the leader of the youth movement the article was about, is treated an afterthought. He's the guy Cisco has to share minutes with in the backcourt. Don't get me wrong, I love Francisco Garcia and am stoked that he extended his deal, but if you're going to write an article that's going to be the only analysis we get from the Record before the game, it should probably be about someone who actually starts.
On a sidenote, I don't know why it took me so long to realize this, but the two ads that have been running for the game and the photo contest feature the exact same pictures of the players, just moved around within the ad so they don't exactly mirror each other. Are there that few pictures of Kings players out there?
Quick Links for 10/15
We've read this story a couple of times and we're still not 100% what happened. The security guard got arrested for trying to keep the pumpkin patch secure, you know, his job. And then all of the sudden the kid who gets shot is an alleged rapist? Where the fuck did that come from? Was he raping pumpkins? The Great Pumpkin is not going to be pleased.
Speaking of shit we touched on yesterday, Bogey's is back in the news for (surprise!) another senseless act of violence. We've blamed lots of things on alcohol, the latest being that $200 lap dance I bought last Friday (You ever get an hour long lap dance? Totally worth it), but stabbing a guy with his own knife is a bit extreme. Alcohol is not an excuse, unless she was really really fat.
So it turns out that the bus driver of that casino bus crash wasn't drunk or high at all, just a really bad driver. Law enforcement has a day to find probable cause to continue holding him. That's right, we live in a world where a guy gets arrested for shooting a pumpkin rapist, but this guy's probably going to walk even though his shitty driving may have killed some people. (They're still trying to figure out the actual cause of the accident. Our money's on too many fat guys on one side of the bus during a sharp turn)
We're not even going to feign surprise about this. Leave the fruit basket though, it's still fresh enough for the next guy. Plus we can't afford to buy the new guy another, fucking budget cuts. By the way, offering to give up vacation days isn't that good of a counter offer because the city would still have to fucking pay you. Not that this is about money or anything...
Speaking of shit we touched on yesterday, Bogey's is back in the news for (surprise!) another senseless act of violence. We've blamed lots of things on alcohol, the latest being that $200 lap dance I bought last Friday (You ever get an hour long lap dance? Totally worth it), but stabbing a guy with his own knife is a bit extreme. Alcohol is not an excuse, unless she was really really fat.
So it turns out that the bus driver of that casino bus crash wasn't drunk or high at all, just a really bad driver. Law enforcement has a day to find probable cause to continue holding him. That's right, we live in a world where a guy gets arrested for shooting a pumpkin rapist, but this guy's probably going to walk even though his shitty driving may have killed some people. (They're still trying to figure out the actual cause of the accident. Our money's on too many fat guys on one side of the bus during a sharp turn)
We're not even going to feign surprise about this. Leave the fruit basket though, it's still fresh enough for the next guy. Plus we can't afford to buy the new guy another, fucking budget cuts. By the way, offering to give up vacation days isn't that good of a counter offer because the city would still have to fucking pay you. Not that this is about money or anything...
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Well, fuck.
I'm a dumbass. Being the procrastinator that I am, I went to go buy tickets to tomorrow's (that's right Record's sports section. tomorrow. Thanks for the complete lack of support.) Kings game this weekend and found out that I was shit out of luck. The cheapest available tickets are the $55 seats that run along the baseline on either end of the Spanos Center. In other words, the shit seats. Considering I'm not a rich man and don't even pay $55 to go to Kings games that count in Arco, I'll be watching the game from a place that allows beer, my apartment. Yes, I'm pissed. But hey, that means the game might have respectable attendance. So umm, hooray? Nope, still pissed. Excuse me while I got scour Craigslist for a spare cheap ticket.
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