You may have heard sometime throughout the night that Barack Obama was elected President. Whether you watched it on CNN, the Daily Show special, or heard the excited cries of joy from your upstairs neighbor at 8pm like I did; chances are you'll remember the moment you heard he won for a long time.
Like most papers, the Record had their post-election front page planned well in advance. They went the historical route with their headline and even splashed a "YES WE CAN" across the top. But we got our grubby little hands on a list of rejected headlines that the Record considered going with before they settled on what eventually made it to print. (Note: If you think these are real, you're a moron.)
"America smells what Barack is cooking"
"All aboard the hoooooooooooooope train"
"(Black)light of hope"
"I wanna Barack! Barack!"
"Black to the Future!"
There's also about 90% of the lines from "Blazing Saddles" reworked in hilarious fashion. But we'll leave that for you to come up with on your own.
In all seriousness, this was a historic election. Not that fake kind of history like ESPN tried to claim the last Superbowl was. This is actual history, and we'll all remember this election for a long time. Mostly because is encompassed two years of our lives that we'll never ever get back. Fuck we're glad this election is over.
We'll probably have more on this later, but for now we can't stress enough how disappointed we are that we live in discriminatory state. Fucking Mormons.