We're not really used to people noticing when we slack off. So when one of our diligent readers/friends (that's right, she's a diligent friend. We can use big words too Burkin.) asked if she could fill in for our lazy asses, I was more than happy to let her shoulder some of the load. Yes, we know girls. Swear. If you'd like to contribute as well feel free to e-mail us and if it's good we'll put it up here. Don't thank us, we just like to do our part to support local writers. Without further blathering, here's the BaconBabe, who doesn't have a website to link to....yet.
El Duke and Slick Diaz are currently on a "day off," along with Bris Isaak. This is the Bacon Babe filling in for them, while they recover from this weekend. Plus, El Duke is still in a zombie state from some bacon babe making him watch one hour of chick shows. (ed. note: I saw things I can't unsee.)
While dancing with the stars is having their finale and as I dash across the room to change the channel, there is a Thai Major-general who rather not have anything to do with dancing. Khattiya Sawasdiphol has been reassigned to teaching aerobics, after making bombs threats against protesters. The Major-general delivers us, this classic quote about dancing, as quoted in The Record "The army chief wants me, a warrior, to dance at markets. The army chief wants me to be a presenter leading aerobics dancers. I have prepared one dance. It's called the 'throwing-a-hand-grenade' dance." I'd love to link you to the article, but apparently The Record's Three Minute Record, is still only available in print edition.
Two more things The Record can improve on…. Maybe they can send out an email of the Three Minute Record. It can be what it is now, a daily synopsis of the day's news, but in email form. Maybe they do. I never felt the need to subscribe to The Record, print or online.
The second thing. It's really sad The Record doesn't have THErecordnet.com registered. It's too confusing. A paper builds up a brand, as THE Record, but their website leaves off the "the" in its url. It's time for The Record to get the Thai Major-general, to do his "dance" on the URL Squatter's ass and put the domain name into the correct owner's hand.
Meanwhile, over in Fitzy's Fairyland, Fitzy covers the on-going court battle over Delta land given to the nonprofit Shadowbird, by the Indian givers, The Grupe Co. Fitzy starts the story off like a fable, comparing it to a poker tournament. Watching a poker tournament, is the most boring thing, second to Fitzy's column. I occasionally fall asleep during Carson Daly's Last Call and wake up, diving to turn off the TV, during Poker After Dark. Hey! I know what you saying, "this girl is whack." Well, like I said it's the Bacon Babe writing today, while the boys nurse their drinking wounds.
We all know by now, The Record doubles up on reporters, sharing sports writing duties with The Lodi News-Sentinel. Which leaves us, here at RTT, to do their jobs. Here's your sports wrap-up. Niners lost, again. Raiders won. Sometimes headlines can be misleading. Such as this one "East Union High grad gets shot as coach." It confused me, thinking I clicked on the crime section, instead of the sports section.
In other news, Stockton sees second homicide in less than a day.
Has anyone else noticed the lack of legitimate jobs on the Stockton Craigslist? They all appear to be scams.
"Earn Fast Money Now!"
"Work from home!"
"No Fee Required Take Survey!"
It's the old envelope stuffing scam gone high-tech. Oh hey hold up there, it says "reply to ElDuke@reclaimingthetitle." Why that…