Fuck, I'm sick as a dog. I'd call in sick but I had to get sick during one of the two days where calling in sick is most abused, so nobody would believe me anyway. No word yet on the KSK Nasty Fetish Tourney. The matchups will go up as soon as Punter sends them to us. The fact that just announcing the tourney is coming here may have resulted in links to us being taken down on more respectable sites brings me some sick kind of joy. I wonder if that's a fetish we can sneak into the FetishInsider.com tourney. No way in hell we'd get hoodwinked into paying for hosting that tournament like some places I know. Hey, speaking of, Quick Links!
Hey guys, this matters! Really! We're still playing! Pay attention!
For those who don't know, UOP paid a pretty penny ($28,500 a round actually) to host the CollegeInsider.com Tournament. Why? I'll never know. I didn't been know there was a tournament past the NIT, let alone two. Apparently I'm not the only one as the opening game only drew 1,876 fans and UOP was said to have lost up to $10,000 hosting the game. So AD Lynn King promptly signed them up to host the quarterfinals. Makes total sense.
Of course after posting that dismal attendance number UOP's going on the offensive and trying to position the tournament as meaningful when it's anything but. The CollegeInsider.com Tourney is just a giant waste of money. Sure, it gives seniors and extra couple of games to play, but who really cares? We're all in the midst of watching the highest quality college basketball, who would then want to go back to watching a team that couldn't even make the other 2 postseason tournaments. The quality of play is just too low. Plus, what's really the best case scenario? Let's say UOP runs the table and wins the whole shebang, where does that rank them nationally? There are 3 other tournaments considered higher in prestige than the first year CollegeInsider.com tourney. Assuming they all field 65 teams, UOP's tourney victory would rank them 195th or so (math's not my strong suit) in the nation. Is that really worth the roughly $127,000 UOP would have to pay to host all 4 rounds? Couldn't that money have gone towards something better? Hey, what's this....
It doesn't matter if you're good looking, it doesn't matter if you wear Dungarees, it doesn't matter if you're fun to be around. Sooner or later, you're going to get raped
You know, $127k seems like a decent amount of hush money. I bet they could have offered that money to this broad and avoid the bad press instead of paying to play in a tournament where your second round opponent harbors one of the spurned alleged rapists. We're not coming down one way or the other on the whole rape issue, we don't know the details, but one would thing UOP would have made sure that this story wouldn't pop up a year later. Especially during a time when most kids and their parents are deciding on colleges. And double-especially with their unfortunate second round matchup in their Mickey Mouse tournament. Words can't express how disappointed I am that Steffan Johnson is ineligible for this game. That's how you pack an arena, with an alleged rapist. Just ask Don King.
I wonder how Fitzy feels about tree rape's seeding in the fetish tourney
Apparently Fitzy's new goal is to include as little actual information in his columns as possible. First there was his community-owned team idea where one of his reasons (the top reason actually) for owning the team was "We'd be Gods". The meaning of which is still not entirely certain. And now he's doing retreads from his blog (which we would link to if the Record's search engine was anything resembling competent). Of course Fitzy's long crusade for trees seems like one giant retread because he rarely says anything new. Urban forest is dying, City Hall is blowing it if they don't address the issue, city will be ugly without trees, volunteer to help, blah blah fucking blah. Who needs new information? It's not like he writes for a newspaper or anything.
Special preview! Don Blount sees typewriters!
And if you thought a column about trees was exciting, wait til you read Don Blount's column about antiquing or something. What information will be revealed? Probably none, other than the fact that typewriters are old any nobody uses them anymore, which means college hipsters are going to start buying them all up and turning in typewritten term papers for irony's sake. And you know what that means, trend piece! That sound you hear is journalism dying a little bit.
Showing posts with label UOP. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UOP. Show all posts
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Quick Links for Nov. 20th
It's an audit-palooza today! We'll be getting to the awesomeness that is the State Controller's audit of Delta College's Measure L spending a little later today. But in the meantime, here's some quick links to tide you over.
I guess this means we're no longer a town full of illiterates. Unless somebody checked out $3 million worth of picture books and couldn't read the due date. There's also a strong possibility that in concentrating on literacy, we neglected our math skills and got the fees wrong.
It's stories like this that make me wonder if a website centering around the goings-on in Stockton was a good idea. I guess we're less tech savvy than we thought. Although we can't blame the kid, have you seen some of the pictures women post on MySpace? I'd try and meet those broads under dubious circumstances too.
Two struggling charities stories in one week? Must be holiday season.
This is bullshit, and we're not even smokers. Who benefits from taking away the smoking areas? Nobody, that's who. Smokers now have to go to the sidewalk to smoke? What was wrong with their designated smoking areas? Fuck setting an example, this is just discrimintion. Welcome to California, where the law will protect any wacky right you want, unless you're a smoker or a monogamous gay.
We've been wondering what the deal with Jason Anderson is for a while. He's billed as the sports reporter on the UOP beat, but lately Jagdip Dhillon has been doing the UOP stories. That leaves Anderson somewhat beatless. Today we opened up the Record and see a fancy new pic of him in a suit. Which begs the question, is Jason Anderson the new columnist for the Record's sports page? If he is, a column about women's basketball probably isn't the best way to start. Although it does make El Duke's line yesterday about noone caring about women's basketball somewhat prophetic. Although Duke was on quite a roll yesterday anyways.
We've mentioned UOP's campaign against fun before, but now people who actually go to UOP are getting tired of it. We're just glad John Belushi isn't alive to see the death of a system he made famous.
I guess this means we're no longer a town full of illiterates. Unless somebody checked out $3 million worth of picture books and couldn't read the due date. There's also a strong possibility that in concentrating on literacy, we neglected our math skills and got the fees wrong.
It's stories like this that make me wonder if a website centering around the goings-on in Stockton was a good idea. I guess we're less tech savvy than we thought. Although we can't blame the kid, have you seen some of the pictures women post on MySpace? I'd try and meet those broads under dubious circumstances too.
Two struggling charities stories in one week? Must be holiday season.
This is bullshit, and we're not even smokers. Who benefits from taking away the smoking areas? Nobody, that's who. Smokers now have to go to the sidewalk to smoke? What was wrong with their designated smoking areas? Fuck setting an example, this is just discrimintion. Welcome to California, where the law will protect any wacky right you want, unless you're a smoker or a monogamous gay.
We've been wondering what the deal with Jason Anderson is for a while. He's billed as the sports reporter on the UOP beat, but lately Jagdip Dhillon has been doing the UOP stories. That leaves Anderson somewhat beatless. Today we opened up the Record and see a fancy new pic of him in a suit. Which begs the question, is Jason Anderson the new columnist for the Record's sports page? If he is, a column about women's basketball probably isn't the best way to start. Although it does make El Duke's line yesterday about noone caring about women's basketball somewhat prophetic. Although Duke was on quite a roll yesterday anyways.
We've mentioned UOP's campaign against fun before, but now people who actually go to UOP are getting tired of it. We're just glad John Belushi isn't alive to see the death of a system he made famous.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
What does the Pacifican have against drinking?
We're admitted journonerds over here. While we're not slaves to the AP style guide or even proper spelling, we are fans of the whole journalism thing. We try and keep tabs on local papers but, as you can probably tell, we tend to keep the focus on one paper. Mostly because the other papers in Stockton are college run student newspapers, and we just feel wrong making fun of kids who barely know what they're doing in the first place. But UOP's paper The Pacifican has raised an important question that we feel needs to be asked. Namely, what does The Pacifican have against drinking?
We first began to question The Pacifican's objectivity when we saw the front page teaser about UOP's new alcohol policy. It touted it as the "New and Improved Alcohol Policy". While no one here is trying to argue the newness of the policy, improvement is in the eye of the beholder. If you ask the group of students who have a fondness for White Russians what they think about the banning of mixed drinks, they probably would object to the inclusion of the word improved.
While that's not nearly enough to prove bias, the next edition of The Pacifican irked us a little bit. We had written off the teaser as somebody throwing in an often used phrase without realizing that they were saying the policiy was an improvement over the old. It happens, trust us. But then we were tipped off to the story that graced the front of the Pacifican last week. It visits the whole college presidents signing a letter story we talked about earlier, and then decidedly comes down on one side. Which would be fine if it wasn't presented as a news story. It's not a news story, it's an opinion story where UOP VP of Student Life gives us the cold, hard facts.
Facts like "The National Highway Safety Administration estimates that more than 1,000 lives are saved in traffic crashes each year with the increase in the legal drinking age to 21 from 18."
Estimates are facts? I could have sworn they were just educated guesses, but I'm sure all estimates end up being fact. Just ask the Delta trustees.
Another "fact" from Griego, "Lowering the drinking age will have the effect of increasing drinking overall and will push problems with drinking to even younger ages."
Any of that sound familiar? Well it shouldn't because that quote directly contradicts the study we linked to in this story. Those facts, they're stubborn things.
While that story may have just suffered from a writer who didn't do research and didn't even bother to find the other side of the story to reamin somewhat objective (which again, happens in college journalism more than we'd like to remember), what made us finally think that the Pacifican had a vendetta against imbibing was an advice column letter. It reads:
Dear Jane,
Last year, I never went out to parties or did anything "fun." This year, I seem tohave already started out on the wrong foot. I have begun to consume alcohol almost every other day, and it's getting too much to handle. There is so much peer pressure and I don't know how I can stop without getting made fun of or kicked out of the group of guys I hang out with. What should I do?
Frank the Tank
The advice given is something along the lines of friends who pressure you aren't your friends. And if someone hands you a cup, nurse the drink all night.
In other words it's a bullshit answer. I gathered the braintrust together to give some advice with hair on it's nutsack.
Frank, quit being a pussy. Oh no, you drink with a group of friends every other night. How about you write in when you're drinking every night alone! And if your biggest fear in quitting drinking is that you're going to be made fun of, then let us all cordially invite you to grow a set of balls because if the guys are going rip on you whether you drink or not. It's what guys do. In conclusion, we're beginning to question whether or not you're even a real college student or just a giant gaping vagina that roams around campus.
Sincerely, Reclaiming the Title
Wow, sorry. Got off an a tangent for a sec there.
In reality, the Pacifican probably isn't biased. It's probably just like every college newspaper, a bunch of kids learning how jackasses with too much time on their hands can critique every word they write to question their ethics. The bias question does need to be raised, but in all likelyhood it's not an intentional bias. Although we still seriously doubt Frank the Tank exists.
We first began to question The Pacifican's objectivity when we saw the front page teaser about UOP's new alcohol policy. It touted it as the "New and Improved Alcohol Policy". While no one here is trying to argue the newness of the policy, improvement is in the eye of the beholder. If you ask the group of students who have a fondness for White Russians what they think about the banning of mixed drinks, they probably would object to the inclusion of the word improved.
While that's not nearly enough to prove bias, the next edition of The Pacifican irked us a little bit. We had written off the teaser as somebody throwing in an often used phrase without realizing that they were saying the policiy was an improvement over the old. It happens, trust us. But then we were tipped off to the story that graced the front of the Pacifican last week. It visits the whole college presidents signing a letter story we talked about earlier, and then decidedly comes down on one side. Which would be fine if it wasn't presented as a news story. It's not a news story, it's an opinion story where UOP VP of Student Life gives us the cold, hard facts.
Facts like "The National Highway Safety Administration estimates that more than 1,000 lives are saved in traffic crashes each year with the increase in the legal drinking age to 21 from 18."
Estimates are facts? I could have sworn they were just educated guesses, but I'm sure all estimates end up being fact. Just ask the Delta trustees.
Another "fact" from Griego, "Lowering the drinking age will have the effect of increasing drinking overall and will push problems with drinking to even younger ages."
Any of that sound familiar? Well it shouldn't because that quote directly contradicts the study we linked to in this story. Those facts, they're stubborn things.
While that story may have just suffered from a writer who didn't do research and didn't even bother to find the other side of the story to reamin somewhat objective (which again, happens in college journalism more than we'd like to remember), what made us finally think that the Pacifican had a vendetta against imbibing was an advice column letter. It reads:
Dear Jane,
Last year, I never went out to parties or did anything "fun." This year, I seem tohave already started out on the wrong foot. I have begun to consume alcohol almost every other day, and it's getting too much to handle. There is so much peer pressure and I don't know how I can stop without getting made fun of or kicked out of the group of guys I hang out with. What should I do?
Frank the Tank
The advice given is something along the lines of friends who pressure you aren't your friends. And if someone hands you a cup, nurse the drink all night.
In other words it's a bullshit answer. I gathered the braintrust together to give some advice with hair on it's nutsack.
Frank, quit being a pussy. Oh no, you drink with a group of friends every other night. How about you write in when you're drinking every night alone! And if your biggest fear in quitting drinking is that you're going to be made fun of, then let us all cordially invite you to grow a set of balls because if the guys are going rip on you whether you drink or not. It's what guys do. In conclusion, we're beginning to question whether or not you're even a real college student or just a giant gaping vagina that roams around campus.
Sincerely, Reclaiming the Title
Wow, sorry. Got off an a tangent for a sec there.
In reality, the Pacifican probably isn't biased. It's probably just like every college newspaper, a bunch of kids learning how jackasses with too much time on their hands can critique every word they write to question their ethics. The bias question does need to be raised, but in all likelyhood it's not an intentional bias. Although we still seriously doubt Frank the Tank exists.
Monday, September 8, 2008
New Drinking Policy? More like New Stinking Policy
A few weeks ago I read an interesting story about the Presidents of Duke, Syracuse, Ohio State, and 90 or so other colleges who signed a letter requesting the federal government lower the legal drinking age to 18 to help curb binge drinking. (Note: Imagine our surprise when we discovered in this USA Today article that binge drinking is described as "four or five drinks in one sitting." We call that "settling in", but to each their own I guess.) The gist of the President's letter is that college students regardless of age are going to drink. Studies (that USA Today link) have shown that binge drinking actually decreases once a person hits the legal drinking age, so why not lower the legal drinking age to help curb excessive drinking.
It's an enlightened idea. Of course MADD got pissed and said that those colleges obviously don't care about the children and wouldn't enforce drinking ages. Which is hilarious because if they just read the study they'd know that the goal is to decrease excessive drinking. God those bitches are nuts. In fact they're so nuts, it reminded me of a certain local college's archaic stance towards alcohol.
A friend of ours alerted us to the newly revised university drinking policy which outright bans hard liquor anywhere on campus and limits the amount of beer a person can have to just a six-pack. (Scroll down to page 17) Drinking games have been prohibited. We also heard (but couldn't find anywhere in the "Tiger Lore" booklet) that for some random reason banned hookah. (For those of you who don't remember the hookah fad of 2004, hookah is flavored tobacco smoked in a bong-resembling water pipe by fictional catapillars and Persians.)
Trying to control alcohol consumption on a college campus is about as ambitious an idea as trying to tell basketball players to not fuck hot drunk girls, it just isn't going to happen.
What is going to happen? Attempting to limit the quality and quantity of hooch on campus is only going to result in off campus parties. So instead of some drunk stumbling across campus, you get and increase in drunk drivers on the roads surrounding The Island. College kids are going to drink. They're going to drink a lot. A half-assed attempt at prohibition is, according to that USA Today article we linked to earlier, only going to increase extreme drinking.
We're not saying UOP should just give up like MADD says the Presidents of Duke and Syracuse are doing. What we are saying is limiting drinks at the Lair to 3 or banning the drinks that actually get you drunk is just flat out ignorant.
Oh, and thanks to El Duké for the awesome headline. It's why he was brought on.
It's an enlightened idea. Of course MADD got pissed and said that those colleges obviously don't care about the children and wouldn't enforce drinking ages. Which is hilarious because if they just read the study they'd know that the goal is to decrease excessive drinking. God those bitches are nuts. In fact they're so nuts, it reminded me of a certain local college's archaic stance towards alcohol.
A friend of ours alerted us to the newly revised university drinking policy which outright bans hard liquor anywhere on campus and limits the amount of beer a person can have to just a six-pack. (Scroll down to page 17) Drinking games have been prohibited. We also heard (but couldn't find anywhere in the "Tiger Lore" booklet) that for some random reason banned hookah. (For those of you who don't remember the hookah fad of 2004, hookah is flavored tobacco smoked in a bong-resembling water pipe by fictional catapillars and Persians.)
Trying to control alcohol consumption on a college campus is about as ambitious an idea as trying to tell basketball players to not fuck hot drunk girls, it just isn't going to happen.
What is going to happen? Attempting to limit the quality and quantity of hooch on campus is only going to result in off campus parties. So instead of some drunk stumbling across campus, you get and increase in drunk drivers on the roads surrounding The Island. College kids are going to drink. They're going to drink a lot. A half-assed attempt at prohibition is, according to that USA Today article we linked to earlier, only going to increase extreme drinking.
We're not saying UOP should just give up like MADD says the Presidents of Duke and Syracuse are doing. What we are saying is limiting drinks at the Lair to 3 or banning the drinks that actually get you drunk is just flat out ignorant.
Oh, and thanks to El Duké for the awesome headline. It's why he was brought on.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
ZOMG! Sports news people actually care about. Give that man a sidebar!
I was planning on going to the press conference the Kings had at UOP yesterday, but in true Record fashion they buried the time and location of Coach Theus' appearance in the Local Roundup section of the completly useless Sports page. I wouldn't have been able to make it anyways since I had to work at the time. But I wonder what went on there...
Holy Schnikes! An actual article about the Kings written by a Record writer? (With the exact headline I would have come up with too) Jason Anderson isn't just a pseudonym for Sam Amick right? The Record actually decided to cover a team people actually care about? I mean sure, nothing that we didn't know already was in the article. (Did you know the Kings are in the middle of a youth movement?) But hey, this is a step towards them, you know, actually covering the game when they come to they Spanos Center.
Original reporting about the closest professional sports team (minor leagues don't count. Or in the case of the Lightening, minor league teams of minor leagues.) resulted in me actually reading part of the Record's Sports page for the first time in a long fucking while. Original articles, what a novel concept.
Holy Schnikes! An actual article about the Kings written by a Record writer? (With the exact headline I would have come up with too) Jason Anderson isn't just a pseudonym for Sam Amick right? The Record actually decided to cover a team people actually care about? I mean sure, nothing that we didn't know already was in the article. (Did you know the Kings are in the middle of a youth movement?) But hey, this is a step towards them, you know, actually covering the game when they come to they Spanos Center.
Original reporting about the closest professional sports team (minor leagues don't count. Or in the case of the Lightening, minor league teams of minor leagues.) resulted in me actually reading part of the Record's Sports page for the first time in a long fucking while. Original articles, what a novel concept.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
El Duke visits the new UOP University Center (It's fancy, and green)
One of the advantages blogging has over print media is we can get our stories to you right away instead of the next morning. So in an effort to scoop the Record (again), I'm getting my review on.
UOP's brand spankin' new University Center opened today and as a way todrum up press test the new facility, they gave away free lunches to pretty much anybody who walked in with a confused look on their face. Yours truly included.
Personally I was hoping that the new campus pub the Tiger's Lair would be giving away free brewskis, but I knew that wasn't the case. I would have tried but as soon as I walked in I knew I was going to be in for a long wait for my free lunch and soda (finally with free refills!), so I picked one of the 37 lines that protruded out of the Marketplace (their fancy name for the cafeteria) and promptly realized I was in the wrong line.
Eventually one of the many Pacific staffers on hand enthusiastically handed me a map and gave me a quick guided tour of the 5 available food stations. Which I will now list if for no other reason than to show of their hilarious names:
On Exhibition
Apparently this means grilled items. Like burgers and and such.
Grainery/Deli
Technically they're two separate station, but one's bread and soup and shit. The other's the sandwich station. Bet you can't guess which is which!
Pacific Rim
Asian food. Allegedly including sushi. And other various Oriental delights.
Classics
All that classic food your mom used to make like spaghetti, meatloaf, and chicken.
Taqueria
This is a Stockton based blog, I shouldn't have to explain what a Taqueria is.
There's also a salad bar and a coffee shop on the first floor in the general vicinity of the Marketplace. But those cost money so I didn't even go near them.
I opted for the Oriental section, mostly because in the old Summit (the previous cafeteria-type place) that meant a bowl of rice with stir fry on top. As I approached the station, I realized that was not the case. Instead of a made when you order it rice bowl, the Asian station has turned into pretty much a cafeteria-style experience. You have your tray, you tell the person behind the counter what you want, and they scoop it out of another tray and hand you a plate with your food on it. Maybe the the Summit spoiled me (As a college age resident of Stockton, I've spent my fair share of time at UOP). Granted, this new system isn't a bad thing, I'm just a creature of habit. While disappointed that I didn't have my rice bowl, I was happy that I was able to get my food almost immediately (that "almost" being the line). Before, while waiting for the rice bowl, you had to kind of stand around with a usually huge line behind you while waiting for the stir fry to..well..fry. Time is the price for freshness.
I was also happy that they finally added some variety. Before, the rice bowl was the extent of the Asian cuisine experience at UOP. Well, unless you count the sushi trays. But I make it a general rule to not buy prepackaged sushi sitting in an open air fridge. Just a personal choice, but understandable. But while I was excited to try something new, it also exposed one of my cultural weaknesses. I'm not really up snuff on my Asian foods. I recognized some of the easy ones, there was some chow mein, white and fried rice, and an egg roll. But past that I was at a loss. There was something that was deep fried that tasted kind of sweet and soury, but didn't have any sweet and sour sauce. (Unless they cooked it into the deep fry batter McGriddle style. If so, I want to marry that little sweet and sour ball and have its kids.) There was also some sort of vegetable mix that swam around in what I think was teriyaki sauce. (Oh yeah, I'm no food critic either. But we'll get to what I thought of the foods later.)
After I got my food I needed to find something to wash it all down with. On each side of the Marketplace there's fountain drink stations. Unfortunately while there were 6 or so food stations, there were only 2 drink stations. Depressingly this was twice the amount of drink stations the Summit had. (3 times if you count the Lair) After finding which winding line was the one that ended with me getting a drink, I informed the two empty handed people in front of me that this was the drink line. I then handed them my map and they thanked me as they braved the free food frenzy. The drink line took longer than my food line, but that was more because the jackasses in front of me had an undetermined number of people in their group. Sometimes I was only 3 people away, but then 2 of their friends would come back with cups, because they all forgot cups. And then after all of that, the assholes get water. It's free food fuckos! That means load up on the Mt. Dew while it flows like water!
When it was finally my turn I was disappointed to find out that the ice had run out. It was excusable because roughly half the population of Stockton had descended upon the place in search for a free lunch. Although that still didn't take the sting out of waiting 10 minutes for some warm Dr. Pepper.
I expected finding seating to be a bear, but as with the entire time I spent there, UOP was on the ball and expected it. They had plenty of outside seating to accommodate the penny pinching masses. The food was good considering I wasn't sure what to expect with many bites. Although I guess mystery is what you get when you tell the server "just give me a little bit of everything." What can I say? I'm adventurous.
After cleaning my plate (ok, so maybe it was good regardless of the mystery), I realized one big downfall. My plate was an actual plate, not a paper plate. I have to give this back. Yes, I almost immediately realized that the new UC was a green building. Fucking hippies. At first I thought that I had overlooked the disposable to go plates, but then I remembered my plate was handed to me already full of food. If I then wanted to go back and chow down in the dorm of some broad I had picked up earlier in the Lair, I'd have to come back to return the plate. (Because I would never just throw the plate away anyways in that situation.) Also, I remember drinks coming in different sizes so I could enjoy my Dr. Pepper throughout the day. Now I have a small plastic cup. But hey, free refills!
All in all it was a pretty decent experience. I was expecting mass chaos and was pleasantly surprised that I was in and out within a half hour. During free food day no less. The new UC is a sight to behold. Althought hat new water "fountain" is a drunken death waiting to happen. It's basically a rock slate with a half-inch lip, and the water pours over the lip into a grate that recycles the water. Considering it's in front of the building that houses the only legal public drinking place on campus, I'm predicting a "UOP Student's half inch of death" headline sometime in the future.
I hope you enjoyed this semi-review. I'm used to reviewing movies so being a food critic was kind of new to me. But I guarantee this will be better than the inevitable Fitzy column on the place. But we had it here first, so suck it Record.
UOP's brand spankin' new University Center opened today and as a way to
Personally I was hoping that the new campus pub the Tiger's Lair would be giving away free brewskis, but I knew that wasn't the case. I would have tried but as soon as I walked in I knew I was going to be in for a long wait for my free lunch and soda (finally with free refills!), so I picked one of the 37 lines that protruded out of the Marketplace (their fancy name for the cafeteria) and promptly realized I was in the wrong line.
Eventually one of the many Pacific staffers on hand enthusiastically handed me a map and gave me a quick guided tour of the 5 available food stations. Which I will now list if for no other reason than to show of their hilarious names:
On Exhibition
Apparently this means grilled items. Like burgers and and such.
Grainery/Deli
Technically they're two separate station, but one's bread and soup and shit. The other's the sandwich station. Bet you can't guess which is which!
Pacific Rim
Asian food. Allegedly including sushi. And other various Oriental delights.
Classics
All that classic food your mom used to make like spaghetti, meatloaf, and chicken.
Taqueria
This is a Stockton based blog, I shouldn't have to explain what a Taqueria is.
There's also a salad bar and a coffee shop on the first floor in the general vicinity of the Marketplace. But those cost money so I didn't even go near them.
I opted for the Oriental section, mostly because in the old Summit (the previous cafeteria-type place) that meant a bowl of rice with stir fry on top. As I approached the station, I realized that was not the case. Instead of a made when you order it rice bowl, the Asian station has turned into pretty much a cafeteria-style experience. You have your tray, you tell the person behind the counter what you want, and they scoop it out of another tray and hand you a plate with your food on it. Maybe the the Summit spoiled me (As a college age resident of Stockton, I've spent my fair share of time at UOP). Granted, this new system isn't a bad thing, I'm just a creature of habit. While disappointed that I didn't have my rice bowl, I was happy that I was able to get my food almost immediately (that "almost" being the line). Before, while waiting for the rice bowl, you had to kind of stand around with a usually huge line behind you while waiting for the stir fry to..well..fry. Time is the price for freshness.
I was also happy that they finally added some variety. Before, the rice bowl was the extent of the Asian cuisine experience at UOP. Well, unless you count the sushi trays. But I make it a general rule to not buy prepackaged sushi sitting in an open air fridge. Just a personal choice, but understandable. But while I was excited to try something new, it also exposed one of my cultural weaknesses. I'm not really up snuff on my Asian foods. I recognized some of the easy ones, there was some chow mein, white and fried rice, and an egg roll. But past that I was at a loss. There was something that was deep fried that tasted kind of sweet and soury, but didn't have any sweet and sour sauce. (Unless they cooked it into the deep fry batter McGriddle style. If so, I want to marry that little sweet and sour ball and have its kids.) There was also some sort of vegetable mix that swam around in what I think was teriyaki sauce. (Oh yeah, I'm no food critic either. But we'll get to what I thought of the foods later.)
After I got my food I needed to find something to wash it all down with. On each side of the Marketplace there's fountain drink stations. Unfortunately while there were 6 or so food stations, there were only 2 drink stations. Depressingly this was twice the amount of drink stations the Summit had. (3 times if you count the Lair) After finding which winding line was the one that ended with me getting a drink, I informed the two empty handed people in front of me that this was the drink line. I then handed them my map and they thanked me as they braved the free food frenzy. The drink line took longer than my food line, but that was more because the jackasses in front of me had an undetermined number of people in their group. Sometimes I was only 3 people away, but then 2 of their friends would come back with cups, because they all forgot cups. And then after all of that, the assholes get water. It's free food fuckos! That means load up on the Mt. Dew while it flows like water!
When it was finally my turn I was disappointed to find out that the ice had run out. It was excusable because roughly half the population of Stockton had descended upon the place in search for a free lunch. Although that still didn't take the sting out of waiting 10 minutes for some warm Dr. Pepper.
I expected finding seating to be a bear, but as with the entire time I spent there, UOP was on the ball and expected it. They had plenty of outside seating to accommodate the penny pinching masses. The food was good considering I wasn't sure what to expect with many bites. Although I guess mystery is what you get when you tell the server "just give me a little bit of everything." What can I say? I'm adventurous.
After cleaning my plate (ok, so maybe it was good regardless of the mystery), I realized one big downfall. My plate was an actual plate, not a paper plate. I have to give this back. Yes, I almost immediately realized that the new UC was a green building. Fucking hippies. At first I thought that I had overlooked the disposable to go plates, but then I remembered my plate was handed to me already full of food. If I then wanted to go back and chow down in the dorm of some broad I had picked up earlier in the Lair, I'd have to come back to return the plate. (Because I would never just throw the plate away anyways in that situation.) Also, I remember drinks coming in different sizes so I could enjoy my Dr. Pepper throughout the day. Now I have a small plastic cup. But hey, free refills!
All in all it was a pretty decent experience. I was expecting mass chaos and was pleasantly surprised that I was in and out within a half hour. During free food day no less. The new UC is a sight to behold. Althought hat new water "fountain" is a drunken death waiting to happen. It's basically a rock slate with a half-inch lip, and the water pours over the lip into a grate that recycles the water. Considering it's in front of the building that houses the only legal public drinking place on campus, I'm predicting a "UOP Student's half inch of death" headline sometime in the future.
I hope you enjoyed this semi-review. I'm used to reviewing movies so being a food critic was kind of new to me. But I guarantee this will be better than the inevitable Fitzy column on the place. But we had it here first, so suck it Record.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
