Well, let's open up the Record and see what news there is today. There's inauguration news, some...err..oh hey! More courthouse news, nice! And then there's... well, inauguration news, and some...inauguration news. Fuck, I wonder if anything big happened last night. I know, let's turn to the Sports page. They have to have written about something else. Wait, what's this? "Sports world pauses as new president takes office"? What the fuck is that shit? He was inaugurated at noon on a Tuesday! What sport has games scheduled to be paused at fucking noon? Oh no! They had to rearrange flight schedules! Stop the presses! We need to get this in there!
Alright, fuck this. I'm doing an all blog Quick Links since the Record decided to take a break from reporting actual news to suck Obama's cock like the rest of the nation.
At least they got the important shit out of the way first
Of course we start an all blog Quick Links with David Siders. Sure Fitzy has been posting more lately but Siders' shit is actually interesting. In this post he notes that the city council goal setting meeting only barely touched on the budget at the very end, which is disconcerting to say the least. But let's face it, it's the city council. Did you really expect them to get shit done? At least they finally ended that retarded electricity bid. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
One of the funniest things about the inauguration (which, despite our contempt for the oversaturated coverage, we did watch) was the mass exodus immediately following Obama's speech. As soon as the words "And now a poem from poet laureate..." hit the loud speakers millions of people started peacing out. Hell, I took that as my cue to stop watching the coverage which is a shame because I missed that adorable old man and his rhyming prayer. Well, that poet laureate apparently has SJ Valley ties. What ties? Nobody knows, apparently not even Fitzy as the link he provides actually says she was born in San Jose. I'm no geographer, but I'm pretty sure that makes her a Bay Area girl. Hell, it doesn't even say which part of the valley she's from, just that she grew up in the valley and the Mojave desert. Which tends to make us believe that she lived on the very southern end of the valley. Leave it to Mike Fitzgerald to find the most tenuous of local connections to an event and have it be the person who caused millions of people to file out as if the fire alarm went off as soon as she opened her mouth.
Dr. King would be proud
Jennifer Torres' first blog of the new year notes that, just like in Stockton, streets named after Martin Luther King have traditionally not been in the best neighborhoods. El Duke told me the other day that in pro wrestling legend Mick Foley's first book he noted that wrestlers who needed to score some drugs while on the road the first place they would usually go to was the street named after MLK in whatever city they were in. It's sad, really. But hey, we're not the ones who decided renaming Charter would be a great idea. Hooray reenforcing stereotypes!
You just had to go and open Pandora's box with that cat on bed picture
Last Friday's edition of myRecord featured a picture of a cat laying on a bed. Yeah, it's real hard hitting journalism over there. Of course, by printing that picture, they opened themselves up to cat ladies all over Stockton. We assume their inbox is now full of pictures of cute, cuddly animals of all sorts. And it looks like we're right. Today's myRecord features a picture of a dog giving its best "get that fucking camera out of my face" look. And it can't stop there, the link to the Online blog above continues the adorable animal motif Ian Hill seems to be going for. But to be fair, that's one a-fucking-dorable bunny. But the rhyming old civil rights guy was still adorabler.
Holy shit, we're about to say something positive about the Record's sport dept!
We've made it pretty clear that we wouldn't wipe our asses with the Record's sports pages. Mostly because of shitty columns, devoting way too many resources to high school sports, completely ignoring MMA despite having 3 of the more popular/talented mixed-martial artists living (actually living, not just being born here) in the area (Nick and Nate Diaz and Jake Shields) and perhaps the most legendary fighter ever growing up here (Ken Shamrock), and their refusal to use anything but wire services to cover the localish professional teams.
All that being said we're really glad they finally gave Jagdip Dhillon a blog. We're not the biggest college basketball fans in the world, but Jag is actually, you know funny. Plus he appears to be the one of the few people on the sports staff (along with Marty Greenstein) that understands the internet. Their podcast is usually fairly entertaining and it's only natural they give the guy an opportunity to blog since the Record seems to have a policy against giving people who actually have something to say a column.
I don't follow UOP's basketball team too much, something about not giving a shit about a team that plays in a conference that only gets one March Madness bid that usually ends in a one-and-done, but Dhillon has thrown up some interesting stats and stories about the team that are worth reading. (4-20 from the field for all starters? Did they plan that as a joke to their stoner friend or are they really that inconsistent?)
Although we have to note that Road Warrior/Legion of Doom member Hawk isn't proud of anything. He died a few years back. Gotta love pro wrestling!