Shit to do for the weekend of 3/13-3/15

Welcome to a semi-extended St. Patrick's Day version of the shit to do post. Sorry there wasn't one last week, I was still recovering from that devastating punch I took from a midget. To make it up to you, I won't phone it in this week like I'd been doing the past couple weeks.

Sexy Friday the 13th



Didn't we just have one of these scary Sexy Fridays? Fucking February. Well, as the bad ass flyer above says, Mr. Plow (that's their name. Their name again, is Mr. Plow), The Atom Age, and 9:00 News are playing the Blackwater tonight at 8. That flyer's pretty dark for a bunch of dudes from Canadia. I didn't know America's hat had a darkside, you know, besides Quebec. $7

Also Tracy's Megan Slankard plays an apparently free show at the Janet Leigh Plaza downtown tonight at 7 as part of the Downtown Alliance's Evenings on the Plaza series. I've heard she's pretty good. Of course, slap a guitar on any hot chick and everybody's perception of "pretty good" gets distorted a bit. Free?

Saturday 3/14 (AKA Pi Day)

For non-math nerds this weekend means one thing, st. Patrick's Day pre-gaming. A lot of bars hedge their bets and celebrate our greatest holiday the Saturday before if the 17th happens to land on a weekday as it does this year. Of course people who dismiss St. Patty's day for something as trivial as work are pussies, but it also means extended drink specials so I'm not going to look a gifthorse in the mouth. For those who may be disappointed that they can't afford to down as many green beers and Irish car bombs as they would like in today's economy, I'd like to direct you towards our feature story on recession drinking for some helpful tips. Our guide to Thanksgiving Eve drinking also mostly applies here minus the high school reunion part. Unless, of course, you're drinking in Lodi. Which is like drinking in one, long, neverending high school reunion.

As far as where to drink, downtown's a good bet. Bradley's is doing their yearly party thing this weekend which means lots of green beer and disgustingly good Irish cuisine. Buy your beer at Beach Hut Deli though, I'm pretty sure it was cheaper their last year.

Keeping with the Irish motif, Finnegan's and their ridiculously awesome drink specials might be the best deal in town. $1 green beer, $4 pints of Guiness, fucking $3 Irish Car Bombs, amd $3 Black and Tans. Read that again. The artist formerly known as Flynn's is really stepping their game up. Plus, if I'm reading their MySpace correctly, those drink specials apply on both Saturday and Tuesday. Show up early to avoid a cover though.

And it wouldn't be a drinking holiday without the suggestion that you check out downtown Lodi. Stooges usually has the cheapest drinks regardless of the time of year and is in a nice central location in relation to Ollie's, Lodi Beer Co., Stogies, and Gary's Lounge making downtown Lodi the ideal place for bar hopping.

But if you must stay sober, you can check out the Blackwater at 8 and see Reggie Ginn, Gardening Not Archecture, John Vecchiarelli, and Chelsea Wolfe. $5

Sunday 3/15

Pop two asprin, downbottle of Pepto, turn on TV, fill out bracket accordingly.

Shit to do for 2/27-3/1

TGISF. I'm pretty busy so this will be quick again. Sorry, I know you guys really like my commentary on bands I've never heard of.

Sexy Friday 2/27

The Great Oglee Moogle Blues Band plays tonight at 9 at the Matinee. $5

Saturday 2/28

Fuck, you try and decipher this. I'm only able to tell that the Plea for Peace Center will be putting on a Ska show (I know, surprising) at 7:30 on Saturday. $8/$10

Sunday 3/1

And for you mandatory Blackwater show we have The Black Horde, the Lobstrosities, and the Outlaw Dance Society playing and afternoon show at 2:30. $10

Shit to do for the weekend of 2/20-2/22

Sorry for the laziness again today. We're all helping Slick move. Here's some shit to to for the weekend.

Sexy Friday 2/20

The Blameshifters, The Secretions, Jaked on Ridicule, and Bastards of Young play the Blackwater tonight at 6. $8

Saturday 2/21

Stooges in Lodi is having their Mardi Gras party Saturday night so hooray tits.

Also, the 209 All Stars play another free show at the Beach Hut Deli at 7. Free

Sunday 2/22

Miss football.

Shit to do for Valentine's Day weekend

I'm beat. Sorry it's so late. This is a sorely needed 3-day weekend.

Sexy Friday the 13th

This Friday is both scary and sexy, scary sexy if you will. And in honor of that, and to make up for the lateness, here's some Sexy Friday goodness (from the linked KSK post).





Ok, so tonight at 8 Novacain, Odessa, Sandra D Jay and Dave, and Soul Simple play the Blackwater for the California Innocence Project. Which kind of sounds like a fake charity, like the Human Fund, but I'm pretty sure it's real. That website looks legit. Plus Novacain's pretty funny. $6

Saturday Feb. 14th (Valentine's Day)

I suggest heavy drinking, but if you insist on staying sober then head on over to the Plea for Peace Center at 7 to see The Shivers, Alitak, and Dim City Lights. Plus there's an art show. So yeah, Alitak. $5 (plus $2 yearly membership fee if you haven't been before)

Sunday Feb 15th (Or as married people call it, 364 days until your next blowjob)

Nothing's happening Sunday. Miss football yet? The NBA All Star game is on, so hey, meaningless basketball!

Shit to do for the weekend of 2/6-2/8

Sexy Friday 2/6

The Magnolia District, Knock on Wood, and the Mumblers are playing a free show at the Blackwater tonight at 8. I haven't heard of any of these bands and this is apparently Knock on Wood's first show, but it's free. So hey, affordable entertainment for some of Stockton's freshly laid off finest. Free

Of course that show contradicts this show on Ian Hill's MySpace that says it's Snap Jackson and the Knock on Wood Players and it costs $3. So you know, beware. $3

Alitak, City Psychology, and Origami Ghost play the Queen Bean Coffee House in Modesto tonight at 7. The show's free provided that you actually buy something. Come on, this is a coffee house, not a library. As always, Alitak kicks ass. Freeish

Saturday 2/7

Yeah, nothing's going on Saturday. Just weaksauce comedy shows. Unless you want to help me decipher whatever the hell this is supposed to be. Might I suggest going to see The Wrestler in Manteca?

Sunday 2/8

Of course Sunday was meant to watch the Pro Bo... Ok, sorry, I couldn't finish that sentence without laughing uncontrollably. Origami Ghost, St. Pierre, and Save Our Ship are playing the Plea For Peace Center on Sunday at 6. Which leaves just enough time to catch every band before bedtime. Tell Middagh we said "What's crackin'" $5/$7 (Yeah, I'm confused too)

Shit to do for the weekend of 1/30-2/1

Hey look, January's over. That went by kinda quickly. Wasn't something supposed to happen at the end of January? Something big I thought. Which obviously means it pertains to me. Hmmm... Why is Aaron Davis saying goodby... Oh shit! The 31st is supposed to be the day 209Vibe.com goes dark! FUCK! What am I gonna do? Oh shit oh shit oh shit! How am I gonna know where and when shows are? Ahhhhh!

OK, just kidding. We hear they're still fighting to keep it but no absolute word has come down yet. So, you know, keep visiting it so it's hits stay up and I can easily guide you to which shows you should go too. Especially now that Aaron Davis apparently no longer will be doing so. I'm all you gots now bitches! Let's breakdown Super Bowl weekend!

Sexy Friday (apparently KSK forgot the Sexy Friday post, we'll link to it when they post it) 1/30

Ok, what the fuck is this shit? Only two listings? One that apparently was typed by a 5 year old and another advertising a lame ass youth center show? Fuck youth center shows. Those always suck. Plus, I know for a fact there's a show at the Matinee tonight. The hippie broads at Fats kept bugging me to go. It's even advertised on the back of the last print edition of 209Vibe, yet it's not on 209Vibe.com. Oh well, guess some bands aren't as media-savvy as others.

Luckily Ian Hill lists shows other places, like myspace.com/ianhill. Which is where we found out that Fats is apparently having comedy night tonight. I'm not a big fan of local comedians, mostly because they suck. But hey, it's better than the weak ass 180 center. $10

Saturday 1/31

Raise your hand if you're surprised that the Record's completely ignored Saturday's UFC 94 PPV even though Ultimate Fighter winner and Stockton resident Nate Diaz is on the card. Nobody? Yeah, that's what I thought. There's like 2 paragraphs about it buried in the middle of today's sports section. So they at least know there's a fight between BJ Penn and GSP, but they failed to take even a cursory glance at the rest of the card to see that Nate's fighting Clay Guida in what should be a bad ass fight. Fuck I hate the Record's sports pages. Feel free to catch UFC 94 in HD over at the Elbow Room at 7. Free

Or, if guys beating the shit out of each other isn't your cup of tea, then head on over to the Plea for Peace Center at 6 to see Snap Jackson and some art show thingy. It's only 2 bucks and you get to support the local art community without having to hang out with stuffy wine and cheesers. Really it's win/win. $2

Superbowl Sunday 2/1

If I have to tell you what's going on Sunday then get the fuck out of my face because I will headbutt you. Of course I'm talking about Puppy Bowl V! How this event isn't sponsored by myRecord I'll never know. Then there's that whole football game thing too. Unfortunately I put all my money on a German Shepard to win MVP in the Puppy Bowl. Come onnnn Bella! Papa needs a new pair of shoes!

Shit to do for the weekend of 1/23-1/24 (nothing to do on fucking Sunday)

Fuck it's been a long couple days. Slick won't be in today. Trust me, there's a decent excuse. And to think this week started out so promising. Here's your shit to do. Excuse me while I go get shitty drunk.

Sexy Friday 1/23

One of my favorite acts is coming to Modesto tonight as Jason Webley hits up Hero's with the Phenomanauts, Before 20, and the Blast Bandits at 8pm. I've seen Jason a couple of times, the last time being at the Blackwater a few years back. His shows are interesting and always fun. I don't want to ruin too much for you but just know that last time I ended up having to hug the photographer the Record sent (this was before 209Vibe when the Record actually kind of covered local entertainment) while the entire room stopped and said "Welcome!" as he came in. Yeah, Jason Webley's a fuckin' blast. Now lay your head on the belly of the person next to you... $10

Saturday 1/24

Del Scorpion and the Stingers play the Blackwater at 8 on Saturday. Apparently they're some old school 60s band so that should be fun, as Blackwater shows usually are. $10

Or if you're broke you could always head down to the Beach Hut Deli at 8 to catch the 209 All Stars. Somehow FunkyTim's involved. I guess he's an All Star. Feel free to say what's up to the newest citizens of Alphabet City while you're there. Free

Sunday 1/25

No football, no shows. What the fuck is this? Utah? Sunday's still the weekend right? I'm sure as shit aren't going to suggest you go to fucking church.

I'd say go see a movie or something but considering every one of our movie theaters carries Paul Blart: Mall Cop and not a single one carries multiple Acadamy Award nominee The Wrestler, Regal theaters can go fuck themselves.

Yeah, I'm in a great mood today. Who knew a short work week could be this fun. Even Sexy Friday was kind of disappointing. Although that bacon bikini (yeah, it was a bacony day at KSK today) was kinda cool.

See you guys next week.

Shit to do for the weekend of 1/16-1/18

So apparently last week's lack of events on the 209Vibe calendar was due to a computer glitch or something. The "add events" function was broken. It works now. Add events, if only to keep me near the borderline levels of sane that I claim to be. Also, I would have posted more but I just bought Smackdown vs. Raw 2009 (go ahead, point and laugh at the wrestling geek, I'll wait) and have been working hard to become Undisputed Champion. Gotta love my priorities. Let's see if there's anything to do this weekend worth putting pants on for.

Sexy Friday 1/16

Punkabilly at the Blackwater tonight at what 209Vibe says is 8am but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess they meant pm. The Midnight Howlers, the Infamous Swanks, and the Wilddly Wahs will be there. $6

Saturday 1/17

The Beach Hut Deli celebrates it's one year anniversary at 8:30 with Fresh Kid Q and Letter K and the Alphabet Asylum. Beach Hut's usually got good bands and dollar pints of Pabst so this should be a good show. Free

Sunday 1/18

Who's going to go to a show this Sunday anyways? Like Slick said earlier, this weekend is about the last enjoyable moments you'll have before the media crushes your soul with Obama/Superbowl coverage. Who's the geek for buying a new video game to kill a couple of weeks now? Oh wait, still me. Like me, you'll probably be watching football this Sunday. Feel like being more productive? Go to Fats and watch the game.

Now if you'll excuse me I have a ladder match to win.

Shit to do for the weekend of Jan. 9th-11th plus a bonus desperate plea for my sanity!

Before we get to the Shit To Do, I gotta extend my own special "Fuck you in a fresh knife wound" to the Record for killing 209Vibe. Tracking down shows for this post took fucking forever. Everybody's ceased posting shows on 209Vibe.com even though the 209Vibe MySpace indicates the recently fauxhawked Ian Hill is working to keep at least the website alive. They're not going to keep it if everybody drops it like a bad habit. They're still posting content (remember that kickass blog link from the Quick Links? Where else can you see a Record writer tell a local reality show star participant "fuck you?" Where was this during Queen Emily's reign of terror?) so visit that bitch so I can in turn use the events calendar and not spend forever hunting down fucking shows.

Sexy Friday 1/9

Honestly, I have no idea what's going on tonight. I personally plan on drinking myself silly, but what else is new? Fats usually has a band on Fridays and Saturdays. So go there or something. According to Ian Hill's cut-and-paste job final local music column PushPushPull and the Great Giveaway are playing at Eureka Coffee in Lathrop at 8pm. TBA cover though.

Saturday 1/10

Oh hey look! Shows! Brassai, Operocia (former Ocean Evaporate), and The Box Opera are playing the Blackwater at 7:30. $5 Brassai is pretty bad ass, but nothing compared to...

Filbert, Descolada, Gregory Michael and Alitak playing a free show at Empresso Coffee also at 7;30. Considering I've told Mike of Alitak I'll go to his show the past 4 shows only to be to lazy to go when the time came, I'll probably go to this. I'll be the one heckling them for playing at a place that doesn't serve beer. FREE

Sunday 1/11

Fuck, Slick stole my thunder. Spend your day watching football then head on down to the Civic Auditorium and get dumb. That's right E-40 makes his triumphant return to Stockton. Well, as triumphant as a show that's received absolutely no advertising can be. Wasn't this hyphy thing supposed to be a huge movement? Don't let Mac Dre's death be in vain! I've been a big 40 fan ever since I heard him busting rhymes on the Too Short classic "Just Like Dope", which is quite possibly the truest song of all time. Either way, it should be a fairly entertaining show. 7:30 $30-$40

A special Shit to do for New Year's Eve (but let's face it, you made plans 2 weeks ago)

Huh? You want me to do what? Fuck you Slick, it's Wednesday. Shit ain't even sexy today. Have you seen the ridiculous fucking cover charges going around tonight? $50(!?) to drink at what's essentially the Great Plate? Fuck, even Fat's is charging $15 to get in. Envy's charging $25-$40, but that place is for douchebags anyways. Way to rub in the fact that I can't afford to go out and drink so I'll be alone in my apt tackling a 30-pack of Coors while drunkenly watching the South Park marathon and wondering how many beers I'd have to have in me before I'd nail Kyle's mom. Ok, fine. Here's shit to do tonight with only a little help from the corpse of 209Vibe.com (which, you know, is still around for at least another month).

The James Blonde Band and the Great Oglee Moglee Blues Band play the Matinee tonight for their party at 9pm. $10

The aforementioned Fat's is having their party at 9 tonight as well. I'm not sure who's playing, but rumor going around is they actually have a DJ tonight instead of lame ass Latin Magic Band. $15 solo/$25 couple

And of course, the coolest place to celebrate the new year ever the Comic Grapevine is doing something at 7. I wouldn't be caught dead there but if tentacle rape is your idea of a good New Year's celebration then have at it. $5

And of course there's always every bar ever. For you Lodi folks, Gary's Lounge seems to be the cool place of note as of late. I lost my rotating schedule of which bar is considered cool during certain times of the year, but I believe Stooges will get it's 3 month "cool" run next. Or at least I really hope so. Happy New Year bitches. This next beer's for you.

Shit to do for the weekend of Dec. 19th-21st

Wow, there really isn't that much shit to do this weekend. I would blame the announced closure of 209Vibe but A. The only places where it's been mentioned is on the 209Vibe website and by us (seriously, I told a local artist about it today and he had a shocked look on his face. Way to report the news Record). And B. They're still kicking ass and taking names anyways. Somebody sounds a little fired up don't they? Let's pick the bones of 209Vibe while we can to link to the few shows that are going on. I have no idea how we're going to do the shit to do after it's gone.

Sexy Friday 12/19

Fuck, nothing's going on on Sexy Friday. Ummm, here, go see "Universal" at Chitivas at 9. I have no idea what the hell it is and reading the description just confuses me even more. Apparently it's a joint party with the Waterfront (old Boiler Room) and Chitiva's. Apparently the new owners of the old Boiler Room's space don't openly loathe Chitiva's as much as the Boiler Room's owners did. So hey, unity. $10

Saturday 12/20

There's an acoustic show at the Beach Hut Deli featuring the 209 All Stars at 8. One of them is apparently FunkyTim. Yeah, like I said, jack and shit is going on this weekend. But hey, Beach Hut Deli is bad ass and the show's free.

Sunday 12/21

Nothing's even going on in the world of football as the Niners take on the Rams and the Raiders play the Texans in two games that I pray to God are blacked out so I can watch the potential playoff matchups that are happening this weekend. But unfortunately they probably won't be blacked out so feel free to head on down to the Blackwater at 2:30 for the Plea For Peace "Benefit for Peace" show. Performing will be Icarus Jones, Neglected, These Walking Giants, The Buboniks, The Stouts, Ready the Jets, Brian Hanover, Alitak, Filbert, Middagh, and Andrew Hemans. Fuck, that's a packed show and well worth the price of admission for $10. Plus it's for a good cause, renovations for the Plea for Peace Center. I was at their first show last week and God damn that place needs a lot of work. So go. Plus I saw Mike from Alitak (he's the one who kind of looks like a Mexican Dewey Cox when he was on LSD) at that show and he told me how much more bad ass Alitak is since the last time I saw them. So again, fucking go. $10

Shit to do for the weekend of Dec. 12th

Before we get started, a hearty "fuck you" is in order for whoever decided to throw up the hijack/roadblock ads at 209Vibe.com. I don't want to have to see the generic flyer for the gay poetry thing in Modesto. It's fucking annoying.

Sexy Friday 12/12

(Update: Oh well fuck me. I completly forgot about something.)
Middagh Goodwin's birthday Party. Plea for Peace Center 630 E Weber. Shit starts at 7. Mike Park will be there, so will Jesse Michaels, Kevin Seconds, and the Outlaw Dance Society getting their acoustic on. $10

Del Scorpion and the Stingers play the Blackwater tonight at 8. I've never herd of them but it's either this or detriment to comedy George Lopez. And anything's better than George Lopez. (Did you know Mexicans are craaaaazy? Especially old Mexicans! Man, they're so different.) Plus the Blackwater show is 18+ so you won't have to deal with those annoying high school kids who think Screamo is the best genre ever. $10

Saturday 12/13

On Saturday Rocky Ramirez and the Stockton Royale feat. Icarus Jones are also playing the Blackwater at 9. This is one of those low key food bank benefits that we actually enjoy. Mostly because it's not a story that get's reprinted in the Record every 6 seconds. Note to struggling charities, this is how you get people to help out. Not multiple sob stories that get tuned out because they've been running since October. $3 or canned food.

Ed and the Educators are playing at Fats Saturday at 9 with Lita Hope and Reel. When I first heard about this show I was really hoping "Reel" was Real from VH1 guilty pleasures "I Love New York" and "Real Chance at Love" but it appears there will be no Stallionaires in Stockton this weekend. Which is disappointing. Ed and the Educators kick ass though. $5

Sunday 12/14

Football-wise the Niners play the Dolphins in what should be a good game if the Niners continue playing decently. The Raiders will take on another AFC East team when the Pats come to town on Sunday. With all the injuries that Pats have been piling up they're just 14 or 15 more key injuries away from being as bad as the Raiders. One of those key injuries is Bob Kraft magically aging 35 years and firing Bellichick after he won't trade in the hooded sweatshirt for a cheesy track suit.

That should be it from us for the week unless something earth shattering happens over the weekend. See you all Monday, and have a boneriffic Sexy Friday.

Kinda Shit to do for this weekend

So shit, I've been slacking this week. Sorry. I almost forgot to d the Shit to do post but then I realized there's only one thing to do this weekend. Pub Crawl on Saturday. They're expecting 500 people. So yeah, it should be a pretty badass time.

Sorry again for the complete lack of posts today. Been kind of a hectic week.

Shit to do for the weekend of Nov. 21st

Sexy Friday Nov. 21st

Portugal the Man, Earl Greyhound, Wintersleep, and Alitak are playing at the Blackwater tonight at 8. Portugal the Man is a band out of Wasilla, Alaska so one has to assume they're getting tired of being asked if they can see Russia from their house. Plus Alitak got their name from a town in Alaska, so it's technically a themed show. Bonus points go to anybody who shouts "What you know, eskimo?" inbetween songs. $15(!?)

Saturday Nov. 22nd

Brassai, Planet Perhaps, and Ocean Evaporate play at the Matinee at 7 on Saturday. Last time I saw Brassai was at the Matinee and I think they were the band that had a bunch of clips from Schwarzenegger movies on the movie screen. It was hilarious. Although I wasn't anything resembling sober that night...or right now. $3

Letter K and the Alphabet Asylum and Fresh Kid Q play the Beach Hut Deli at 9pm. I neglect hip hop in these posts all the time so I figured I'd throw this in here. Plus jack and shit is going on this weekend, unless of course you're into lame screamo shows. Free (the hip hop show, not weak ass screamo)

Sunday Nov. 23rd

This weekend's slate of games is underwhelming at best. The Raiders take on the Broncos in a claddic AFC West battle between a team with no offense and a team with no defense. Somehow Jamarcus Russell will throw an interception to himself. This also might be the game Darren McFadden's foot finally falls off.

Speaking of things falling off, Tony Romo's dreaded pinkie will probably fall off when the Cowboys play the Niners this weekend. And Wade Phillips will probably waddle over, mistake it for a chicken fry, and eat it. But not until Charles Haley tries to jack off on it (or jack off the actual pinkie).

Shit to do for the weekend of 11/14

Sexy Friday 11/14

Hey Manna!, French Cassettes, Lanterns, and Weatherbox are playing the Blackwater at 8 tonight. This is easily the best show of the weekend. That is not a subjective statement. $6

Saturday 11/15

If you thought we weren't going to be watching the biggest fight in MMA history, you'd be wrong. Granted, the biggest fight in MMA history has happened like 8 times in recent years (or in the case of ShamrockPetruzelli/Slice wasn't big in the way they intended it to be), but the Lesnar/Couture fight has to be the biggest. At least until Couture fights Fedor. Elbow Room, Free!

Sunday 11/16

On Sunday the Niners face the Rams and the Raiders face the Dolphins making this Sunday the least watchable sports weekend since the WNBA season ended. I'm also including the Kings/Spurs game because the Spurs are never watchable (refering to style of play, not quality) and the Kings have only been half-watchable this season.

Probably no "Week in Review" post this week since we barely did anything. Sorry again for the suckage this week. And for the suckage of this post.

Shit to do for the weekend of 11/7

Sexy Friday 11/7

Dun Bin Had, Rule 22, Banda Nonsense, and 9:00 News play the Blackwater tonight at 8. If 9:00 News doesn't play at 9 I'm going to be very disappointed. If ever a band had a built in hook, that would be it. $8

The Highway 61 Blues Band plays the Matinee tonight at 9. I've actually seen these guys in action and their a fairly decent blues band. They're popular with the older crowd though, so if you plan on going there be prepared for the place to be filled with a bunch of "way too old to be at the bar this late" guys eyeing women like they were still in their mid-twenties. $10

Saturday 11/8

We don't really include many Modesto shows in these posts, but it's not every weekend that pioneers in both rap and vulgarity come by. Saturday night at the Fat Cat, most of 2 Live Crew (sans Luke) will dazzle the crowd lyrically at 9:30. Opening for them will be local DJs Suga Shane, Bobby Sanchez, and Liquid. Let's see if 2LC can mirror the comeback success of fellow 80s band AC/DC. Something tells me they can't, but it should be a fun show anyways.

Sunday 11/9

So there's good news and bad news for Raider fans this weekend. The good news is that they can't possibly play any worse, and there's rumors floating around that there's somebody out there crazy enough to want to coach them (Stanford's Jim Harbaugh). The bad news? They're playing the 6-2 Panther who come in to Oakland fresh off their bye week. If they gain a single yard in the first half, it has to be considered a moral victory for the silver and black.

Speaking of teams fresh off their bye week, the Niners play the Cardinals on...whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. Does that say Monday Night Football? The Monday Night Football? You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Monday 11/10

For some unknown reason MNF features a week 10 battle between two NFC West teams. Shaun Hill gets the start against the Buzzsaw as everybody now realizes that NFL Europe MVP and "less than mediocre NFL player" are the exact same thing.

Shit to do for the Halloween weekend

Scary Sexy Friday (semi-NSFW) 10/31

So like Slick said last night, 209Vibe kind of stole our thunder. Granted, they do a weekly post of local concerts too, just not with the pizazz that I do. Plus he doesn't include links to a semi-nude Marissa Miller. I think we win. Regardless, here's a list of all those parties going on tonight.

There's 209Vibe's party at the Empire featuring Watchout! There's Ghosts at 6pm. $15

The Blackwater's got their All Gallows Eve thing going on with The Outlaw Dance Society and The Vulgar Morons at8pm. $10

Nino's in Modesto's got a party going on featuring Tequila Mockingbird at 9pm. Plus it's FREE.

Crowd favorite The Boiler Room has the second part of their party going on tonight at 9pm. They always got good this going on. $10

And at a place we'll probably end up, the Elbow Room, offers up the double whammy of no cover and drink specials. Like they say, simple and to the point. FREE!!

There's other shit going on. Maxim's over in the old Mallards has a DJ tonight. Fat's is probably doing something too. And we can't forget Stooges of Lodi. But let's be honest, you'll be at a house party getting stoned in someone's living room while telling the squares that smoke is just dry ice.

Hangover Saturday 11/1

For those of you able to walk before noon this day, you didn't do it right you fucking pussy. Go back and drink more. Or head on over to Banner Island Ballpark to go see Minor Dischord, Funky Tim, and allegedly a bunch of other bands at...10 at night? Yikes, downtown at night. Good luck. $10

Or if you really feel like doing some traveling, at 10pm our friends over at Oh Dang! are putting on a quality birthday party for their EIC and Stockton native Zosquatch at the Poleng Lounge in SF featuring members of Jimi Handtrix, plus Sherlock Tones featuring Will Woodley on drums. We'd be going if we had transportation that we'd trust to get us past the Altamont. $10

Sunday 11/2

Niners have a bye week, Raiders take on the Falcons. Oakland's D vs. a rookie QB that's probably going to tear up their secondary? Fuck, is it Groundhog's Day? And somebody turn off the damn Sonny and Cher!

Shit to do for this pre-Halloween weekend

With Halloween just a week away, one would think that this would be a relativly quiet weekend. And it is...except for all the "pre"-Halloween parties going on this weekend. I'm not exactly a big Halloween guy but hey, it's an excuse to drink heavily. Not that I require an excuse to drink heavily, but it's nice to have an excuse. Let's see what shit there is to do.

Sexy Friday Oct. 24th

Before we get to the pre-parties, let's get the requisite Blackwater show out of the way. Alabaster, Self Destroyer, and Switchblade 327 are all playing at the aforementioned Blackwater at 8pm. I haven't heard of any of these bands, but I've always been partial to the name Alabaster after that King of the Hill episode where Hank inadvertantly becomes a pimp and has to put a white pimp named Alabaster (voice by Snoop Dogg) in his place. $6

The Boiler Room kicks off the Halloween festivities with their Halloween Pre-Costume Party at 9. Apparently they're expecting so many people they're spreading their costume contest over multiple days. If you want to advance to the next round of competition, you gotta show up tonight. Which is kind of weaksauce, but hey, drinking. $10

Saturday Oct 25th

Saturday features two more pre-Halloween parties, which is a testament to our claim that there's absolutly nothing else to do in Stockton besides get completly shitfaced. Why else would we stretch out this drinking holiday over a week?

But for those of you who don't feel like drinking for some unfathomable reason, you should check out the Northeast Community Center for their "Holloween" Bash. Stories in Stone, One Shot Suicide, Dark Supremacy, the Ghost of Nightingale, and Accidentally Murdered are playing at 5. Judging by the band names, I think it's safe to say your studded bracelts/dog collars are going to be some of the more conservative fashion choices that night. $5

For those of us who prefer to drink instead of sitting around and listening to depressing music, the Matinee's Pre-Halloween Monster Rock & Blues Bash is at 9 (or 8 depending on which part of that link's contents you choose to believe). Willie Hines & The Face Cards will be there along with The Great Oglee Moglee Blues Band. $7

Ed and the Educators will be at BWDW Fat's Grill and Bar at 9. They put on a great show at the otherwise lackluster Lebowskifest that Pacific Bowl put on. Although anytime I can call a Lincoln High teacher a perderast and get the response "8 year olds Dude", you've got to consider the night a success. Remember, nobody fucks with the Jesus. $5

And while you're in the area you might as well head on over to UOP for their take on Rocky Horror Picture Show at 11:55pm. Having been to a few Bay Area productions of Rocky Horror ("Rocky" by itself is reserved for one movie, and one movie alone), I'm not expecting anything too crazy to go on at the show. Especially when you throw in UOP's recent campaign against anything resembling fun. But hey, I could be (and usually am) wrong. $5

Sunday Oct. 26th

Sunday should probably be spent nursing that hangover away while watching football as usual. Unfortunatly the Niner and the Raiders are participating in the two most boring games of the week. The Niners "battle" the Seahawks in which the winner will probably be decided by who fumbles the ball last. And the Raiders take on the Ravens. Flacco! Russell! It's the NFL on...oh wait, no Sunday night game because of baseball for some weakass reason. (Not that that game would have been the night game anyways, unless NBC had decided to just throw in the towel ratingswise while still putting a game there)

Shit to do for the weekend of Oct. 17th-20th

Sexy Friday 10/17

Fuck, every week it seems like Sexy Friday can't get here soon enough. Tonight's fairly busy, there's a show at UOP featuring Built Like Alaska at 8 tonight. Doesn't say exactly where on campus, but one would assume it's at the not nearly as awesome as promised Lair.

While we're at UOP, might as well stick around for Midnight Madness which is at the Spanos Center at 10. Apparently the NCAA's going by Central time this year. But hey, what better way to end your Sexy Friday than by watching a skills competition between members of the women's basketball team? Who needs excitement when you got fundamentals? Free

Saturday 10/18

When I read that there was going to be a 24-hour Comic Challenege at the Comic Grapevine in Stockton, I thought it was going to be a bunch of nerds sitting around reading comics for 24 hours in some sort of read-a-thon. Luckily I was wrong, it's actually a way more interesting contest where the contestants need to make a full 24-page comic book in under 24 hours. Which is such an interesting idea that I might actually go to the Grapevine for the first time since I discovered boobs. My guess is the guy who makes the tentacle rape comic wins.

Speaking of events with names that might mislead a guy who's only half awake (I think my coffee's broken, time to start using 5-hour energy as cream), SF has some event called "Free Bird Party" going on. Not sure exactly what it is, but if there's not at least 2 15-minute guitar solos they need to rename the event, or release an actual bird from captivity.

Reggie Ginn is playing at some place called the Vinter's Cellar in good ol' Manteca at 7. In a testament to the lameness of scene kid styles, it took me about halfway through Ian Hill's artcile on 209Vibe to realize Reggie was a girl. Which totally made me feel better about thinking she was attractive. That was a confusing 10 mins or so. Free.

Sunday 10/19

Morning Glory, The Stouts, and The Black Horde play an afternoon show at the Blackwater at 2 pm. Hmmm, punk show or football? Sorry, football wins. Why? Because unlike the Blackwater, my place still serves Pabst. $8

The Niners are playing the Giants this weekend in a game they will most assuredly lose. And the Jets bring their gunslinger to Oakland to destroy the Raiders. Fuck. When's that punk show again? Can I bring my own beer? At least our games are going to be better than Lions/Texans. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't show that game in Detroit or Houston either.

Bonus Monday 10/20

International Espionage, Alitak, Andrew Hemans, and hey Manna! play the Blackwater at 7. I know from personal experience that 3 of those bands kick ass. So, you know, go. $5

Finally, Shit to do for the weekend of 10/10

(Apologies, the wind wreaked havoc on my wireless connection. This post took approx. 4 hours to cobble together. I wish I was kidding.)

Sexy Friday 10/10

Brassai, Novel Heroes, and Better Days are playing at the Blackwater tonight at 8. I've actually seens Brassai play before and they'll rock your balls off. Should be a good show, hopefully these hurricane force winds will have died down by then. Or else where will all the hipsters smoke? $5

Saturday 10/11

In what can only be described as the start of the "Oh shit, the game's this week" festivities, the Kings will be hosting a block party from 1-3 at the downtown movie theater. the Kings dance crew and Slamson will more than likely be there. No word on whether or not Spencer Hawes will show up. But hey, it's a last second event to promote the game, which is usually a good indicator as to how ticket sales are going. Free

Sunday 10/12

Again, fucking nothing. Next time Middagh or Ian post one of those "Look at the inoordinate amount of shows coming up" bulletins on MySpace I'm totally calling bullshit.

The Niners take on the Westbrookless Eagles in a game both teams need to win. And the Tom Cable era begins in Oakland as the Raiders go to New Orleans. In other words, it's another weekend where both Bay Area teams lose. But hey, at least the Kings game is next week. Not that anybody's making a big enough deal about it or anything.