Ok, we're back from Christmas vacation. It's not like we'd have had much to post about while we were gone. On the 26th there were exactly 9 news stories written by the Record. And shit doesn't look like it's gonna pick up anytime soon. Luckily we still have an award to pass out later. Hooray filler! Quick links time bitches!
A guy bit off a piece of his neighbor's cheek during a drunken Christmas fight. I'm not even really sure how that's possible. Was his neighbor a chipmunk or something?
We're waiting for this list to be over before we say anything about it. With only two slots left we're guessing the rodeo might sneak in there, and maybe the referendum/general plan. Of course, this is being voted on by the Record's readers. The same readers who voted the economy only the 7th biggest story of the year, which I guess if a bit revealing as to what kind of readers the Record has (coughricholdracistwhitepeopleunaffectedbytheeconomycough). Let's just say I'm not holding my breath that any of them remember who Mayra Lopez is (a death we thought was way sadder than Aaron Kelly's).
Hey everybody, guess what? You know old, crazy, rich, white dude Alex Spanos? Well guess what? He's old and crazy! This is how slow news has been lately. The guy's roughly 600 years old, of course he's losing his marbles. That whole referendum thing didn't tip you off? (We kid, we know his ancient ass had about as much to do with the referendum as the loss of potential jobs did.)
And finally, they got rid of the sea lions at Mickie Grove Zoo? To make way for birds? Fucking weak. Of course the first time a bird lands on my shoulder pirate-style in this exhibit all will be forgiven. McDyver is a genius name though by the way.
We'll probably be here all week this week. Look out for an early New Year's Eve edition of Shit To Do, Real Stocktonian of the Year, and if I know El Duke we'll be getting a Kings Kolumn about last night's debacle shortly.