Friday, October 31, 2008

Top 5 comics that should replace those other 5

Before we get on with the top 5, we should probably clarify something. If a comic wasn't in the last top 5, that's not an endorsement of that comic. The 5 we listed were just the cream of the suck crop. We actually only read about 4 comics that the Record prints: Get Fuzzy, Zits, Dilbert, and Pearls Before Swine. So as you can see, we didn't want to post a negative, completely juvenile list of shitty comics. We just couldn't come up with a top 5 list of comics they print that we like. It's really their fault. So in the interest of shedding that negativity, we're providing you with this helpful list of comics to replace the last 5. That's right, we're solution oriented. Just wait until we write the top 5 things needed to improve Stockton's music scene (spoiler alert! #1 is the ritual execution of all screamo bands). But until then...

Top 5 comics that should replace the last 5

1. Rubes

It may surprise you to know that we're aware of 5 comics that the Record doesn't print. It surprised us too until we realized that we read a combined minimum of 3 papers a day. We're admitted journonerds. Rubes isn't in any paper we read. We stumbled upon it getting links for this and the last top 5. It's a shame it's not printed because it brings back fond memories of perrenial favorite The Far Side. Note to F-Minus, this is how you do offbeat humor. Plus we're suckers for the name. Especially after we started our rube of the month club. Speaking of offbeat humor...

2. Garfield Minus Garfield

Ok, so this is a net comic. That doesn't make it any less fucking hilarious. We'll let Garfield Minus Garfield's creator explain the concept (that's right, we learned how to block quote kinda):
"Garfield Minus Garfield is a site dedicated to removing Garfield from the Garfield comic strips in order to reveal the existential angst of a certain young Mr. Jon Arbuckle. It is a journey deep into the mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness and depression in a quiet American suburb."
Kinda makes actual Garfield make a whole lot more sense doesn't it? I always wondered why he let his fat ass cat boss him around. Even Garfield creator Jim Davis thinks it's cool to the point where they're releasing one of those Garfield books fat lonely people always buy, but without Garfield. If he can see the light, so can the Record.

3. Drabble

See, we're not just doing comics only people with our sense of humor would like. Although we kindof like Drabble, so maybe we are. Either way, this is a decent comic that's kind of a middle ground choice. It's not the best comic out their by our comedic standards, but then again not every comic can be Pearls Before Swine (our absolute favorite). Plus my dad always liked Drabble, so soft spot. (All together now, awwwwww.)

4. Brevity

Another classic example for F-Minus at offbeat humor done right. This one actually might have been in the Record for like half a second if our booze addled minds serve us correctly. Either that or we saw it in the Chronicle. Either way, quality comic.

5. Marmaduke

Because let's face it, Marmaduke is just fun to say. Plus we gotta throw the old people a bone. Yes, this is a blatant attempt to butter them up to let us have a Plea for Peace Center.

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