Friday, February 6, 2009

Quick Links for Feb. 6th

Woohoo! Weekend! Now I can sleep off tomorrow's hangover as opposed to painfully working through it. Somebody pass me the bong Advil. And now the Quick Links! Which is like Highfill's bulletpoint column, but actually funny and interesting.

And the next futile attempt in securing a raise the city can't possibly afford is...

Arbitration! Yes, because PD apparently still doesn't understand when Dale Fritchen says there's no fucking money. And unfortunately, the arbitrator will probably rule in favor of SPD because technically they are legally required to get that raise. That still doesn't change the fact that there's no money. So in reality, SPD is just shooting themselves in the foot. If the city is forced to pay PD more, that just means they'll have to lay off more officers to compensate. Which is kind of counterproductive to Blair Ulring's whole wanting to keep as many officers on the street as possible thing. Underpaid officers (underpaid by their standards) are still officers on the street asshole! Quit being a dick and make concessions that will keep as many officers on the street as possible. Pay cuts or layoffs? Which one do you want? You have to make a choice. Even the Record thinks so! You know how often we agree on shit? And don't think the city doesn't have the balls to layoff police officers. Wanna know why?

They just did it

Yup, in a classic Friday news dump, the city laid off 29 police officers and threw in the IT guy and the Library director for funzies. Nice job by Ann Johnston trying to act like nothing happened. Luckily David Siders' bullshit detector presumably went off and he was able to find out that shit in fact did go down. We like how it seems Siders was just camped out by Gordon Palmer's office waiting for the recently pink-slipped to emerge. This is how the city announces all layoffs right?

And if the name Natalie Rencher looks familiar it's because she was the apparently controversial absentee Library Director featured in a poorly written Fitzy column last November. At least we think she was controversial. We're not entirely sure. Like I said, it was a poorly written column.

But either way, the message is clear. The City Council doesn't give a fuck, they'll layoff whoever they need to come in under budget. Which we can't blame them for since it's their job. It's time for the Assistant Chief to do his.

Hey guys! Gang war at Lincoln Center!

This has bad idea written all over it, or at least it would if it wasn't in an area so white that bleach would actually make it dirtier. Why not go the distance with this idea and have the southern portion of Lincoln Center offer discounts for those in blue and the northern side get discounts for red. Then everybody can meet at Ben Holt and fight for who gets the 10% discount at the Chevron on the corner. We're convinced Joe Goldeen would bring a crossbow and a mace to this.

California Stockton Cougars soccer! Tickets still available!

The Cougars are finally starting to catch on! Jason Anderson reports that Stockton's favorite group of sexy ladies of advanced age indoor soccer players are...ummm, we're not actually sure what the point is. They're still around, which is more than we expected last year. Sure, they're still losing money, but not as much money. And they're promoting events that raise attendance a whole 600 more people than average! Which makes the Arena slightly more than a quarter full. Total success story! And the team's good! Ok, well, better. Yes, somehow being down 9-2 at the half is better. But hey, they came back to lead! And then promptly lost in OT. Wait, soccer has OT? I thought it was some penalty kick thing. Granted, the last time I watched soccer a French guy was headbutting an Italian, so I'm no expert. But I do know that 23 goals means that both teams played less defense than the Sacamento Kings. If they an only maintain this hot scoring streak they'll have that Arena halfway full by 2021!

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