Before we get started with the quick links, happy Talk Like a Pirate Day everybody. Arrrrrrr! Man, that felt good...matey. We'd type like pirates all day but pirates have horrible grammar and reading sentences like "Fitzy, ye be not funny, yar." all day would probably make your eyeballs bleed. Plus we're pretty sure typing like a pirate isn't practical, the hook would get in the way.
Queen Emily made it to the America's Got Talent Top 5 (We'd have a link, but saw this story in the 3-Minute Record and wrote this paragraph, stupidly assuming that the story would be on recordnet.com.), beating out an undetermined number of drag queen celebrity impersonators (we'd have the exact number of drag queens she beat out, but we watch TV shows that are actually entertaining). The Queen said of her experience on the show so far, "It feels grand." Which brings up two thoughts. One, Someone's letting that Queen nickname go to their head a little bit. And two, people still say grand? What's next? I had a gay ol' time winning that competition? We're calling our shot and predicting a "Coronation of a Queen" headline when she wins this thing. And yes, we're well aware we quoted the Flintstones theme a couple sentences ago.
Apparently Fitzy couldn't settle on a column idea so he went with the quick hits format. Which is fine as long as it doesn't become a cructh. (Because we're currently using that crutch.) It does help if the hits contain something resembling humor. Telling people to check out your blog for more info isn't a column, it's an advertisement.
There's a $5,000 reward for information leading to the capture of Mayra Lopez's killer. No funny comment here, just passing along important information.
For some sick reason we find stories like this to be hilarious. Note to the World: If it sounds too good to be true, it is. Especially if that sound is coming from a Canadian.