Friday, January 9, 2009

Your hastily thrown together Quick Links for 1/9

Well, the first full week of 2009 is almost over. Thank fucking God. Hopefully not all weeks in 2009 are this long. Hope your week was shorter than ours. Let's knock out some Quick Links for this Sexy as hell Friday.

Gotta catch 'em all! Pokepigs!

Looks like somebody finally realized that maybe police work isn't the highly respected position it once was. Don't get us wrong, we appreciate everything law enforcement does for us, it's just that in our dealings with law enforcement it's easier to remember when a cop is being a dick than when they're cool. And trust us, there are cool cops out there. If there weren't I wouldn't have a cool Deputy Sheriff hat. All that being said, maybe encouraging kids to flag down police cars isn't the best idea in the world. Sure, it's a better idea than painting cop cars pink but, call me crazy, I like my police force to be fighting crime.

Although I have to admit the cards are hilarious. What can I say? I'm easily amused. A better idea at softening PD's (although in this case it's the Sheriff's Office) image would be to do what Tracy is doing. Yes, I know, a good idea coming out of Tracy is shocking but hear me out. I'd much rather talk to Cops over a hot cup of mud at a set time as opposed to having them flagged down while they're supposed to be patrolling the streets. Of course this is all happening outside of Stockton, so we barely give a shit. And no, we're not surprised that the police department in most need of a softer image (our own) has still done jack shit.

Second verse, same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse

Oh hey, another reminder that county supervisors have term limits. Unfortunately Steve Gutierrez didn't have a hilarious role in a randomly awkward reality show moment so we pretty much have no idea who he is. But hey, more boring filler articles. And surprise! He didn't say "fuck it, I'm done with politics" and will continue to be involved in public service. These election result articles will stop after inauguration right? That's change I can believe in.

Misc. shit we can't squeeze a paragraph out of

I'd post more Quick Links, but nothing's really been going on. At least nothing funny tha we can make assholish jokes about. Some girl got punched in the face for a backpack that ended up not getting stolen, that's kinda funny. The county's taking precautions to limit local living legend Tocan Nguyen to only 3-minute diatribes which is sad because the shit that comes out of her mouth is fucking hilarious. Speaking of fucking hilarious, Ian Hill has a hairdresser...and a fauxhawk. Why he's admitting to both of these things, I don't know. But we do encourage him to go all the way with the look and grow a rat tail too. Nothing's cooler than a fauxhawk going into a rat tail. Swear.

Duke promised to get a Kings Kolumn up today, plus some Shit to do because shit's actually going down this weekend. Have fun getting hyphy this weekend.

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