Quick Links for Jan. 13th

It's day two of the new Record! Used to it yet? Yeah, me neither. We're also wondering how they justify raising the price of the paper by 50% and then promptly cut the amount of pages in the paper by about 50%. If we pay more we should get more. End of story.

Oh, so our title chances are really fucked

Oh hey, it's that story we tried to reference yesterday. So not only have criminal homicides dropped in the last 3 years, but they're also at the lowest levels since the 70s. Yeah, I'd say our title hopes are pretty much up in smoke. Although saying that the number of criminal homicides coincides with the number of police officers isn't a good thing to mention while in the midst of layoffs. I get that it's just politics, but good lord. These are people who are dead. Blair Ulring should be saying stuff like "While we're happy with the decline that's still 24 deaths too many", not "See! Homicides go down when there's more cops! We make you guys safer! Give raise now please!"

Sam Walton and the Lodi City Council just can't take a hint

This is still going on? Fuck, take a hint Wal-Mart. The only people who want the current Wal-Mart upgraded to Super is the city council who wants those sweet sweet property tax dollars. This fight has been going on forfuckingever. You're not wanted! I'd back off now because once Lodians run out of legal challenges, they'll resort to driving you out of town the only way they know how. And for a building the size you guys are proposing they'll need one huge burning cross. Luckily there's a Lowe's right across the street.

Those trees weren't old and dangerous! They were "experienced" and "eccentric"!

Note to all of Stockton. This is how you deal with trees. Just cut them the fuck down. I don't hear anybody in Tracy bitching about how ugly that park is because a tree they used to sit under as a kid got chopped down. They're just plants. They're not alive. They don't wistfully remember the summer of '85. They sit there, grow old, then die. When we have to bring up Tracy as an example of dealing with something the right way, you know something's wrong. So for the last time, fuck trees. We're still waiting for Fitzy to blog about this though. Perhaps he'll campaign for a memorial plaque. And yes, we realize we're reaching a bit.

Rickey would like to thank Rickey's legs for being so fast and getting Rickey all those stolen bases...

And finally, let's check in with ol' bulletpoint. Yup, big pile of bulletpointed shit. He only mentions one of the bigger pieces of sports news in passing (Baseball Hall inductees announcement) and totally ignores Rickey Henderson (who, you know, actually played on a local team) in favor of talking about Jim Rice (and Jason Giambi's love of In-and-Out Burger). Come on Bobby, the best news of the week is the possibilities surrounding Rickey's Hall of Fame speech. How many times can someone thank themselves in the third person? Will he ask us to thank Rickey for gracing us with Rickey's presence? These questions need to be answered!

That should probably do it for us for today. If shit goes down we might pop in, but it's an admittedly slow news day and we'd like to take another day or so before we totally bash the Record's new format. Let it be known, we gave them like 3 days to be good and didn't ask for anything in return. I know, we're saints.