Thursday, April 2, 2009

The actual Quick Links for April 2nd

Hey look, news! And not "Low level public official calls someone a dirty Commie news", actual news! Let's just dive right the fuck in.

Not guilty? Really?

Oh hey, Teen Slave's back in the news. Remember him? Nothing really earth shattering came out of this latest court appearance. They did add charges of child abuse in relation to Schumacher and Lau's 4 other kids. Oh, and everybody but Mike Schumacher plead not guilty (Schumacher needed time to look over the new charges). Which is funny considering Kelly Lau gave that jailhouse interview way back when this first started where she tried to pin the whole thing on the abusive non-aunt. Gotta love people from Tracy. When they bring the crazy, they fucking bring it

This just in! Bottled water is bullshit!

It's stories like these that make me fear for future generations. UOP really needs an entire awareness WEEK to tell people that bottled water isn't any more pure than tap water? Isn't that common knowledge? Bottled water is for convenience, not purity. Of course, being a college full of dirty hippies, UOP couldn't let that stand. So, if you sign a pledge they'll give you a reusable canteen so you don't damage the planet with all that wasteful plastic you throw away. Of course, really I'd probably just throw the canteen away after the first use because really it's no different than a regular water bottle, it just doesn't come prefilled with water. Leave it to dirty hippies to pass out refillable water containers to replace a water container that you can already technically refill. It's all about awareness man!

Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man, but I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man...

That was a fucking intimate encounter? This is why we rarely write stuff in advance. Less than a half hour after I posted the previous post, Fitzy posted the hermaphrodite story on his blog and it was ridiculously underwhelming. We were expecting something measured that would depict s/he as relatively normal but, you know, with both parts. But instead we get a story about some crazy fucking wiccan. I'm both relieved and disappointed at the same time. The writer tried to throw in stuff about duality and shit in there but frankly, it wasn't all that fascinating. She tried to paint s/he as someone who walks like a woman and talks like a man (Lo-Lo-Lo-Lo-Looooola!) but everything she says about s/he screams "insane woman" to me. They also sound suspiciously like this person. So congrats Fitzy, instead of helping out the transgendered, you just made people think they're more insane than most crazy women. At least I can stop worrying about Fitzy being too blue even for us. I also pray this is the last time I have to use the hermaphrodite tag.

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