Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Quick Links for Jan. 7th

I'm not sure what it is about this week, but fuck (hahaha, I said "but fuck"), I'm ready for the weekend. I'm also ready for the Quick Links. News! Asseeemmmblllle!

And now, the starting lineup for your Stockton City Council!

Remember that election thing from last year? Well, the results of that take effect this month! While the big change is coming in just under 2 weeks, the largely new city council is already in session and making passive aggressive remarks about each other. For a largely freshman council they sure are learning quickly. Outside of my specific district I didn't pay much attention to the local election. And even in my district I paid very little attention. So it's nice to get some basic info on the new council. Like I didn't know Ann Johnston owned the Baloonery. Or that Diana Lowery was Sally Save Water. Granted, I only barely remember what a Sally Save Water is, but knowing Stockton she probably got elected on that issue alone. By the way, is it just me or do the pictures on the front page make it look like Susan Eggman is giving Kathy Miller the look of lust? If I were Miller I wouldn't leave my drink unattended around her. Oh God, I just threw up a little in my mouth after that mental image. Let's move on.

What? Goldberg isn't available?

This is pretty old, but I just heard about it and it's pretty funny. Former WCW announcer, United States Champion, and member of the 4 Horseman Steve "Mongo" McMichael claims that fellow '85 Bear and current Niner coach Mike Singletary promised him a job as D-Line coach if he ever got a head coaching job. And you know what? I'm fine with that. While we're at it, why not just bring Ditka in? Hell, I wasn't terribly impressed with Shaun Hill, let's bring in Jim McMahon too! By this time next year we'll be in the middle of the newest dance craze "the First Round Blowout Shuffle".

Gambling's of the Devil I say! The Devil! Slot machines still under the jurisdiction of Robot Devil

Before we go any further I have to disclose that I'm a tad bit really biased in favor of this card room. Before they moved to the old Gary's Uptown location they used to be Axtion Jackson Cardroom, which was owned and operated by Jack Morgan. The same Jack from BWDW Jack's Back. Needless to say we're big fans of his. But ignoring all that, we still can't see how anybody could successfully oppose this expansion attempt. The religious group (and trust us, they're a religious group) that opposed the opening of the casino pretty much put all their eggs in the "unsavory character" basket. A year later and it doesn't look like southern Lodi's gotten any more dangerous. But opening it for another 2 hours would! Oh wait, no it wouldn't. This is just some religious group trying to push their views on the community as a whole. Look, if you don't like it, don't go over there. It's not like there's anything else on that section of Cherokee anyways. Quit being difficult and let honest businessmen run their business. If hookers start hanging out in front, you might have something. But until then, you're just bitching for the sake of bitching.

What's next? A tour of the campus so they know where everything is?

Maybe we're just naive, but we assumed when people ran for the Delta Board of Trustees using the platform of smarter spending of the Measure L bond money that they actually knew shit about the Mountain House campus and how other funds had been spent. I mean, we know that stuff. And we're just some assholes with a website. But no, the Delta trustees had to hold their second marathon meeting getting a history lesson about the bond measure and what we're now going to call the "Campus to Nowhere" (I know, timely joke). God forbid they actually be educated about shit they campaigned about. Are they going to go over this again for when Maria Serna's replacement comes in? Or are they all going to write up a term paper and each give a presentation to the newbie as if they were in English 1A? Needless to say, we shouldn't know more about Mountain House than the people who get to decide it's fate. Oh, and Ted Simas? That would be the most boring book of all time.

OK, so maybe Bob Highfill should just stick to bulletpoint columns

Ol' Bulletpoint is back today (two columns in 2 days? Did somebody switch his decaf with regular?) to participate in the yearly call for the BCS to turn to a playoff. Of course that'll never happen because college presidents are greedy sons of bitches who don't want to share bowl revenue with the NCAA, but Highfill knows somebody who came up with a novel idea! Stockton native Kevin Arbet thinks we should take the top 8 teams and put them in a seeded tournament made up of the 4 BCS bowl games. Sound familiar? That's because it's the definition of playoffs. And it's also because every College Football analyst/fan/player/coach has been pitching this idea for the past decade. But no, really, Kevin Arbet thought it up all by himself. It's an original idea and he copywrote so anybody who mentions having a playoff in college football has to credit this kid from Stockton. By the way, and maybe we're just nitpicking here, but if you're going to decry the current BCS system shouldn't you explain how it works? You know, like what stats they use to make up the computer ranking? We know what they are, does he? Yeah, we don't know how they still let Highfill write about sports either.

myRecord could use myFactchecker

No link for this one, since the Record doesn't post their corrections online. Or if they do there's no way in hell I'm wading through the search to find it. If you really want a link to a correction, here's David Siders pointing out that they flipflopped Diana Lowery and Leslie Martin. Which is pretty funny considering Martin is actually a returning council member. But back to myRecord. The soft launch started this week, less than a month after it's announcement and we already have a correction! Feel free to flip to A4 and see that the writers of the autism press release got their own phone number wrong. For those keeping count we're only 2 days into myRecord's existance. This should turn out splendidly.

(Slow clap)

We really have nothing else to add to this. Except for A-fucking-men. Oh, and there's no justice in a world where Bob Highfill can mail in columns on the easiest subject ever (sports) while Ian Hill has his taken away.

No comments: