We've done one every day this week so might as well keep it going. It's Quick Links time!
Fitzy's column about the Stockton Library's overdue fee discrepency is about as exciting as it sounds, no matter what the headline tells you. Were you aware that there can be tension when a place gets a new boss from out of town that tries to institute change?
The end of the column kind of comes out of left field too. He asks library Director Natalie Rencher about some fundraiser she brought in and she immediately clams up. Which makes no sense. Why? Because Fitzy doesn't say what the fuck is up with the fundraiser broad. "Why?" is one of the 5W's of journalism right? Why does the fundraiser matter Fitzy? You ask her, and there seems to be a story there. Even though you spend most of the column bitching about being lied to about the overdue fee figures, you leave the only semi-interesting question in the entire story unanswered? Why does Cathy Klady matter? You're inferring that she actually runs the library while Renceher kicks it with her fam in SoCal. Either outright say it, or don't include it at all. It's not nearly an important enough scandal to just kind of tease. I'm getting bored just writing about it. Let's move on.
This was a top contender for Rube of the Month before we finally decided getting hoodwinked by the idiots who run Delta is worse than getting hoodwinked by someone in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Note to everybody: If someone walks up to you in a parking lot and offers you anything, you say no. I don't care if it's the girl scouts selling cookies, you tell those bitches to take a hike. It's that simple. Feel free to shit in the Salvation Army bucket for good measure too. God I hate solicitors in big box parking lots.
I will not make a joke about black people in move theaters. I will not make a joke about black people in movie theaters. I will not make a joke about black people in movie theaters.
Speaking of racism, what is it called when someones racist towards a certain breed of dog? Breedist? And what the fuck does Ripon have against pitbulls anyways? If a policy is unwritten then guess what? It's not a fucking policy. Especially if the perspective adopter passes the test, and the pitbull passes the behavioral test. If both potential owner and dog are cool, what's the big deal? And since when did Modesto and Manteca start letting Ripon make its own policies anyways? Gotta keep your pimp hand strong guys.
And finally, does Joe Goldeen just have a template of this story and reprint it every Friday with a new price filled in? We fucking get it, gas is affordable again. Notice I said "affordable" and not "cheap". We understand this is your baby Joe, but for Wally's sake let if go already.