Is that you Clyde? Seriously, this isn't cool! I'm the symbol this town needs! Not you!

Yesterday in the Quick Links I relayed the story of a proposed group of vigilantes that would "activate" (their words, not mine) if the city were to lay off 43 police officers this summer. Everybody and their mothers agreed that it was a horrible idea... ok, well everybody with a brain did (oh, and Mike Fitzgerald). Others called in to say "I have a death wish! Sign me up!" Which really wasn't that surprising.

What was surprising was that somebody called up to say they had that idea already. No really, they even have uniforms. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Angels of Christ (Ok, technically it's given by David Siders). They are by far the most depressing militia of all time.

They're run by (or at least represented by) Martin Hernandez of Stockton who decided to protest the proposed layoffs of at least 43 of Stockton's finest. Because, you know, the city wants to lay those officers off.

As if that uniform (which if our knowledge of all things Olden Polynice is correct, can't be legal) wasn't depressing enough, this group comes complete with delusions of grandeur!

From Siders' blog:

"Hernandez said there are 16 people in his group and that he has detained perhaps 20 people in three months for the Stockton Police Department to arrest."

Oh, so their working with Stockton PD. I wonder what they have to say about this uptick in vigilantism.

"Officer Pete Smith, a department spokesman, said, 'I’ve never heard of Angels of Christ.'"

Hmmm, that seems to directly contradict Hernandez's comment. Do they just drop criminals off on the Police Department's stoop? Surely they have more training than the Stockton Armed Militia.

"Hernandez said he learned in Sacramento 10 years ago how to arrest people and use weapons"

Oh, well that's in no way comforting. Nothing says "safety" like 10 year old detainment tactics. At the very least they're a bunch of big guys. You know, like bouncers or something. Somebody imposing looking and this disheveled, unemployed man is just their spokesperson.

"Hernandez, of Angels of Christ, is at the podium... He is introducing Sandra, who he said is also an Angel of Christ."

Aww, isn't that adorable. They let women into their group. Sandra must be some sort of Amazon woman if she can hang with the AoC.

"Sandra said she is a teenager."

What. The. Fuck. Fucking teenagers!?

So let me get this straight. Stockton's proposing laying off upwards of 90 police officers and the residents of our fair city come back with multiple vigilante groups patrolling the streets with one involving teenage girls? Seriously!? This is the best fucking idea we can come up with?

I hate to sound like an elitist (that's Fitzy's schtick) but this is why we have our current government structure. The residents of Stockton can never eeeeeeeeever bitch about the horrible ideas presented by the City Council again. Sure, some of them may present silly ideas like declaring bankruptcy. But that idea pales in comparison to having an armed, overmatched group of vigilantes roaming the most dangerous areas of Stockton or replacing sworn officers with sad-looking dudes and teenagers. Hell, compared to impending vigilante warfare declaring bankruptcy looks like as good an idea as a Scarlett Johannsen topless scene.

Sadly, the national media is picking up on these stories. They love to exploit crazy people apparently. In the previously linked Fitzy article the World's dumbest attorney Ron Stein said he had an appointment his morning to talk to the Associated Press. Great, because if there's one thing Stockton needs it's more negative press. Is it too early to start drinking bourbon?

Solving this "branding" problem

A view from near the top of the Stockton Arena. (Lifted with permission from a friend's myspace)

When I was dropping my brother off after the fights last night, we got back just in time to watch the Diaz/Denny fight on the CBS broadcast. First, I've changed my mind on the "209" chants. They actually came across pretty cool on TV. Double J's horrific attempts at pumping up the crowd just made me jaded. (And I wasn't the only one who thought he was horrific. Nick Diaz himself referred to him as "the obnoxious guy" in the Record's article about his fight.) The second, and most important thing is something my dad said "Wow, this is kind of a big deal isn't it?"

I should probably point out that my dad's not exactly a big MMA guy. He later asked me if this MMA thing was pretty new and was surprised to hear that MMA wasn't the company we were watching, but the name of the sport in general. He's about as outside an observer as can be, and even he knew it was a big deal. Stockton on national TV in primetime. This was a chance for us to show the entire nation that we weren't just some place where people can't afford their mortgages. If there was ever a time to push the Stockton "brand" this was it. Of course we couldn't count on Stockton, the paper, or even the embarrassment that was Double J to do it for us. Instead, Nick Diaz did it for us by proclaiming during his post fight interview "Real fighters are from Stockton," which caused the crowd to erupt.

That's how you brand a city. Not with bullshit banners. Not by building more fountains. Not by taking down fences. No bullshit Powerpoint presentations. You go on national TV and say that we're tough motherfuckers who never say die. And if there was anybody who could say it, it's Nick Diaz.

There's a reason I chose the handle "Slick Diaz", it's because Nick represents this city. He's had his fair share of adversity from dropping out of high school as a sophomore to having his biggest win stripped from him due to failing a drug test for pot. He's one of the more controversial figures in MMA and every time he fights he has to deal with the same bullshit with people questioning his character, yet he fights through it.

We as a city need to fight the notion that we're a poor, increasingly violent city by showing that we're fighters too. You don't win fights by saying the problem doesn't exist. You attack the problem head on. Instead of building hotels that we don't need or paying some jackass to give us a list of ridiculous ideas we need to concentrate on the real problem, namely our violent crime rate.

If the city really wants to brand the city for tourism reasons, "Celebrate Stockton!" isn't the way to go. We have nothing to celebrate. Last night at the Stockton Arena we were given a reason to celebrate. Stockton's a town for fighting, and as Record Editor Mike Klocke kind of put it (although didn't do a very good job), we've always been a fight town.

While this site's highlighted a lot of the negative in Stockton, that's not saying there's no hope. We're in a fight. Whether it be with the perception of outsiders, the perception of our city leaders, or the perception that the Record is a decent newspaper, we're fighting. Why? Because real fighters are from Stockton.

Least Suprisng News Ever.

A couple weeks ago I FJMed Fitzy's latest column about downtown reviatlization. If you remember, he called for more housing downtown. Saying we should give incentives to builders to build housing downtown.

Well, the most recent developer to build any sort of housing downtown got foreclosed on. That's right, even with the sweetheart deal the city gave them, including selling them the plot of land for a fucking dollar, the Sheraton may not be the Sheraton for much longer. On top of that, they haven't sold a single condo.

How could such a thing happen? What caused the biggest forclosure in all of Stockton? (Which is no small feat) Allegedly it's not the fact that noone can afford to, or would want to stay there. It's because they can't afford to pay off their construction debts.

Not having enough money? That couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that the hotel is a varitable ghost town. People staying there doesn't mean more money to pay off debts or anything. So where did the discrepency come from?

Regent (the development company) contends that the bank they got a contruction loan from, First Bank, withheld the final $6 million of a $40 million loan. That $6 million would have paid off roughly two-thirds of their $8.9 million debt. Umm, that's still a significant difference there guys. Not to mention $8.9 mil is the "at least" estimate. They also blame the failing housing market. Which is a fine claim, except for the fact that the housing market was failing when they started this whole debacle.

It's pretty obvious the reason the Sheraton failed. It's a question I asked when I first heard about the plans for the hotel. Who the hell would willing spend the night downtown? The city bought into that whole "Event City" schtick that has since been cast aside. (Great idea to cast aside a couple weeks before the biggest event Stockton's ever had.)

Clearly the hotel was going to be dependent on the tourism from the various events our event city held. With the consultant company (and by extension, the city) ditching events in favor of pink police cars and a fenceless downtown, they essentially guaranteed the Sheraton's failure. Without events to fill up hotel rooms and generate revenue all we're really stuck with is an expensive, nice looking building that probably not even the visiting minor league teams can afford to stay at. Thanks Steve Pinkerton, great visionary planning.