Quick Links for Jan 28th

I just love how some days are completely devoid of anything to do but then when we finally get thrown a bone it's an entire rack of ribs with even a little bit of meat still attached. When it rains it pours I guess. Let's see what we can get to today.

So does this mean he's now the Dolphin King?

Remember that wayward dolphin that made it up the Brookside levee? We haven't heard much about him since Alex Breitler went to DC. Apparently the dolphin (who we're calling Lemmiwinks since the Record failed to name it in a timely fashion) decided that if everybody was going to pay attention to a boring ceremony with a disappointing speech then he wasn't going to share his dolphin knowledge with us and peaced the fuck out. No word on what trials and tribulations Lemmiwinks had to go through to get back to his ocean home. We just hope he says hi to the Sparrow Prince for us on the way out.

OMG! OMG! The new "Ian Hill deep fries shit" is on!

Remember those exciting videos Kirk Barron promised the other day? Well they're here! And it include the latest edition of Stockton's culinary phenomenon, Ian Hill deep frying shit! In the last episode of Ian Hill deep fries shit, we watched as our protagonist gave us tips on how to properly deep fry a turkey. Which could most accurately be described as "defrost turkey, put in deep fryer, wait" while Hill had an "I can't believe I'm getting paid for this" look on his face.

In this episode he shows off his New York roots and schools us on how to properly make Buffalo Wings. But more importantly, it's the debut of a 30 year old man with a fauxhawk! We haven't actually gotten a chance to watch the video yet(like I said, busy day), but judging by the facial expressions in the pictures, it should be pretty funny. Here's hoping the next installment involves such awesome deep-fryables as the deep fried candy bar and deep fried Twinkies. Because if you're going to be dipping something into a vat of oil, it might as well be unhealthy to begin with to give it that double artery-clogging power. How they haven't tapped Hill's 209Vibe connections to get a beatbox theme for this show is beyond us.

Man, rents are totally falling! Except nobody can afford them still!

Wow, so this is a timely article. Having spent the past 2 months or so search craigslist for an apartment, I think I can safely say finding an affordable apartment isn't as easy as this article makes it out to be. Yes, it's cheaper, but it's still pretty fucking expensive. Even with my full time job I'd barely be scraping by with the rent prices in this article. The thing is, prices for multi-bedroom apartments are dropping. Single-occupancy apartments are still murder. And according to the manager at my complex, those are the ones they have the most trouble moving. The $645 price quoted in the article isn't cheap, it's average. Most 1 bedroom apartments are within the $600-$800 range. $800 is about how much my 2-bedroom place costs right now. So the housing market isn't having that big of an effect for guys like me who are tired of having a roommate who eats all my food but never buys their own.

On a side note, good Lord. How many "effects of the economy" articles can a paper run in one day. We have this one. The job fair article. And then there's Fitzy's column (aka the meat on the bone, which we'll get to tomorrow probably). Space this shit out a bit guys. The front page was just fucking depressing.

Ok, that's probably it from me today. Sorry it wasn't my best effort. Something feels a bit off and I can't quite place what it is. Hopefully I'm not getting sick, but that's kinda what it feels like. Maybe a Jagerbomb will make me feel better. Because if there's one thing that makes nausea go away, it's chugging half a can of Red Bull mixed with Jager.