Quick Links for March 9th

Fuck, Monday already? Damn you Father Time! I want that hour back! At the very least Starbucks should be passing our free coffee. They do it on election day when it's borderline illegal, but not on "Lose an hour of sleep" day. It's bullshit. Anyway, we're slowly making some more changes to the site. Nothing big, just small cosmetic changes and adding some links. Oh hey, that reminds me, Quick Links!

Don Blount sees many things

A while back we said that we're pretty sure Don Blount's columns were about whatever he was thinking about during his designated "column time". And he pretty much confirms that with his first sentence today. We were scared for a second that these "unrelated thoughts" would be actual thoughts and not shit he saw, thus bucking the hilarious trend, but luckily he didn't disappoint. So much so that it's getting the mini-FJM treatment.

"I've garnered a reputation as a lover of the arts..."

When I think of Don Blount I think of theater and opera so yeah, I'd say he loves the arts.

"although I don't think anyone would confuse me with being cultured."

With writing ability like this? Really? Amazing.

"The Record tries to cover the arts community as best we can, particularly areas that we may not have given coverage to in the past."

Mostly because there's less space to do so. And less people to cover it with. Oh, and hasn't the Record always covered what it currently covers (old people and plays)? The only coverage that's really changed in the arts community is less coverage of the local music scene. Which makes total sense since by most accounts it was just starting to get big. (Well, big-ish)

"Surprisingly, my daughter loved the "Nutcracker" when she was 4."

So your kid loved a play for kids about the biggest kid holiday there is. Imagine fucking that.

"I must say that I spend just as much time during these shows watching my kids as I do the show itself."

See, that whole writing about shit he sees thing isn't a joke. And we can't stress enough how important the word "my" is to that sentence. If it's not there, this column would take a dark, dark turn.

"We've entered the realm of live chats on recordnet.com."

And just 5 years after most other websites too!

"We plan to do more of these chats, including one on Tuesday, leading up to conference play among NCAA basketball teams."

Now if only they had anybody on staff who knew about sports.

"Sports Editor Bob Highfill and Pacific beat writer Jagdip Dhillon will be online for those tournaments, particularly the Big West Conference tournament in which University of the Pacific will play."

Oh, so this chat will last for all 2 games UOP will last in the tournament. Highfill should love this since chats are essentially multiple bulletpoints.

"In journalism, we try to avoid conflicts of interest or promoting our personal projects."

Sure. Whatever you say.

Alright, this is getting too easy. Time to move on.

This council couldn't have worse timing if it tried

We don't really think this is a big deal, it's just a matter of timing. Granted, I haven't seen a video phone outside of a 90s movie's view of the future in forever, and they could probably accomplish the same thing with a computer and a web cam for a lot cheaper, but anything that could result in Arnold Schwarzenegger popping up on a video phone Total Recall-style is OK with me.

On a side note, am I the only one losing more faith in Dale Fritchen with every word that comes out of his mouth?

Save my program!

No really! Save it! Why won't anyone think of the children!? MY program is totally more important than everybody elses! Is it wrong that we're already totally jaded by these stories since it's the millionth one we've seen? If you want your program to be saved, shouldn't you be e-mailing people with money, not the newspaper? Newspapers don't have any money.

No really, newspapers don't have any money

And the best way to remedy that? Restructure ad rates to make them more affordable to businesses that are also struggling? No way! That involves complicated math! And that's not exactly a journalists strongest subject. It's wayyy easier to just lay people off then wait for that sweet sweet stimulus money to trickle down to them. Oh, and let's raise ad rates so less struggling businesses can afford them. Like we said, math is not a strong subject for newspapers. At least we know that the Record isn't going internet-only anytime soon. There's no way their website is ready for that. Of course, I'm using common sense. So look for an internet only LENS section any day now.