Yeah, there's no way around it, it's a slow news day. I knew we should have saved one of those 4 posts yesterday for a filler post today. Let's scrape the sides of the proverbial peanut jar that is the Record and see if we can get some Quick Links.
So apparently the whole "jumping the wall" story was from eyewitness accounts. That doesn't explain the "running out the back door" part, but whatever. Gotta love people just spouting off bullshit to feel like they're part of the story. I'm actually shocked they didn't go any further and say they helped give the kid a boost over the wall then valiantly fought the boy's "Aunt" until they were knocked unconscious from a baseball bat to the back of the head. Gotta love Tracy. "Oh shit, something cruel and disgusting went down at that house on Tennis Lane. How can I somehow make this about me?" Yes, they're somehow using the same logic my sister does at Christmas time and pretty much every other family gathering.
myRecord? More like myAdorable!
I guess I missed the part where Mike Klocke said myRecord was the place to dump all the cute photos Stockton's residents have been dying to share. But I'm not complaining. That baby is adorable. And damn Ian Hill for stealing the obvious joke. That kid is, in fact, the Record's youngest reader. The next youngest being us. Third youngest is Phyllis McOldington from Rio Las Palmas.
Baby photos also serve as a nice reminder that bumping uglies can result in kids. So always wear a rubber. Sure, that kid may look cute now. But that kid is going to grow up and become a awkward teenager with weird hair. God, will they ever grow out of this phase? It's a phase, right? I can't even understand what they're listening too. "Uberscreamotechnocore"? (You thought kids had shitty taste now? Yeah, future is going to suck.) What's that? Is it even music? Not so cute now are they?
I don't really have too much to add to this, but whoever wrote that headline is stretching it a bit. I love Lethal Weapon as much as the next guy, but Danny Glover is not an icon of any sort. Not an acting icon, not a cultural icon, not an icon period. He's a decent actor, a funny guy, but not an icon. Now if Samuel L. Jackson comes next year (HINT!) then we can bust out icon status.
We anxiously await Hank Hill's filibuster
A little while back we said we were "slightly fearful of somehow recreating the water conservation episode of King of the Hill". Now we're mildly fearful. Of course we'd rather do water rationing than Save our Stockton's ridiculous Astroturf idea (at least I think that's what the point of that post was). Although we're skeptical of any idea from a post that actually calls the city leaders "wise". Plus, I could have sworn we'd already found a water conscious was to keep our lawns green. Beats Kahn's secret Asian watering technique.