Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Quick Links for Feb. 3rd

I uh...well hey....err...fuck. I got nothing. On to the Quick Links!

Teen Slave returns!

After taking a hiatus from the news cycle, media darling Teen Slave makes his triumphant comeback! The search warrants are coming out either later today or tomorrow, hopefully revealing new information that the Record will promptly outsource to the AP. On a side note, how many court appearances can these guys have before they enter a plea? At the rate this is going it's going to take longer than the OJ trial. (Realizes he became eligible for jury duty a month ago) Fuck!

Oh the complexity! Won't somebody explain this to me in layman's terms?

Wow, I guess it's retro news day since we haven't heard about this case since before we started the site. Oh hey! Joe Goldeen's writing about something other than gas prices! Wooo! But allow us this one piece of nit picking. From the article:
"...in the hope of bringing the complex, drawn-out case to a conclusion."
What's so fucking complex about this case? An old man and his family with a history of being financial sheissters do it again and fucked over all their employees...allegedly. We'll give you drawn out as this whole shitstorm started in 07, but complex? Here, from the same article:
"The state Employment Development Department said the restaurant had neither paid unemployment insurance nor reported the workers' employment."
Ahhhh! My head! I can't wrap my tiny blogger brain around such complex words as "unemployment insurance".

Come on Joe, this is Stockton. 13% unemployment rate, remember? I'm pretty sure a good chunk of Stockton could school you on a thing or two about unemployment benefits. But please, continue. And really, try and dumb it down for us. My head hurts.
"The Sangs also allegedly owe the state $350,707 in unpaid taxes for 2005, 2006 and 2007 as well as $316,598 in penalties and interest, for a total of $667,303, according to a pretrial statement."
Fuck! What does that even mean!? All those numbers! And...and...taxes! You can unpay those!? My God, this is so fucking complicated! I'm a writer, not a financial wizard!

Long story short, we're dicks.

And the world's third most ridiculous staring contest continues

Hey, speaking of long, drawn out battles that should have been resolved a long time ago, ActingInterim Assistant Police Chief Blair Ulring let the City Council budget and finance committee know that budget cuts still mean less police. You know, in case they forgot. Kind of like the police apparently forgot it's either layoffs or a pay cut. Unless of course they have a magical third option that makes $9 mil appear out of thin air.
"Ulring said he could neither recommend a plan to balance the department's budget nor one to reduce spending by $9 million next year. That decision is the council's to make, he said."
So he's warning about the menace to society that laying off cops will be and his union is refusing to negotiate a pay reduction (even a temporary one) to save those jobs. And on top of all of that, he's saying "fuck it, you guys figure this shit out." Sounds like somebody's been taking advice from a Real Stocktonian. Can't we just stop all this political posturing and remember that pretty much everyone involved in this situation got to where they are because part of them wanted to serve the public? "Serve and Protect" right? Apparently SPD's motto is "Serve and Protect...and get fuckin' paid!".

I've already said this but I'll repeat myself. This is a PR nightmare for SPD and the city. It's mostly on SPD though, who have taken numerous hits in the past year. Remember when we said that public opinion of PD was nearing all-time lows? Well, it's happening, like now. Now there's some jackass columnist calling for bankruptcy to force you guys back to the negotiating table and he's calling for your fucking pensions! PD's PR has gotten so bad that the metro columnist is headhunting for retirement pay. There's a problem guys, you're going to have to make a choice. Either take a pay cut or lose more officers. Do you want to lose a little money now, or sit and watch as some fuckshovel gains more support for his worst case scenario idea and starts fucking with your future money? Frankly, I'd be more worried about my retirement. Because if I'm going to get shot at for 20 or 30 years, I want a big God damn prize at the end.

And while we're nibbling around Fitzy's bait, allow us to present this conspiracy theory. What if Dale Fritchen and Fitzy cooked up this horrible bankruptcy column so when Fritchen presents his idea to get the city out of debt it doesn't seem as bad by comparison? All the quote coming from that guy can be summed up with "Fuck. Just when I think we can't get any more fucked, we get fucked again. Fuck." Needless to say, he hasn't been very positive. Not that there's much to be confident about, but he seems to be preparing us for the worst case scenario so when it doesn't happen, he'll look like a fucking genius.

Fitzy's audience is presumably old white people, the only demographic that really gives a shit about the budget woes to begin with. Why not distract them from the real problem (which, for those who weren't paying attention yesterday, is poor investing with our tax dollars and a revenue stream dependant on an erratic housing market.) and have everybody bitch about people who make more money than them? Bitching about the more affluent is all the rage now!

I hate that this is within the realm of possibility. God I love Stockton.

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