Top 5 omissions from the Record's "Hot Dates" feature yesterday

It's not officially the start of a season until the Record trots out their events calendar on the front page of the LENS section. We'd link to it but putting it up on their website would make too much sense. Why reference things in the paper when you can just visit their bullshit online events calendar that's full of every weaksauce fundraiser and bake sale put on by the few people in this town tech-savvy enough to understand how to work it? But as usual, the edition printed in the actual paper was missing a few rather important pieces of information. I got the brain trust together and here are the 5 biggest omissions in no particular order.

1. April 8th Ports Exhibition Game vs. the Rivercats

Yes, I know the game's already on the calendar, but their missing the most important piece of information. It's a battle of the California League Champs and the AAA National Champs. AAA ball doesn't come to Stockton often, so it's kind of a big deal. So of course the Record completely ignores that angle. The only way we know about it is because we stumbled upon the Ports' Front Office blog , which is actually a pretty decent read for you Ports fans.

2. April 11th Strikeforce Shamrock vs. Diaz HP Pavillion San Jose, CA

This is Nick Diaz's first fight since the EliteXC show in Stockton and Frank Shamrock's first fight in a long time. Both are local products so it makes total sense that the Record hasn't said a fuckng word about this upcoming card. Nevermind the fact that Elk Grove's Scott Smith is also fighting that night. I thought I saw Jake Shields (local fighter number four) on the card too but now it says TBA instead of his name so I assume he's injured. But still, Stockton's own Nick Diaz vs. Lockeford's own Frank Shamrock in the main event of a Showtime fight card doesn't warrant a sentence of coverage? Is the Record's entire sports department high? They're more than willing to fellate the local hockey, arena football, indoor soccer, and minor league baseball teams but they're not willing to cover what's arguably one of the hottest, fastest growing sports in the country? Especially one featuring at least 3 fighters with local connections? Aren't newspapers supposed to eat this shit up? They even list some random fucking boxing event at Arco at the end of the month and don't even list who's fighitng. MMA isn't WWE guys, it's a real fucking sport. Fucking treat it like one.

3. May 23rd Journey Live in Concert Raley Field Sacramento, CA

Let me get this straight, Sacramento can book Journey for an outdoor show in their baseball stadium and we can't? Fuck you IFG. Also, I gotta ask, what the fuck is the Mayor's Hike and Bike event that's listed there instead? You get an opportunity to hike and ride a bike with Ann Johnston? How would you keep up? Mountain goats can walk up steeper hillsides than people can. And why would anybody pay $20 for that? I know the city's hard up for money but that's not what I had in mind when Mayor Johnston started talking about volunteerism. I'll volunteer my time, not my wallet. And if I'm going to open that sucker up, it better be for something I can't do by myself for free.

4. Fats Party Bus to A's game (Date TBD)

OK, so we're running low on events. We're bloggers so we're naturally shut-ins. But BWDW Fats usually takes a bus to an A's game that results in some debaucherous levels of drinking around this time. I'm pretty sure Ben already knows which games but I'm too lazy to call his ass. Either way, this is way better than half the stuffy, boring events listed on the calendar. Plus, Fats has way better food than Paragary's. Whoever pays $40 for that Around the World bullshit next week is a fucking dumbass.

5. June 7th WEC 41 Urijah Faber vs Mike Brown for the WEC Featherweight title Arco Arena

Major MMA event number 2 that the Record missed. Faber is a Sacramento product and considered one of the best pound-for-pound fighters in the world. No really, MMA expert and AOL Fanhouse blogger Michael David Smith just listed Brown and Faber as 9th and 10 respectively in his Top Ten Pound-for-Pound fighter post yesterday. Faber lost his Featherweight title to Brown last year after holding it for a considerable amount of time and gets his rematch in his hometown. Two of the top ten pound-for-pound fighters in the World going toe-to-toe in a rematch for the title is a huge fucking deal. I'll definitely be there pulling for the California Kid to reclaim his title. So naturally the Record has no idea about it and would rather promote a Jewish Food Festival (even Bris Isaak thinks this is ridiculous, just don't tell his mom that).

Enough with the freaking out already

What the fuck is this, bad idea week? First we discovered that somebody thinks we want to know the answer to the question "I wonder what the life of a nationally ranked women's high school basketball team is like" is. Then Fitzy floated his horrible idea for a community-owned Stockton Thunder. And now the City Council has decided to one up Fitz and is considering buying the team outright in addition to buying out the remainder of its contract with IFG.

On the surface it seems like an OK idea. The deal with IFG continues to hamper the Arena's ability to even come close to turn a profit and a buyout clause in the IFG contract would allow Thunder owner Michael Reinsdorf to require the city purchase the teams anyway should they pursue a buyout (we've mentioned the shadiness of this whole relationship before right? Really fucking shady). Plus, if the city were to buy the teams, it would only be for the short term. Yesterday, our main reason against a community owned team was the the team's long-term profitability. That wouldn't be the case with this deal.

But it's still a bad idea just for timing's sake. This council seems to have a penchant for bad timing and going through with the first option would only piss off, well, pretty much everybody. Cops would be pissed because, if we have the money to buy a fucking hockey team, we should have enough to finally give them their raises and shut fuck up about layoffs. Already laid off city employees would be fuming. City services would be royally pissed after getting reorganized earlier this month for budgetary reasons. And most important of all (at least to Mike Fitzgerald), what about the dying urban forest!?

And the thing is, they'd all be justified. Especially with the less expensive option B (subcontracting out venue management to a 3rd party) sitting right there. All we have to do for that option is wait for the teams to be sold. We're still having a hard time fathoming why everybody's jumping at the opportunity to buy/save the Thunder. We said it earlier this week, they're not going fucking anywhere. Everybody needs to slow their fucking roll and realize we're talking about a 4-year old minor league hockey team (well, 4 years in Stockton at least) in a brand new arena, and not the fucking Moon Grizzlies (h/t KSK). Jesus, and I thought Kings fan's freaking out was overkill.

David Siders has the specifics of both proposed options up on his bad ass blog. It involves a lot of math and numbers and I was a journalism major so I'll let you figure it all out.

Who wants to piss away some money and a hockey team?

I owe Bris Isaak $25. Let me explain.

Last week the Thunder were put up for sale. Casual fans freaked out because they thought there was a chance the Thunder could move. They're wrong. But of course being wrong never stopped a sports fan before, why start now?

We consider ourselves something resembling experts in these situations because, as Kings fans, we've had to deal with the prospect of our team leaving us like gypsies in the middle of the night for seemingly forever. Which brings me to my debt. When this news broke early last week, my Hebrew homie and I ran down the different possible scenarios that could play out and the resulting media coverage. Because if there's one thing you can count on with the Record, it's that they'll at least cover the minor league hockey team. One scenario was "How long do you think it'll be before some hack suggests the community buys the team Packers-style?" We even narrowed it down to either Bob Highfill or Fitzy. Bris gave it a week, I had more faith in them than that. Why? I'll never know.

Yes, a week to the fucking day since Mike Reinsdorf announced the team was up for sale, Mike Fitzgerald decided he was that hack and suggested that we, the increasingly poor people of Stockton, buy the team. We specifically use the word "hack" because of just how poorly written this column is. We usually don't assail Fitzy's writing ability because our problem is more with his opinions and subject matter, he's usually stylistically-sound. But this time he appears to have gotten an e-mail suggesting an idea that comes up every time any team ever is up for sale, and then did absolutely no research beyond calling Ren Nosky and asking "This is possible in theory, right?" It's a horribly flawed column. So much so that we're going to FJM it. We have a lot of work to do with this one so go refill your coffee real quick. Don't worry, I can wait.

Ready? Ok, good.

"In 2007, in England, 20,000 fans paid about $40 each to purchase a majority share of the Ebbsfleet United Football club, with an option to own the entire team outright," Sherman writes.

Oh, so if a British soccer team can do it, we can. The level of passion Brits have for soccer is exactly the same level Stockton has for hockey. When you're citing soccer as an example, you know you're in for a bumpy ride.

Sherman goes on with this intriguing idea: "Here is the neat part, I think: Each transaction a team makes, all of the owners get to vote on. Coach stinks? Vote him out. Need a center? Vote to pick up a new one! The team has been very successful in England."

Intriguing? When did the definition of intriguing change to "giant clusterfuck"?

They don't micromanage the coach. But they could. Here's a sample Web ballot on fielding the week's team:

» "I want to give the coaches the responsibility of picking the team."

» "I want to pick the team and allow the coaches flexibility."

» "I want to pick the team but not allow the coaches flexibility."

» "I abstain."

They don't micromanage the coach, but here's a ballot where they're micromanaging the coach. Makes total fucking sense. The only result of that could be chaos.

This may sound like a recipe for chaos. It's not. Ebbsfleet won a major trophy last year; it's debt-free; and its Web presence brought in owner-fans from 122 countries.

So wait, polling 20,000 people about lineups and playing time wouldn't result in chaos because they won "a major trophy"? Not the title, just a fucking trophy? What is this? Little league? Have you listened to talk radio lately Fitz? Those are the sports fans you want to give the reins of the team to. The only result is chaos. The second the Thunder have a bad loss, someone will call for the coach's head, we'll have a vote, and because we're owned by a bunch of uninformed fucktards (the very next sentence after the quoted passage notes that some of Ebbsfleet's owners don't even know soccer and just own a share for novelty's sake), the coach could be fired for shit probably wasn't even responsible for. Not to mention who the fuck would want to play for a team where your playing time is dependant on the drunk asshole who yelled at you for fucking up his fantasy hockey league when your knee blew out last season when you were in the pros? (Full disclousre: I may have played the part of "drunk asshole" in this scenario before)

Of course, right now I'm ignoring the fact that this model for team ownership is contradicted in a quote further down in the same story! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's move on.

Offhand, I can think of several good reasons for Thunder fans to buy the team:

Translation: "Here's some unresearched justification for my stupid idea." This should be fucking gold.

We'd be Gods.

...

Was this written by Fitzy or a bunch of frat dudes headed to Spring Break with a pound of mary jane, a 6-foot beer bong, and 6 kegs of Icehouse in the trunk? ("We're gonna be fucking Gods man!")

Let me get this straight. Owning a minor league hockey team makes us Gods? It's that easy? What does that make the recently deceased Bill Davidson? He owned the Detroit Pistons, the Tampa Bay Lightening, and the Detroit Shock. Three professional teams (well, as professional as the WNBA can be). Does that make him like Ghanddahommed Christ (a combination of Ghandi, Budda, Muhommed, and Jesus)? Although team ownership equaling Godliness would explain how Al Davis has stayed alive for so long.

We could invite Alex Spanos to our sky box, with the bowing and scraping waitress serving cocktails and munchies.

Ummm, ok? Am I missing some sort of inside joke here? Is this some sort of backwards way to try and score some cheap Chargers tickets? An attempt to sell the naming rights to the Arena to him because if there's anybody who'll put his name on anything and everything it's Alex Spanos? And who still fantasizes about bowing and scraping waitresses? They're people too. The only people who make wait staff do that shit are dicks. And munchies? Are we schmoozing Spanos or getting him stoned? I could get behind that idea.

Nobody could move the Thunder.

Even though the only people talking about a move are misinformed fans. Oh and technically we could move the Thunder. Or, you know, if someone from out of town bought enough shares of the team from various fan-owners to gain a majority of the voting shares and voted to move the team to their city. If you think a Stocktonian hard up for cash wouldn't sell their stake to the first decent bidder then you're a dumbass.

Another point in favor of this deal - though I feel guilty saying this - involves the sweet deal the city gave the Thunder.

Quick note: this is coming from the same guy who said this a week ago.

And prepare yourselves, because this is the part where the wheels really come off the bus.

But if we owned the team, this politically and financially intolerable situation would go from "problemo" to "no problemo." We'd benefit from the sweet deal.

This is ignoring the fact that owners don't pocket the money from that deal, it goes directly back into the team. So, you know, the situation actually stays the same. The city will still be struggling to make ends meet. The benefit is spending less out of pocket on operating costs. Which is another flaw we'll get to in a second. First, let's allow Fitzy to explain his backwards logic.

The pressure would be off the politicians to worm out of the contract; the people's faith in City Hall would be restored; local democracy would be refreshed.

So if I'm reading this correctly, our faith in local government would be restored because we banded together and solved one of their contract problems for them. How exactly does that restore our faith in City Hall? He never says, it just does. Was he drunk when he wrote this? He's using drunk guy logic.

There's no legal obstacle, City Attorney Ren Nosky opined.

Nosky then proceeds to list 2 legal obstacles off the top of his head.

"As long as the new owners met the financial criteria" - that means as long as we pay the rent - "and showed a base knowledge of running a sports franchise - and I assume the people would retain somebody with that knowledge - there wouldn't be any impediment," Nosky said.

So we should all be able to vote online on things like lineup changes, but also would need someone to make those decisions for us. So we'd need money (again, something not many Stocktonians have lying around), and a puppet who would assure the ECHL that somebody competent was running the franchise, but would bend to every whim of Joe Sportsfan voter. Makes total sense.

But hey, about that money thing...

Reinsdorf has declined to state the price. Let's play with some math. If the team sells for $5 million - and I have no idea if that's anywhere near the right cost - and if 50,000 people chip in, that would be $100 a piece.

50,000 people, in a warm weather city, paying $100, for hockey. But no, really, this is totally workable. Because the cost of running a sports franchise doesn't fluctuate at all.

Look, the major problem with this entire situation is the same problem owners of teams across the country are dealing with. Revenue streams will eventually go down. Eventually everybody who wants a t-shirt will own a t-shirt. The honeymoon will wear off and the team will post a horrendous record out of the gate and ticket sales will plummet. That sweetheart deal with the city will eventually expire. Then what? That's why millionaires own teams. When the shit starts coming in, they can make it through the storm because they have the spare cash to throw into the team when the team isn't generating that revenue by itself. What happens if that happens to us?

Well, we have two choices, tax the city or sell off our shares at a probable lower price and watch the team move away. That's the most retarded thing about Fitzy's column, the result would actually put us in more danger of losing the team in the future. Sports franchises are rarely good business decisions. Nobody makes money through sports, they do it because they love it. You can only make a profit off a team if you're a nationally recognized brand like the Packers, Yankees, or Celtics. Plus, out of the top 5 sports (Football, baseball, basketball, Nascar, and hockey), hockey is the 5th most popular. Especially without a parking structure to generate revenue, I kind of doubt that merchandising is going to result in enough cash to cover whatever budgetary gap we'd eventually face.

Investing in a minor league hockey team is a guaranteed way to throw away money. While it looks like a good idea in the short term it would only harm the team and actually do no amount of good for the city and could/probably would result in higher taxes. In short, horrible idea, presented by a horrible columnist. And I'll leave you with one more quote that kind of sums up this whole column.

We need detail people.

No shit Sherlock.

Quick Links for March 16th

Note to self: always save periodically. I fucking hate this computer sometimes. Here's Quick Links take 2.

I wonder if they paid by check

Sad news out of Stockton today, Jim Rachels is no longer the primary owner of the Stockton Thunder. He announced the sale of controlling interest of the team to a group based out of Livermore. Unlike with the pending sales of the Thunder and Lightening, there is a chance that the Cougars could move. And very much like those same teams, noone cares. How little to people care? The Cougars won the title of whatever league they're in now and the story didn't even hit the Record's website until, if I'm reading the timestamp correctly, about 20 mins ago.

Rachels earned a place in our hearts as our favorite local team owner after alienating his target fan base a few years back. So we're kind of sad to see him go. Maybe he can come back with an NBADL team and talk about how he wants to make sure the Arena starts serving watermelon and grape drink.

St. Patrick is rolling in his grave

This year's downtown St. Patrick's Day festival fucking blew. It was realllllly disappointing, and not just because we missed an opportunity to drink Christian Burkin under the table. For one, beers in the fenced off outdoor portion of the festivities were fucking $5. That was after you paid $5 just for the privilege to drink in their little fenced off area with a band nearby. And on top of that you still had to pay for the corned beef sandwich. In other words, they took a relatively inexpensive event and turned it into a blatant cash grab. So instead of allowing everybody to watch our wallets get raped in full view of the public in Janet Leigh Plaza, we hoofed it to Bradley's which had no cover, cheaper beer, and a similarly priced corned beef sandwich. So yeah, El Duke apologizes for suggesting Beach Hut over Bradley's. Bradley's was the obvious way to go. Way to fuck up a decent event Downtown Alliance.

All dog's balls go to heaven

I really have nothing to add to this, I just really wanted to use this headline.

Well, it's official. The Harry Potter trend is dead

Sure, the final book was released a while ago, but if there's ever a sign of a trend-apocalypse it's when old white people think something's cool. This is doubly true when it involves politicians. Unless of course that politician is Barry Obama. Then it adds another 5 years of relevancy. So just remember, when the government thinks something is cool, it's usually a sign that that thing is about to die a slow, painful death...oh fuck.

Stockton Thunder hockey, Tickets (and now the team) still available!

So the big story of the day is that Thunder owner Michael Reinsdorf wants to sell the team. It has nothing to do with money or attendance or anything like that. He just claims that he's tired of making trips to Stockton all the way from back east. And really we can't blame him. Of course whenever a team owner even hints at possibly selling the team some casual fans (also known as idiots) immediately think they're trying to move the team.

I call these fans idiots because even a cursory glance at the usual factors surrounding moving rumors (which, being Kings fans, we're sort of experts in) aren't anywhere close to being in play here. Any move would have to be approved by the ECHL. The factors most leagues look at are the economic viability of the venue (for the team, not the city) and fan support/attendance. The Stockton Arena is brand spanking new by ECHL standards and the Thunder's sweetheart deal with the city gives them an added boost in this category. And considering we're about to lead the league in attendance for the 4th straight year I'd say we're doing fine in regards to fan support. So the only reason an owner could justify moving the Thunder is for shits and giggles, and you need more than that to uproot a franchise. Unless of course you're Clay Bennett (who ironically owns another team called the Thunder). Of course this is all ignoring the fact that moving a franchise would also require another city getting some sort of better, state-of-the-art arena to entice the franchise to move. And in this economy it'll be a while before we see a publicly funded arena again.

The other story within the story is how this affects the aforementioned sweetheart deal with IFG and the Thunder. Reinsdorf, in addition to owning the Thunder and Lightening, is the managing director of IFG (the company that manages the city's various venues for those of you living under a rock for the past decade). We've always thought that was kind of a conflict of interests since we can't imagine Reinsdorf/IFG would renegotiate contract terms that would hurt the revenue of the franchises he owns.

We're pretty sure that's exactly why Ann Johnston thinks the sale could help in negotiations with IFG. Once Reindsdorf sells the team(s), he has no real vested interest in the money that goes to the tenants since he'd no longer be one of them. It's like if someone were to sublet out their apartment before the lease is up. If the landlord comes while you're still there and suggests raising rent you'd probably fight it to the death. But once you pawned off the place one someone else you probably wouldn't give two shits about what rent was after you left. Let that sucker who took the place off your hands deal with it.

So in short, Reinsdorf selling off his teams is probably the best thing that could happen to the Arena short of IFG deciding to get off it's lazy ass and actually trying at their job for once.

Update: I didn't see Fitzy's take on this so I figured I'd pass it along. Mostly because it confuses us as to what we're actually talking about renegotiating. The article we linked to seemed to infer (and by infer I mean outright stated) that after Reinsdorf sold the team, it'd help with the contract we have with IFG. Fitzy seems to think the contract we need to focus on is the one with the actual team.

We're by no means experts on the city's contracts so some clarification may be needed. There's the of the lease with the actual franchise (which the city would have to approve the transfer of upon sale of the team), then there's the contract with IFG. As the article states they're two separate entities. Fitzy seems to be confusing them as one.

So is Fitzy confused, are we confused, or is everybody confused? Please let us know.

It took us a while to see this since we admittedly skip most of the Sports section, but Steve Roberson's article about realigning/rejoining the two high school athletic associations (TCAL and SJAA) is an interesting read. All of us attended local high schools and were pissed that they split the leagues. Mostly because it separated our alma maters from their traditional rival. The sad thing is that you can't even decipher which schools we're talking about because for some God forsaken reason they separated almost every rivalry (Tracy-West, St. Mary's-Lincoln, Tokay-Lodi, Bear Creek-Anybody who would play them).

Now they're discussing a possible recombination of the leagues that would realign them into one huge super-league broken up into two divisions not unlike the way the SEC works. It really seems like the perfect option. Only nobody in the SJAA wants it to happen. Why? It would mean they'd lose to St. Mary's in pretty much every major sport because St. Mary's is a Division 3 school while the rest of the schools in both TCAL and SJAA are Division 1. Plus, St. Mary's is, unless this have changed since I went to school, a private school that's allowed to recruit while the other schools are forced to take what school boundaries give them. Shit, women's TCAL teams only play St. Mary's once because the talent level discrepancy. So much for competitive equity.

So that got me thinking, how could we solve this problem? And the answer seems simple enough only it'll never happen because the rich, white people in this town would set fire to the CIF offices. Oh and because of money obviously. But here goes anyways....

Fuck St. Mary's, tell them to go find their own league of private school douchebags (or a league of D3 teams). Having a high school following a different set of rules than the rest of the league is bullshit. If they want to compete with other area public schools then they should follow all the rules public schools follow. If you're going to ding Franklin for bringing players in from Samoa then ding St. Mary's for having players from Lodi or Morada. It's unfair that St. Mary's boundaries are "Whomever can afford our tuition or received a scholarship from us" while McNair or Ceasar Chavez are stuck with the immediate vicinity of their schools.

High Schools sports for the last few years have been boring as shit. Why? Because all we hear about is either St. Mary's or Lincoln (Which kind of negates the CIF's whole competitive equity argument, you know, more than St. Mary's already has). You don't hear about the big Tokay-Lodi games for the league title anymore because they're not in the same league anymore. You ever been to a rivalry game that fucking means something? It's electric. Now? Nobody gives a shit because it's an exhibition game. They took some of the area's biggest rivalries and turned them into fucking preseason games. If I may channel Peter King for a second, that's the definition of a traveshamockery.

So yeah, reunite the leagues and tell St. Mary's to go fuck themselves on that big ass statue of the Virgin Mary.

Today is the day to watch grown men fawn over young boys

Or, as its better known, national signing day.  The Leader is already going nuts with who is going where.  But the local scene is a bit quiet.  By quick off hand count, Chris Henry, Lavelle Hawkins, and Reagan Maui'a are all local products playing on Sunday.

Matt Meyer was an early commit to USC, arguably the best program in the country, who was a Lincoln High product last year.

But all is quiet on the front of where local products are going, except for this little nugget buried at the bottom.

Of course, please don't get overzealous and do this.

Not quite what we meant by reclaiming the title, but we'll take it

While it continues to amaze me that the A's can have such a good farm system but still somehow blow goats at the pro level, it still doesn't take away from the fact that one of the city's minor league teams is good at something. The Ports are Pacific Coast League Champions. (I'd like to extend a hearty "fuck you" to whomever at recordnet.com decided that the Ports winning the title should be buried to the point that it's not even a featured story in the sports section. Bang up job.)

Congrats guys, now let's see if we can transfer that winning attitude to the other minor league teams and see if they can at least be only a few games under .500 this year. (I have realiztic expectations. Although even a barely sub-.500 season from any of them seems borderline unrealistic.)

How to make a Stockton minor league team relevant and newsworthy: Compete for a championship

Congrats to the Ports for beating the San Jose Giants last night and making it to the California League Championship Series. Please don't take their advancement as an indictment against our psychic abilities. We have it on good authority that somebody traveled back in time and messed with the past. Game 1 of the series against the Lancaster Jethawks starts today at 7:05pm. No word on if the Thirsty Thursday promotion includes the playoffs. The Lancaster Team has a Papelbon brother (Josh) pitching in relief. Which gives us an excuse to post this video of his brother getting his "Dirty Dancing" on:

Welcoming in a new guy to the fold

And he's a fucking Jew to boot. Id like to give a hearty thanks to El Duke and Slick for reaching out to a poor smutz down on his luck. Oi!

I was born and raised here. I know how hardcore we are. People everywhere who have no reason to know about the 209 do.

We steal cars. We invade homes. When the games not going our way, we tackle the other teams kids.


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Bring it!

I lived away and people handed me their wallets saying"I dont want no trouble..." Thats where I come from. I love it and hate it all at once. Street cred comes quick with mention on Stockton and the surrounding area.

Anyways, my affinity for the chosen people of Israel and my love of sports and violence brings me here. Thanks for opening the door, and lets make it sexy shall we?