Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Quick Links for May 6th

Ah Wednesday...wait, it's Wednesday right? I was down shots of tequila and smoking a rare pack of cigarettes in honor of Cinco de Mayo yesterday so my mind's kinda fuzzy today. But I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday, wouldn't mind it being Thursday (or Friday), but it's been a painfully slow news week so I'm no...oh shit! Enough chit chat, Quick Links time!

Cue the training montage!

Wooo! Violent crime stats came out! Sure, if you're a new reader that may not be news to you, but the "Title" part of Reclaiming the Title is specifically the violent crime rate title we lost to Oakland. Sure, we want Stockton to have all titles and be the most decorated champion in the history of cities, but the violent crime rate title is the brass ring.

So how'd we do? Well, the actual violent crime rate won't be determined until later (probably next month) when 2008 population estimates come out, but the preliminary numbers are encouraging. Despite the lowest number of homicides since 1976, the number of violent crimes rose by 2.5%. The culprit? Aggravated assaults. From the linked article:

"'You can see the increase in aggravated assaults; that's really driving it,' said Officer Pete Smith, a Stockton Police Department spokesman."

See, we're totally a fight town.

No word on how Oakland did this year, so let's just hope that a bunch of people moved from Stockton to Oakland to inflate our rate while simultaneously deflating the O's.

Is there some "one vice at a time" law we're unaware of? (4th item down)

We're not going to pretend to understand permit law, but what the fuck does bong sales have to do with someone's ability to legally sell alcohol? Especially in Califuckingfornia. Technically they're for smoking tobacco, dude can't control it if people misuse his products. Other places are allowed to sell blunt wraps and booze and nobody uses those wraps for tobacco. I damn sure don't know anybody who uses piña colada wraps with their Buglers. But selling bongs is crossing a line? Technically they're healthier for you.

We're also massively disappointed with Susan Eggman for insinuating that people loitering out front and a cashier playing cards has any affect on alcohol sales. So what if it's close to a school? To buy any of that shit you gotta be 18 anyways. So how does that affect the kids? It's not like he's selling fucking pot. That's what Victory Park is for.

It is nice to see somebody's still selling looseys though.

Oh, and congratulations on reaching 1000 posts Mr. Siders. Not only is that a shitload of posts, but they were also 1000 times better than anything Fitzy's thrown up on his blog.

As if I wasn't having a hard enough time figuring out what day of the week it is already

Mike Fitzgerald's massive workload of 3 columns a week has been lightened to 2 apparently as Mike Klocke took on the Wednesday columnist duties and for once didn't have to announce changes to the paper. Instead he advocated the need for a more secure courthouse. Which is hilarious because, you know, one's on the way already. That's like us saying the city should layoff police officers to balance the budget. But hey, gotta write about something. So why not argue that the courtroom is dangerous because of one isolated incident involving a crazy meth head?

Of course, one incident isn't enough to be a trend so he included the dubious example of Brian Payne shouting out conspiracy theories. Because, you know, crazy handcuffed cokeheads shouting is totally dangerous.

Look, we understand the courthouse has the potential for danger, but let's face it, everywhere has that potential. And throwing money at a place for temporary upgrades sounds great but, I don't know if you've noticed, there isn't any fucking money. Yes, courthouse security is underfunded, but so is 99% of Stockton (That 1% being downtown Stockton). So yes, we recognize you need money, get in line behind the cops, firefighters, tree trimmers, and pretty much everybody else with outdated shit. Considering the courthouses needs are actually going to be met, forgive us if we really could care less about this "potential powder keg of disaster."

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